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Hey, we all have our bugaboos. We’ve already been over this. Some people are scared of open spaces and some people are scared of closed spaces. It’s fine. At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to make it through the day without crying. Unfortunately, some of us make the choice to go on reality TV shows where they make us confront our fear directly, at which point crying is kind of inevitable, and if you don’t cry, the producers probably rub sand in your eyes or something. They’ll get the shot they need, don’t you even worry about it. Case in point: this dude named Marvin who is covered in FACE TATTOOS and looks like an ACTUAL MONSTER but whose biggest fear is ADORABLE PUPPIES. This whole clip is just golden (retriever) (BOOM!) (GOODNIGHT!).
I love when she says “you are not a coward, Marvin.” Uh, yes he is. I mean, let’s be honest, he kind of is? No offense, Marvin. Normally, of course, I wouldn’t be so bold as to insult a man like this, but I have a secret weapon. LOCK AND LOAD! (Via WarmingGlow.)
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First?
Worst!
Second?
Best.
Drive.
Peanut!
I was worried someone was going to say something other than best, so I just said it myself. “Couldn’t have said it better myself!” – me.
“I could never understand why people were so pissed at Michael Vick.” – Marvin
I’ll bet Marvin would also really hate the idea of breakfast with the Disney princesses.
NOOO!!!!!!!!!!! *sobbing* I wanna go to Chattanooooooga!
I kind of feel bad for him, it seems like a dog bit him when he was 5, I can understand that being traumatic.
I mean haha that guy is afraid of being cuddled to death
Yeah. It’s so sad, but I couldn’t help laughing every time they cut to the puppy just sitting there all cute and harmless.
I literally kept thinking I WILL LET THAT PUPPY EAT MY FACE if I can snorgle its belly.
You learn something new about Aaron Neville every day.
Everyone’s afraid of something. You’re scared of puppies, but they’re scared of wate–
Oh. Hm. Well they’re almost always afraid of vehic–
Dammit. What are puppies afraid of?? I mean, besides getting embarrassed on the Internet.
Don’t forget about the dreaded vacuum cleaner… Marvin just needs to carry a Dyson with him at all times.
Um, when did my dog learn how to drive a car?
I can’t understand why anybody would be terrified of something meant for children.
http://warehouse.carlh.com/article_075/oz_17.jpg
http://cdn.videogum.com/files/2009/12/fred.jpg
FACETACO I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS. WHYYYYYYYY
LBT, it’s dangerous to go alone. Take one of these.
Two of the pictures didn’t make it, but think Return To Oz and Fred, and you’ll get the gist of it.
That first picture could literally end wars. After everyone is done “I’m pooping” themselves, they would all bond over just the common fear of that picture.
WHY DO ALL YOU WEIRDOS HATE CLOWNS? They are just assholes in make-up…like the Real Housewives! They are just people! and the only people to fear are people with guns, power, or dark ski- leather jackets.
And clowns. You forgot clowns.
Here’s the thing with clowns: what kind of people would want to be clowns? Not “Entertainer” clowns…we’re not talking about Red Skelton or the original Bozo…public entertaining is fine.
I mean your regular, run-of-the-mill, I want to be in make-up, around children’s birthdays, as-much-as-possible-clowns. What kind of people choose to do that?
A: Creepy people.
Creepy losers. Clowns should be pitied… not feared. (the fear is what gives them power!)
Still creepy either way though. It’s hard to pity someone that I immediately suspect is carrying a chloroform soaked rag.
Mr. Marbles!
I suppose I’m not that surprised that, what with 7 billion people in the world, there is one person out there who is my complete and utter opposite, but I am a little surprised that he got plucked from obscurity before me.
If being a guest blogger on videogum is not being plucked from obscurity I do not know what is
Pretty much the only way to get yourself noticed around here is to offend everyone with a single sentence (or a whole bunch of comments, “the guiltyb0b method”) or, I guess you could facetaco the shit out of every comment thread?
Not cool, mailman. I thought we were bros.
Listen, friend. You have puppies. I have sunflowers. Everybody got a gris-gris.
dark water. dark water that i can’t see the bottom of and i can’t touch the bottom of and what the hell is that touching me get it off of me what if it pulls me down under water and i drown here? i could drown here i this dark, cold water or get eaten by a fish while i rot at the bottom of this cold, dark, water full of evil. GET ME OUT OF THE WATER.
Florescent lighting.
moths
You too? I thought I was the only tattoo faced monster scared of puppies!
-Rick Genest
Not to get too seriousgum, but I sympathize with this guy. I have OCD which doesn’t make me afraid of puppies in general, but I do have MANY irrational fears. It is a 24 hour struggle, but I am able to laugh at myself 90% of the time.
It is silly to see a grown man who has a very tough appearance cower away from an adorable puppy but when I think of some of the things that send me into a panic, it is equally as illogical.
i think my big phobia is of people with phobias…i cant watch this, or intervention, or horders or animal horders, or any show about disorders without getting nervous and wanting to cry. AH…yeesh. i cant do it.
Growing up, I was terrified of cats, frozen in place can’t even think scared. I didn’t get over it until senior year of high school. A few years later youtube happened and I am very glad that I can enjoy all the cute animal vids and gifs anxiety attack free. My point is, it gets better Marvin.
Also: no matter how rad your tat is, I just don’t see how you can be a badass with a name like Marvin.
If this guy can’t fulfill his puppy immersion therapy, I’d to volunteer myself in his stead.
True story: A week or two ago I was walking my very non-threatening dog (lab-beagle mix, even as a grown up dog he looks like a 3 month old yellow lab puppy) in Portland. I was doing recon shopping for my nephew, whom I’m currently meeting for the first time and am ABSOLUTELY SURE wants to be called Stormageddon: Dark Lord of All. Anyway, I go to this super twee baby store to get him wooden music toys that are age-appropriate but also able to be interesting at least until 5 or so. This prissy woman won’t let my dog into the empty store because the dog may scare the children — apparently the store has many invisible children shopping there at the time. I leave in a huff because fuck her, my dog is cleaner and cuter than any human offspring. Looked EVERYWHERE for what that store was selling, failed miserably, had to go back. As I was explaining I was buying loud music toys for a child that would only be able to use them long after I was on the other end of our continent she mentioned that she just doesn’t like animals. So I said “Yes I know. You kicked my dog out. I wasn’t going to shop here because of it but five other stores ran out of what you’re selling.”
So my point is that Stormageddon is really cute and likes the toys. Also: that woman sucks. Also: My dog is the best. Also: I really wish my brother and sister-in-law watched Dr. Who so they’d understand that Stormageddon is a fantastic baby name.
Is this an SNL skit? Like, seriously, why haven’t they done this yet?
Is he only afraid of puppies? not afraid of full grown dogs? I don’t get it.
This video was really hard to watch.
I tried getting treatment for my dog phobia and I quit, it was just too hard. I wish I could go hiking and stuff but I can’t. I feel bad that they made Marvin touch it!
That’s what she said?
Yeah, that’s what she said.
That part of the park is like, two blocks away from my house, I walk past it all the time. Wish I had walked by this one day. “You’e gonna have to touch the dog before you leave.”