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I’m going to be honest with you: not a great week for movie trailers. Apparently there are trailers for a new Madonna movie and also the directorial debut of Angelina Jolie, but both of those have been taken down by The Movie Trailer Police, because apparently I guess you don’t want to let too many people hear about your movie or else they might actually get interested and go to see it. Yikes. It’s called marketing, dummy. There is a war movie with Christian Bale and the trailer for Piranha 3DD and a couple other things. You can check them out if you want to, I’m just being honest that we’ve seen better weeks. Would it have been better if I had lied? And then what would we have left? A shattered world. And four mediocre trailers. MMMOOOOVIEESSSS!
Flowers of War
This looks very serious. HAHHAHAHAHA. I am the new Roger Ebert. Do you guys ever feel like I’m TOO insightful?
Chronicle
I’m worried that this will not be very good. Because it looks pretty good! And also Vince Howard! But somewhere between it being an MTV Movies movie, and also the general overuse of “found footage” in the culture at the moment, and also the difficulty in creating entirely new mythologies in the span of an hour and a half, I just, I don’t know. Fingers crossed? I’ve got my doubts!
London Boulevard
So this is basically In Bruges 2: OH YEAH! where Kiera Knightley plays Vincent Chase, right? Right. Fair enough. Give a gangster an English accent and I think we’re all pretty much on board.
Piranha 3DD Teaser
I didn’t even watch this trailer. Was it good? I hope it was good! This stuff is just not for me. That’s OK, that’s why God made there be billions of people. So that some of them would want to watch Piranha 3DD.
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I’m gonna make a found footage movie about some people who are going through found footage to find footage for their own found footage movie. Then they find the porn film that Bucky Larson’s parents were in, and seven days later a little girl kills them the end.
What about the new Sherlock Holmes 2 trailer?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td2Zjdjqhhs
Guys, I’m worried about Mark Brendanawicz.
More like Mark Brendanoquitz
Today will be forever remembered as the day we refer to Michael B. Jordan as “Vince Howard” and not “Wallace.”
This is a good summary of my emotions while reading this comment:
As much as I dislike the shaky-cam found footage genre it’s cool to see a movie where youths with powers actually abuse them like most immature people would; Peter “With Great Power Comes Money and Girls” Parker is the only other example I can think of.
GABE THE PIRANHA TRAILER IS JUST SCAT PORN WHY DIDN’T YOU WATCH IT FIRST??!!
Maybe they took down the Madonna one because it’s that incoherent mess of a movie she made where she thanked Leni Riefenstahl in the credits and spelled her name wrong. LOL, Madonna!!
The only good thing about Yahoo’s ad after the trailer format is the game I play by trying to hit the stop button as close as I can to the end of the trailer before it switches to the ad.
Apple just released a new “iTunes Movie Trailers” app a week or so ago, so maybe all the good trailers are there now?
Siri, buy me the new iPhone.
“Patrick, get a job”
London Boulevard looks more like Snatch 2 to me, right down to the hip music. That said, I’m intrigued
I like London Boulevard, because I like to imagine that all of these dirty London crime movies (Snatch, Lock Stock, In Bruges, The Limey, all of Michael Caine’s early career) take place in the same shared universe, and that one day they’ll be composited into a gigantic epic of British gangster. The Lorryiad, or something.
The extra D stands for Dogshit.
”
” – The Hoff
Christian Bale? Check.
Brutal Deaths (including those of children)? Check.
Apocalyptic scenery?Check.
Consider this movie watched.