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Look, I think we can all agree that the time has come for a movie about a vampire dog. Clearly. The vampire thing that is going on right now is great and it hasn’t been going on long enough and hopefully it will keep going on forever, but if that’s going to happen, and I definitely hope it does and am for sure not being sarcastic, then we’re going to need to find ways to grow and expand the vampire canon. Dogs is a great first step. Vampire dogs, yes. You can just hear the sigh of relief in Hollywood. “Phew.” That’s what it sounds like. “Thank fucking God for this. Melody, can you get in here and close my office window. I have decided not to jump. Thank you movie idea in which a dog is a vampire.” The name is also super good. Vampire Dog. Got it. You got it? You got it. We all got it right away. You’re locked in. It’s our generation’s Snakes on a Plane (but without all the swearing, I hope). But here’s the thing, what is that tag line? “All Bark…and No Bite.” What? Even regular dogs who are not vampires are known to bite sometimes. But a dog that is a vampire? That thing would be biting like crazy! It just doesn’t make any sense. If anything, a vampire dog would be all bite and no bark, because a vampire dog wouldn’t even bark very much, because vampires are sexy, and barking is not. (I’m assuming the dog in this movie is going to be pretty fuckable. It is a vampire.) It’s like, do the writers of Vampire Dog even know anything about dogs or vampires much less a dog that IS a vampire? It doesn’t seem like it. Obviously, the poster is finished and there’s not much we can do about it now. I just hope this doesn’t actually translate into serious story problems in the actual movie, which I will definitely be seeing, either on opening night, or possibly from the comfort of my own home for 60 dollars, Tower Heist style. It was worth it for Tower Heist and it’s worth it for this. But that vampire dog better bite everything, or I am going to be so pissed. No bite…so pissed. That is the tagline for my movie: Regular Human. (Click through to enlarge. Via IWatchStuff.)
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The real tragedy is that Vampire Dog can’t look at his reflection in the mirror and then wonder how that other dog got in his apartment. There goes like 40% of his day.
Hell yeah there is something worng with this poster, where are the sunglasses?!
No duh, they fell off its head because it’s UPSIDE DOWN. #Gravitygum
Team Vampire Dog.
You just know that somewhere in Hollywood there’s a screenwriter who has been hard at work for months on a screenplay called “Count Dogula” that just heard about this movie and is now looking up “How To Tie A Noose” on About.com
Was NosFuratu already taken?
LOL!! yooooo ahaha tha fvck!?!?
Is Vampire Dog only going to turn into a vampire when there’s a full moon like the one on the poster? Because if so, somebody’s got their monster myths confused.
Also, great title, “Vampire Dog” writers. You clearly put a lot of effort into that.
They probably wrote it as “Werewolf Dog” but were told last minute that it made no sense.
Vampire Dog 2: Werewolf dog
Dogga Darko
It’s probably about a self-hating vampire dog who doesn’t want to inflict its horrible, permanent vampire dog fate upon the lucky non-vampire dogs. And it barks a lot.
I think I fixed it
poor movie must fuck like vampire dog shit
“That pizza has garlic on it? Hmmm… I’ll still eat it.” — Vampire Dog
mmmmmmm stake
From the tagline writers of Vampire Dog, comes:
Vampire Cat
Watch out fellas…This Kittens got no Claws.
I’m already so excited about next year’s installment in the franchise!
Me too!
I’d pay to see that.
I think I’d pay to see all of these.
I’m more of a psychological thriller type of guy
Wow, this is so perfect.
HAHA! very nice.
i want to play
Who do you think would win in a fight between Vampire Dog and Cool Dog?
(cc Michael Vick)
Alpha Dog
This movie filmed in my city! A friend dropped by the set. I think the tag line makes sense because the dog doesn’t actually bite PEOPLE. He’s a vampire, but instead of blood lust he lusts after red jello.
I know, that sounds fully retarded. But that’s what they told her.
So yeah, BEST MOVIE EVER.
What the heck?
How does he communicate his lust for cherry jello? Cherry jello is not the sort of thing dogs are fed usually
THAT JUST RAISES FURTHER QUESTIONS!
CAN DOGS EVEN OPERATE A REFRIGERATOR???
THAT IS AN EXAMPLE OF ONE OF THE QUESTIONS SUBSEQUENTLY RAISED
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
Yo. Take some of these ibuprofen, we need to get the fever down.
I vunt to kees your face!
This is dumb, everyone knows the perfect Halloween dog movie has already been made.
Trust me, you’ll want to spend extra for the Blu-Ray.
Why the hell isn’t Vampire Dog a Bloodhound. So many missed opportunities.
so will the dog be biting other dogs and turning those dogs into vampires or will he be biting humans and turning them into vampires because this is a very important detail for me
A DUCK is the president of the united states!!???
Coming July something.
I mocked up an image of that Ashton Kutcher fangirl’s back tattoo but instead of Ashton Kutcher it said “Vampire Dog”. I also added some other things. Notwithstanding how gross it was that I just performed virtual tattoo-removal surgery on someone’s back, i also accidentally deleted the image. Additionally, it was of poor quality, especially in comparison to everyone above who are SICK WIT ‘HOTOSHOP (and potentially fecal strep it’s going around!). Congrats to everyone and goodnight. #vampiredog #vamps-dog.com
*who is…lest the grammar monkey comes and snatches me away tonight.
Bad Vampire Dog! No bite! NO BITE!
Near Bark
#BirdieforVampireDog
Also there’s a sunset BEHIND the full moon. I think that photo is fake.
needs more bunnicula.
#celerystalksatmidnight
I still read this every Halloween (yes, I know it’s been mentioned in this thread but LOOK at that rabid bunny’s face – 2 QEWT!):
Clearly he should have a hand in his mouth a la yojimbo and the tag line should be “Dogs don’t know it’s not bacon!”