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Ladies like me are always complaining about how hard it is to find a real gentleman these days (someone to open all of your whatevers and cut up your dinner), but something you hear a lot less about is how it’s almost impossible, in 2011, to find a real lady. Where have all the ladies gone?! In the old days it seemed like you couldn’t throw a handkerchief without it landing on the covered head of a lady with gloves on who had an almost English accent and who would tilt her head a little when you spoke to her, and who was super annoying about table manners and knew when to speak in hushed tones, and whose hair was always perfectly fake looking, even at nighttime. These days you’d be lucky to find a woman with gloves on at all! Oh, how terrible it must be for the modern man. That is why this particular video struck me so much — a woman reacting to a marriage proposal the way all men WISH their girlfriend would. (A 100% real man fact, ladies.) Finally, a little lady chivalry. Guys, tell your girls to come to the computer screen. Girls, tell your girls to come to the computer screen. You’re all about to get LADY SCHOOLED!
YES! Straight up hit the floor. Nothing like a good lady faint to show your guy that you really care. “But what if I just don’t faint?” you’re probably wondering. “Can I still be a lady if I don’t faint naturally? Is there ANY way?” Well, the answer is basically no. But you can always fake a faint? Listen. No one is going to judge you for faking a little faint when your boyfriend asks for your hand in marriage in front of your surprise party (that you seemed to have at least suspected, if not full-on known about). It’s called MANNERS. You’ll figure it out for yourself at some point, I’m sure. For now you’ll just have to trust me. Also always wear gloves and never eat when someone is watching! Sneak bites when they blink! #LADYTIPS! (Via VVV.)
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If that’s how she reacts to the proposal, I can only imagine her reaction on the wedding night.
At least she’ll already be on her back*, amirite?
*on their backs is the only way true ladies have sex, obviously
while simultaneously avoiding eye contact.
In the dark. With your shirts on.
Of course. There’s no need to remove your shirt for downstairs activities.
With her eyes closed, thinking of England.
with a Toni Braxton album playing on repeat
I think this joke would have been poorly received by someone who doesn’t post here a lot!
BLARGH MY SENTENCE IS JUNK. “…poorly received if posted by someone…”
I told you whipper-snappers not to get rid of that fainting couch! Now look what happened!
Lordy, I need to sit down, this corset has crushed several more of my vertebrae.
His words have positively given her the vapours!
AHEM, Kelly. I believe there are some ladies present.
If you will excuse me, I will be lounging on my chaise.
I believe the correct pluralization is Brittanies Hillard, and not Brittany Hillards.
I was going to suggest that maybe she just has that fainting goat syndrome, and she got spooked when he lunged down towards her like that, but then I started thinking about the fainting goat kittens, and for some reason I went back and re-watched the video and now here I am crying at my desk again. You know, like a real lady.
Polythene Pam you’ve made this the worst Halloween ever.
HAHAHAH I OPENED THIS UP AND THATS SO FUNNY WHEN SH……………………………………………………………..
What a weird looking Cinnabon…
Man, she hit the DECK. I gasped. In the library. I would have been embarrassed, but the guy next to me was watching porn, so…
That reminds me, by the way, of a time I was in this same library (in Chicago), right after I’d first moved to the city. I was at this same computer, and I heard a sound I never heard before, but it was unmistakeable. I could hear a stream of urine hitting the carpet, and I’ll never forget how composed the librarian was. “Sir, would you PLEASE finish that in the bathroom?!” she said, sternly. First of all, “sir”, to a guy pissing in your library. Second of all, “please”. And finally, inviting him to finish his business right there in her establishment. #classylibrariangum
If she was REALLY polite, she wouldn’t have just said “sir.” She’d have said “Mr. Jackman, sir.”
If someone’s being a True Lady and no one is there to see it, do they still make a sound against the concrete? #ladyphilosophy101
In all fairness, that man set up probably the best proposal ever. It would take a woman of steel (a robot) not to faint.
(For just this reason, statistically, most asthenophobes (people who fear fainting) are saving themselves for robots.)
This joke has a lot of parts! Not too many, though! JUST THE RIGHT NUMBER OF PARTS.
If I learned anything from Betty Draper (besides, of course, Don’t Ever Be Betty Draper), it’s that you should buy a stylistically incongruent chaise lounge for just such occasions – but call them fainting couches because This Is America.
Sidenote, how do you pronounce the ‘lounge’ in chaise lounge? I always thought it was pronounce normally like in ‘lounge lizard’ but I recently heard it pronounce ‘chaise lonnnng”…
I say “lonje” but I don’t know if it’s right, even though I should because I took 6 years of french immersion. Ah well, my education was wasted!
Right? I watched Downton Abbey LAST NIGHT and Maggie Smith pronounced it chaise looooong. (Is this what you meant by “recently?” If so… OMG, why isn’t there a Sunday Night TV Open Thread? Walking Dead, Downton Abbey, Boardwalk Empire, THE RETURN OF MISFITS, and soon enough Mad Men and Game of Thrones! Open thread? Open thread!)
But yea… that pronunciation made me question everything I ever believed.
Pretty romantic picnic location, too. And well decorated. One balloon would have been plenty, but I think I see 3 or 4!
He asked her to marry him despite her narcolepsy, how sweet!
I hope you will all contribute to my new fund, which I’m calling Buy Every Child a Tripod So There Are Less Wobbly Youtube Videos In the World fund.
This is really cute.
I know! I mean, I laughed, but still: “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!”
Some lady. She faints like a tramp.
http://www.cc2biz.com