Photos
As we all know, President Barack Obama was born in Kenya. He’s black, first of all. Black? Give me a break. Second of all, show us the birth certificate if he wasn’t. The REAL one — the one that says he was born in Kenya; then we’ll talk. Hah, GOTCHA! Ugh, anyway, while many of us gave up the birther fight after President Obama did release his long-form birth certificate, there are still a few (probably a lot, actually, but let’s move forward thinking that it’s only a few) holding onto the idea that the birth certificate was a fake, doy, of course. Among them are some of America’s greatest minds — Donald Trump for instance, and as it turns out also Rick Perry! NOOOO! NOT MY TWO FAVORITE THINKERS! In an interview with Parade Magazine, Perry discusses how Trump was able to convince him of this true fact. This, unfortunately, was not captured on video, but luckily Morning Joe‘s Willie Geist and Mark Halperin were able to provide us with a reenactment.
Perfect, just a perfect interview with lots of very smart things about it and nothing crazy or mind-blowingly nonsensical at all. How could Rick Perry possibly have a definitive answer about whether President Obama was born in America if President Obama has, for a fact, never seen Rick Perry’s birth certificate? HUH, “BARACK”? He’s just asking the questions that everyone else is afraid to ask. Also he had dinner with Donald Trump the other night, sooooo. But, just like Obama’s true origins, lots of true and real things that the public has a right to know about get covered up on a daily basis. Take for instance these true and real quotes senselessly left out of Rick Perry’s Parade interview:
- “I’m not sure birth control is a substance — my views on it are incomplete at the moment, there is no way to be sure that I’ve seen as of yet, but for now my stance is that it is not a substance and all non-substances should be looked into more deeply.”
- “It’s a piece of paper. All I’m saying is that I come across many pieces of paper ever day, and also pens. If I can put pen to paper and write ‘Birth Certificate,’ what’s to say President Obama couldn’t have done the same? That’s all I’m saying, though the fact remains that he is the President.”
- “I read the other night.”
- “Donald Trump said to me, ‘You’re fired.’ I said, ‘At dinner?’ He said — ‘It’s from my show.’”
- “I don’t know. I had dinner with the moon the other night.”
- “I don’t know. I had dinner with Kelly the other night. She said Kurt Cobain was murdered and told me to look at the suicide note, TWO DIFFERENT PENS.”
- “For breakfast, I had coffee and brushed my teeth. How do you think, for that, how would they know? That is all I’m saying on the subject.”
Let Rick Perry show you his birth certificate, Obama! TRUMP 4 PREZ! (Via Mediaite.)
 |
 |
I think you mean Rick Perry?
Im really confused.
She gets white people mixed up because of her RACISM.
Why did you keep spelling Rick Perry Mitt Romney Kelly?
Why did you keep spelling Donna Darko Donna Darko Ian?
Gabe seems to be mixing up Mitt Romney and Rick Perry.
Mind your own business, Facetaco.
I’m not saying Barack Obama is a gold digger, but he ain’t messing with no broke broke
Oh man, Morning Joe on Videogum? THIS IS LIKE THE CHOCOLATE COVERED PRETZELS OF THE INTERNET (i.e. my two favorite things combined. That is where I was going with that analogy, in case there were questions.)
In Kelly’s defense:
John Jackson: “It’s time someone had the courage to stand up and say: I’m against those things that everybody hates.”
Jack Johnson: “Now, I respect my opponent. I think he’s a good man. But quite frankly, I agree with everything he just said.”
John Jackson: “I say your three cent titanium tax goes too far.”
Jack Johnson: “And I say your three cent titanium tax doesn’t go too far enough.”
Jack Johnson: “Must I always be waiting for tax increases?”
To be fair to the birthers, I wouldn’t really find that birth certificate they released too convincing, either. I mean, if you believe that Obama is hiding his real birthplace from society, then why wouldn’t the government just make up a fake birth certificate as “proof?” I’ve seen Prison Break, I know how these things work!
Always make sure to be fair to the birthers.
Doesn’t anyone else find it just a little too convenient that the doctor who delivered him 50 years ago just happens to be dead now? Wake up, sheeple!
Do I believe that Rick Perry has a tiny penis? I don’t know, he’s never seen mine.
Do I believe that Rick Perry has a tiny penis? It depends what’s happening on the internet.
RICK PERRY HAS ALREDDY RELEASED HIS GIRTH CERTIFICIATE (SEE ABUV) WHERE IS YOURES THAT 0NE
“You don’t understand. There is no ‘long-form’ version in this case.”
Misidentification aside, what Perry said means one of two things. Either he’s a conspiracy nut, or he’s saying something he doesn’t believe to subtly let racists know he’s one of them. Either way, I just can’t wait for Mr. Cool President’s inauguration.
Because non-racists have plenty of rocks with the n word written on them, it’s how you can spot someone who isn’t a racist
Again, not to try to seem like I’m a birther, but there’s a difference between being a birther and being racist. You have to be an idiot to argue that Obama wasn’t born in America, but you don’t necessarily have to be a RACIST idiot.
Disagree. The idea that people would be questioning his citizenship under similar circumstances, but for his race, would be laughable. I don’t know if they think of themselves as racist, but I’m willing to bet that they’re not very introspective if they don’t.
Except that it DID happen before, with Chester A. Arthur. There was a controversy that he was born in Ireland, and then another that he was born in Canada.
Chester A Arthur was white?!!!!!
In a time when the Irish were routinely discriminated against.
We’ll have to ask Gabe sometime to tell us what it was like in those days.
But it helps.
Did Kelly just do a find/replace and not look at the results? I ask because the Most Commented post is now “Mitty Gervais Has Gone Completely Off The Rails”
KELLLLYYY FIIIXXX THIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSS
I was wondering why the main character was suddenly named Mitt Grimes in Gabe’s review.
…of The Walking Dead. Let’s finish the joke before hitting reply, FLW.
Don’t feel bad, we all sometimes