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Wiggity-wiggity-wack!
Wassup dudes and dudettes, check out this hip new webspace that is STRICTLY 5 TEENS. It’s called ChatAboutJesus.com and it’s NO ATHEISTS ALLOWED! Da bomb! Check out this fresh ad for the homepage, my word is my bond, and you can also watch this video streaming on your XBOX probably, I think some kids know how to do that. Radical!
You might think that God doesn’t love you, but Brad says that he does. So stop listening to heavy metal and black rap and start getting in touch with Our Lord and Savior. If you think Batman has what it takes to clean up Arkham Asylum, you should see what God can do with the human heart! Pro-Tip: hold an acoustic guitar in your avatar. (That goes for every website, not just ChatAboutJesus.com.) Vitamin Water! (Via @EugeneMirman.)
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How do I know??
MAGIC!
“how do u know?”
Cut it! Cut to black!
And remember, teens: if all your sexts are anal, you’re still technically saving yourself for marriage.
I can’t say I’m entirely proud of this.
I can.
what if you are a virgin , but have done every thing else ? and what aren’t you proud of ??
As an adult with needs, I like to hang out at ChatAboutEros.com.
Ashleymadisonofgod.com
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
Is it as obvious to everyone else that this guitar kid is definitely trying to get in this girl’s pants?
Thats why 97% of guitars are purchased. The other 3% are because the first ones broke.
the other 11% because I’m not very good at math
So what does it mean when he wants me to be the “tambourine player?”
Jesus love you! And by Jesus I mean my penis.
you have biblical names for your genitals too?
I call mine Methuselah
I call mine “Wall Street”
#occupywallstreet
I hope that someone reminds that girl that if she has amazing sex, Jesus will kill her father.
why did he wait 5 minutes to respond to her at first? what a JERK
“So wh4tvr u w1sh th4t 0thrz wou1d do 2u, do also 2 them, 4 th1s z the L4w N the Pr0phets.”
- M4tt 7.12
ChatAboutJesus.com Protip: Jesus will never ask you to bring a pack of wine coolers, some McDonalds and condoms to a prayer meeting.
True story – I know a girl who is living with a guy that was featured on To Catch a Predator. He says it was ‘entrapment’ when he showed up to a 13yo girl’s house with a sex toy.
To be fair, he probably thought it was really going to be a 13yo girl.
Don’t be so hard on the girl’s choices. After all, she’s only 11. *** ZING ***
“He says it was ‘entrapment’ when he showed up to a 13yo girl’s house with a sex toy.”
and that’s not even the weirdest part of your story. who shacks up with a sex offender? “But he’s never late with the rent and we have the same taste in movies”–that girl
I know… this girl already looks like jail bait because she’s short and less than busty. Then she moves across the country to be with a 40-something she knows has a problem with monogamy (he was married when he was busted) and likes children.
gaahhhh, THAT girl!
so is he awkwardly flirting or not? Maybe it’s for the best that she ignored his declaration of love.
But “Brad would say God loves you?” Are we making fun of Brad, or do we agree, because you can just say “God loves you.”
Also, no real teenager uses ‘their’ correctly.
I’d like to chat about Jesus, too. I payed him 20 dollars, like I do every week, but this week the lawn looks MAYBE 1/2 mowed and there are weeds all around my prize-winning hydrangeas.
Christ.
Madonna doesn’t like hydrangeas.
http://static.ulike.net/img/01_Madonna_con_Bambino..jpg
exquisite.
I can’t wait until the Hallmark Channel special undercover investigation, To Catch An Athiest.
I heard they were going to start a show called, “To Catch A Hypocritical Christian”, but they realized they’d need to create an entire new channel to do it justice so they put it on the back burner.
That girl looks way too happy to be thinking her god doesn’t love her.
Looks like this will replace SmarterChild as the preeminent teen counselor
Is anyone attempting to chat about Jesus and stuff?
I know some Christians, the kind who quote specific verses and are super-upbeat all the time, and think Catholicism is a cult, and got married when they were 22 because that was long enough to go without trying sex, thanks. And of everyone I know (except maybe people in bands) they are absolutely the most concerned about appearing to be cool. At all times. They put just gobs of effort into it, I mean they live and breathe the effort. What I am trying to say is, they all hold guitars in their avatars.
This is correct.
and god in their hearts. god in their hearts.
I don’t know, you guys. I’ve got some mixed feelings about this one.
On the one hand, as an atheist, this seems pretty silly and ripe for laughs. But at the same time, being a teenager can kinda suck sometimes. From these ads, it seems like this website is mostly just reaching out to kids having a tough time of it.
they do know that instead of setting up chat rooms, its much, much easier to stop telling them they’ll go to hell for being gay right?
“You might think that God doesn’t love you, but Brad says that he does.” Correction, Brad says he probably does. Don’t get this girl’s hopes up, Gabe.
I guess I don’t get what is ridiculous about this. Don’t get me wrong most everything that Christians make to try to seem cool come out as complete shit. This just seems like a place like minded people can go to chat about something. It seems kind of like what we do in the comments.
Full disclosure: I am Christian so maybe that has something to do with it.
The humor/ridiculous part comes from the fake/sample conversation in the video. I know I’m laughing at the marketing for the site, not Christianity in itself.
Wait, who’s Brad! Is he like Tom from Myspace?
THANK YOU! that was my first reaction. Why does it matter what Brad thinks? Why is Brad so important?
so many questions, not enough answers.
You guys! I changed my avatar to a pic with an acoustic guitar… and now Jesus loves me!
It must be hard to find time to play, being a maritime lawyer and all
Batman is so terrible at cleaning up Arkham that it has gone from being an asylum to being an entire city.On a less important there is totes a god you guys.