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Let me begin by saying that it must be incredibly frustrating to be an artist and feel like you have no control over the way in which your art is used. Like if you were a painter and nobody was buying your paintings but then your WORST ENEMY was like, “I’ll give you $100,000 for that painting.” And it’s like, ugh, it is my worst enemy, but I could really use that $100,000. And then you sell it to them and they display it prominently at a party they throw to raise money for a cause they know you don’t support. Or if you make jewelry and sell it on Etsy and Kathie Lee buys some and wears it on Today and talks about how she got it through you, and kind of makes it seem like you just gave it to her when in reality she bought it herself and it has nothing to do with you. And you’re like uuggghh, I don’t even like Kathy Lee! Or if you’re Adam Levine and Fox News plays clips of your band Maroon 5′s music in-between segments, which is what this story is about. Frustrated, Adam Levine took to Twitter, the designated place to solve all music licensing disputs, tweeting: “Dear Fox News, don’t play our music on your evil fucking channel ever again. Thank you.” Polite enough for me, but clearly not polite enough for Red Eye‘s Greg Gutfeld and Andy Levy.
BOOM! YOU’VE BEEN RED EYE BURNED, ADAM LEVINE! Did you see when Andy Levy was pretend not sure of the number in your band’s name? Did you hear when Greg Gutfeld said your music is under the crap category on iTunes? Did you feel how the whole conversation was a little off and weird feeling sometimes, but sometimes it flowed normally and you’re not really sure why that is? Like sometimes there was a delay between them and sometimes there wasn’t? And it made everything a little awkward? DIDJA SEE, ADAM LEVINE!? To be honest, though, I do kind of appreciate them playing Maroon 5 after he requested that they didn’t. But I think it maybe would’ve been funnier if they just acted like they liked it? And that’s why they were playing it? I don’t know, I’m certainly no comedy writer for Fox, but I’m just saying if Fox needs a writer to sort out their burnfest comedy segments I’m open to the possibility. Also: Adam Levine, maybe talk to your record label or music licensing/publishing company? Or whatever? I think this is something that can be dealt with in a real way, unless this is all just a clever stunt to support the new season of Survivor that you host, LOL? I don’t know, guys. I can’t be everything to everyone. I can only be either Red Eye‘s comedy writer OR Adam Levine’s legal assistant. Best offer wins! (Via Mediaite.)
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If they can’t play Maroon 5, how about Matchbox 20?
If they wanna play Matchbox 20, well they will, well they will.
I see your Matchbox 20, and raise you Powerman 5000? Is that how we’re doing this?
This reminds me of that time Hitler attacked Russia and you just wanted them both to lose but you had to root for Russia because Nazis.
“Stalin — he’s always wearing that hat because he’s insecure … and balding.” -Hitler
“well, @hitler u only got a mustache 2 hide your hairlip!” – @Stalin
RT @hitler // @Stalin #uwishuwereme
“@FDR bet u didn’t see that comin!” -@t0j0
“TWITTER FIGHT!” – the Huffington Post
@hitler anyone know why #alliesfail is trending?
“@Hitler we kool now, rite?” – qui$1ing
“w3 5h4LL ph19h7 0N 73H 834ch35, W3 5h4lL pH19h7 0N 73h L4nD1N9 9r0Und5!” — cHuRchH1Ll
@hitler: @Bmussolini #FF
RT @hitler // ONLY ME. #FF
“Hey guys? Have you seen this awesome cat video?” – @THEswitzerland
@hitler: RIP Steve Jobs
@hitler dont listn 2 @stalin, u r better dan dat!” -LarsVonT
DM @larsvont *fist bump*
I’ll just leave this right here.
More like
THREAD HUG.
Nice.
If you can’t see the comedy in this you must be third eye blind.
Well, you certainly don’t need an Eve 6 sense.
I think that about sum 41s it up.
Blink 182!
Stroke 9, “Little Black Backpack”
UB40!
THREAD OF THE WEEK AWARD. C’mon, we all agree this is the thread of the week. Let’s give it an award already.
Spike Scream, help us out?
No, U b 40!
Well, uh, 1Q84!
*runs behind bookshelf, down into parallel world underground*
Just 5 more days, feartie. Unless you can read Japanese, in which case you could have started it two years ago and reached maybe the halfway point by this now.
I still think that nasty woman reporter would let Adam Levine get to 3rd Base.
The comedy here’s less subtle than an M80 missile.
83. Fuck. Good thing this isn’t Sterogum.
THREAD HUG PART 2.
“I’m pooping.”
You do not even want to know the results of the swab test.
Good to see Gilbert Gottfried landed on his feet.
man, even when i agree with them, Fox News personalities come off like condescending assholes.
Ostensibly I agree with them too, but I don’t believe them for a second. Those dudes TOTALLY like the Maroon 5.
Maroon 5 vs. Fox News
Whoever wins, she will be loved
I’m sorry but “Chris Martin called and thanked him for making Coldplay seem edgy” is a pretty sick burn.
Although, in Levine’s defense, would someone who wasn’t edgy have all these AWESOME TATTOOS????
“DING DONG. Mr. Cool Tattoo.” -Dabe Gelahaye
“Uh, yeah, it’s Sanskrit for The Worst.”
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew make me unsee it
That’s crazy! My spirit animal is also an eagle that transports nipples.
I totally agree. I was like, “if that’s not a great burn, then I don’t know what a great burn sounds like.”
There’s nothing to be sorry about. That was actually very funny.
The guy on the right is the one who gave that AMAZING “apology” to Chris Brown a few months ago. This does not seem as well thought out.
So I was googling Maroon 5 song names, but stumbled upon the fact that they sing “Moves Like Jagger” a terrible song I heard on the radio recently.
Does this guy honestly think he has moves like Jagger? Bah humbug.
Maybe he’s just trying to hook up with Ke$ha.
I think this is all somehow part of a plan by Maroon 5 to sell out to Cloverleaf. Well played, Mr. Levine.
Really? Not ONE of you fuckers picked up on this Roger Rabbit reference? You disappoint me…
Don’t you mean “You disap-p-p-p-Point me”?
I believe one man and one man only has earned the right to the term “Megaburns.” And that is Civil War general Ambrose Burnside. I’ll not have you sullying his good name with references to FOX News.
You forgot the OTHER MegaBurns.
Fuck me, here come the nightmares again.
No but seriously, this image is like high-octane, weapons-grade nightmare fuel
Is that Ron Swanson’s great great grandfather?
This is almost as fraught as that time Edwin McCain had himself confused with John McCain.
I remember that. He was always crying on my shoulder about it.
Or when Rob Thomas (creator of Veronica Mars) gets confused with Rob Thomas (singer of Matchbox 20).
That is the second post where I referenced Matchbox 20 today. I’m going back to sleep.
That’s what you get for getting up at 3 AM.
0:52 – incorrect usage of the word “literally.” god damn it…
It literally drives me insane when people do that.
Ask Chris from Parks and Rec about the correct usage of the word literally.
” Litch-rlly “
this is so poorly staged. these guys need to take line-reading lessons from Jay-Z
I wish Fox News would play nothing but Maroon 5, that way everything I don’t like would be contained in one convenient, ignorable spot.
Almost related: Maroon 5 is my not-so-guilty music pleasure. Guy can sing!
I share your pain. They had some good jams on that first CD they put out. Then again, I own the greatest hits of Phil Collins, Air Supply, and Journey, so Maroon 5 is pretty low on my shame list.
Sunday Morning.
This is the same argument that people use when defending insufferable jam bands. Yes, you are a very good guitar player. That doesn’t necessarily mean I want to hear a ten minute solo.
Phish!
(Counterpointed!)
Also, I think it’s funny that this comment is at +7 while it would be at -15 on Stereogum.
Hahaha I know this is obvious and all, but PEOPLE STILL CONSIDER THIS A NEWS CHANNEL.
MORE LIKE an elementary school news channel!
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“This music is crap! Absolutely awful accompaniment for my hip rock and rolling dance moves!”
- Literally anyone at FOX
The Real Maroonfives of News Corp.-y.
Best thread is a tie between the “tweeting historical figures” and the band names. Loved ‘em both.
I agree, let’s make this “Thread of the week award” happen. Use your nepotistic connection!
The female on-air personality was the least convincing of the three of them at pretending s/he didn’t know who Adam Lavine was or why he was famous.
This was the guy who was on Louie… and he managed to work in a Colplay burn. Burnche, Fox News, burnche.
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And who better to represent the left than a bunch of musicians? Must be hard to undermine those arguments…
why do you assume all the above listed musicians are left? Joe Escalante from the punk rock band The Vandals is actually outspokenly right of center.
Does Ed Helm channel Andy Levy for his Andy Bernard performance?
I think the most ironic thing is that their comedy routine was as well researched as their News…. There wasn’t even 7 SECONDS of truth. They are lucky they were called out in a tweet – I would have preferred to watch a 5 Knuckle Shuffle and 17 Stitches to make them go from Boyz 2 Men. Actually, I’d prefer a One Day Coma over watching Fox News…..