Photos
Gabe: First of all, before we begin, let me just say that you’re fired
Gabe: sorry
Kelly: Ok, no, that’s fine
Kelly: I understand completely
Gabe: if you need a letter of recommendation
Gabe: you can’t have one
Gabe: no one writes letters anymore
Gabe: tell them to hit me up on chat or facebook
Kelly: You know, I don’t think I’ll be needing one
Kelly: I think I might just quit everything altogether
Kelly: I’ve given it a good enough run, I think this is the end
Gabe: yeah, no, you tried your best
Kelly: So really thank you
Gabe: hang it up
Gabe: a lot of people are like “never give up,” i’m like “maybe it’s time”
Gabe: i feel like you know you, you know?
Kelly: Oh I know. You’re like, “Maybe it’s time” and I’m like, “I’m not even listening anymore.”
Gabe: so, let’s talk about these fucking clothes!
Gabe: while you pack up your desk!
Kelly: OK GREAT!
Kelly: First of all they look stunning and I love them all very much
Kelly: Do you have an opinion on them
Gabe: well, first of all, let’s tell people
Gabe: what they are
Gabe: and this is just one of the reasons i’m firing you
Gabe: but it’s not all of the reasons
Kelly: They’re CLOTHES
Gabe: 
Kelly: They’re clothes based on the movie and book Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Kelly: coming to H&M soon
Kelly: Designed by…
Kelly: Trish Summerville, the costume designer
Gabe: Mikquels Blahmqohtsht
Gabe: ?
Gabe: is that right?
Gabe: is it his outfits? or the sociopathic rape victim’s outfits?
Kelly: It’s the sociopathic rape victim’s outfits because it is sexy, please get with it
Kelly: It’s just what young women WANT
Kelly: Sex crime clothing
Kelly: At a reasonable price
Kelly: And they want to try it on in dressing rooms where you can’t even see anything because what is the DEAL with H&M dressing rooms
Gabe: hahah
Gabe: i feel like you’ve got a completely separate agenda
Gabe: from discussing these lisbeth salamander rape costumes
Kelly: If I have to use GWTDT rape costumes as a platform to get to the real issue of how H&M dressing rooms are only dark closets that give you migraines I will do it
Gabe: look, i know that there’s no such thing as rape-y outfits because rape has nothing to do with clothing and it’s an act of violence and aggression etc
Gabe: BUT
Gabe: there is something kind of weird about a line of clothing
Gabe: based on someone who is surrounded by so much rape?
Gabe: i mean, if clothing is aspirational, and this clothing has a series of 1,000-page novels behind it
Gabe: what is the aspiration here
Gabe: or is it just for girls who wish they were better at hacking into Photoshop or whatever
Kelly: The aspiration is, I guess, to look like, I don’t know, a tough gal who doesn’t take any shit
Kelly: But still knows how to wear clothing pretty well, but it isn’t really any kind of a thing?
Kelly: A young girl who wears clothes for their utilitarian purpose and
Kelly: you know
Kelly: WHATEVER if they just happen to look like they’re from a stylish movie about rape
Kelly: Like I kind of want that leather jacket thing the girl is wearing second in on the right?
Kelly: Probably lots of people want that jacket
Kelly: And I think it’s maybe easy to remove the look from the rape part
Gabe: so get rid of the rape
Gabe: and JUST leave the sociopath
Kelly: Yes basically
Gabe: i mean, the reality is this line of clothing would just be called “GOTH CLOTHES” if it was 15 years ago.
Gabe: and chris kattan still worked at the Cinnabon
Kelly: because the movie, at least the trailer and the muppets trailer, are so STYLEY
Kelly: But like wouldn’t you want…hmmmmmmm
Kelly: I was going to say I want all of the clothes from Rosemary’s Baby but I DON’T want a demon baby
Except I would never wear the hat, hats made me look dumb.
Kelly: That makes sense, right? Case closed.
Kelly: But REALLY what I’m saying is that I don’t know, this is a kind of really disturbing line of clothing that in order to accept
Kelly: you have to forget all the rape behind it
Gabe: that makes sense
Gabe: except that Rosemary from Rosemary’s baby was a normal woman
Gabe: caught up in a world of monsters
Gabe: so you’re saying you want to look normal
Gabe: and like you’re married to Frank Sinatra
Kelly: Hmm your’e right
Kelly: BUT wouldn’t you want her husband’s suits
Gabe: oh, look
Gabe: i would take john cassavetes suits from rosemary’s baby
Gabe: in a second
Gabe: and if they came with a devil baby
Gabe: and a successful television writing career
Gabe: so be it
Kelly: You’re right, ok that analogy fails
Gabe: i mean, the closest comparison we have right now is
Gabe: the satin jacket from Drive
Gabe: and what’s interesting is that Ryan Gosling in Drive was ALSO a sociopath
Kelly: Hmm TRUE
Kelly: And Drive is also kind of a disturbing movie to base a fashion trend around, because of all of the horrific murder
Kelly: It doesn’t feel as weird though
Kelly: Because I guess it’s hard to make rape as cartoony as murder
Kelly: And the murder was very throw-away cartoony in that movie a lot of the time
Gabe: i guess everyone wants to look like a hipster who doesn’t care about life or death
Kelly: lighthearted murder
Gabe: right, fun murder
Gabe: i think the difference is literally the soundtrack
Kelly: hahah
Gabe: do you want to be a sociopath who listens to fun synthy pop music
Gabe: or a sociopath who listens to droning set pieces by Trent Reznor?
Gabe: that is the main decision facing today’s youth
Kelly: A choice every young woman has to make
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How long has Heart2Heart had 6 members?!?!
Hahahahahahaha.
“Eyebrows are for the bourgeois!” — The catchphrase of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.
But are they rape clothes or rape rape clothes clothes?
This goes very well with the picture above.
“Wednesday Fights”
REAL TALK: I first started reading this site because of Friday Fights and because of the way the texts were laid out, like:
Gabe: well, first of all, let’s tell people
Gabe: what they are
Gabe: and this is just one of the reasons i’m firing you
Gabe: but it’s not all of the reasons
…for a long time I pictured Gabe as an overweight person who had just run up a flight of stairs and couldn’t catch his breath.
Anyway, more like this!
Yes! Yesterday Lindsay put a link on her tumblepostblogr to the post from 08 when Gabe went to the Today Show with a Lindsay-made sign and it made me miss the double dogs and the Friday Fights. More indeed!
Also is there a counterpart where I can dress up like a journalist who sleeps with his coworkers and takes way to strong an interest in a case
I said to instead of too since I was so angry I couldn’t get a Daniel Craig peacoat, and perhaps Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz too would be nice
Isn’t it just a regular peacoat though? AREN’T THESE ALL JUST REGULAR CLOTHES THAT PEOPLE WHERE?
Oh, dang, I definitely said “where” instead of “where.”
DANG IT!
Does that come with a Daniel Craig bodysuit though?
AH! finallyyyyyyyy! the context for all these “steampunk” jokes people have been making!
So wait, those five girls in the background? They’re clones right? Or just the same girl photo shopped in over and over again? Please tell me that’s it.
I am laughing so hard I’m frightening the dog.
I was just going to make a point that you should still post, even if your Gabe is firing himself.
this makes me wonder why they didn’t make a clothing line from other grim horror-thrillers more condusive to design and textiles…
goodbye horses, I’m flying over you
flying flying flying over you
Ideal wardrobe for a great big phat person.
YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT PAIN IS!!!!
In case you’d like to order any of these outfits, you can ask for them by name:
You missed “Halfway Normal” girl in the middle.
I’m going as Fisherman David Bowie for Halloween!
Is it wrong that calling something “Fisherman David Bowie” makes me want to own all of it? Damn you, David Bowie, for being so awesome!!
So I guess Alexander Wang just didn’t want to do a diffusion line for them?
FASHION BURN! *twirl*
I’m sort of terrified that this is the before shot in a new Dermablend ad
“I should have predicted this.”
I saw the original girl with the dragon tattoo movie and thought it was hella lame
Wait, did Gabe just fire himself?
Side note: So thrilled we have a new iteration of the Friday Fights! Those were some of my favorite features back when the site started.
“Here, take these freshly exsanguinated models and stylishly wrap them in these leather straps and electrical tape with a quickness. Take this switch to them if they begin to stir. When I’m through with snapping my photographics for my clients, we’ll lug the bodies up to my posh loft and defenestrate the bodies out on the balcony overlooking the hedge maze.”
i can’t help but read this with a wiseau-esque accent.
Yesterday a guy in Manhattan asked me if I was from Sweden. That I was dressed EXACTLY like the androgynous one second from our right confused me at the time but now makes perfect sense.
That it happened directly in front of the church where they discover the NATIONAL TREASURE just makes the moment absolutely perfect.
badidealeatherleggings, more like!
you should probably tell us where the National Treasure church is so we can make a pitstop on our way to the One Tree Hill house.
Are sociopaths are the new fashionistas or are fashionistas the new sociopaths? Mmmmm?
ugh will goth never die?
“or is it just for girls who wish they were better at hacking into Photoshop or whatever”
Cool, people still use AIM 3.0.
BNPG? Reasons Gabe fired Kelly:
- Birdie has been in 0 petting zoo top tens
- He realized that the troll was right about Ricky Gervais and wants to write all the posts
Good feature great feature nice job!
I get the sense that Gabe fires Kelly in every conversation they ever have?
Also I would like to request more of these “Behind the Scenes” chats, please.
So basically its just Derilicte 2.0?
I just spent about 20 minutes looking for pictures of people wearing shirts as pants in regards to lady on the left. But I couldn’t find anything! Wasn’t this a thing for a while? People would wear ridiculous baggy sweaters as pants and try to make it look hipster-y, for fun? Or have I been on the internet too long?
They missed the Silence of the Lambs market. Better remake the movie so appropriate clothing lines can be marketed.
http://www.cc2biz.com