There’s a new series of “provocative” Gossip Girl print ads that are going to definitely make the kids go hmm, just as soon as the kids discover the joys of reading. Each ad features one of the main characters (but no Chuck Bass? Gossip Girl Ad Campaign FAIL) with an incendiary word graffitoed across their face. OMFG. The problem is that a lot of those words are kind of blandly important to someone who hasn’t watched the show, like a movie preview talking about betrayal, but to those of us who CARE (deeply), they imply plot developments that haven’t occurred yet. Thanks a lot, CW marketing team. It’s called a SPOILER ALERT. Look it up, and then use it.

After the jump, a look at the new posters, and some guesses as to what the words mean.

  • Nate cheats on Vanessa with an 80-year-old woman, known in the dating community as a saber-tooth.
  • Nate cheats on Vanessa because fuck Vanessa.
  • Nate cheats on Vanessa with the head of the Upper East Side chapter of the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program, because it somehow was the right thing to do.
  • Nate cheats on his biology final with an 80-year-old woman, known in the testing community as a saber-tooth.

Alternate Words: Noble, Charming, Best

  • It turns out that Blair is actually a robot set to “bossy.”
  • It turns out that Blair is actually a robot set to “spoiled.”
  • It turns out that Blair is actually a robot set to “awesome.”

Alternate Words: Sassy, Robot, Sassy Robot

  • Serena lies to Aaron Rose, telling him that she isn’t the worst person in the world.
  • Serena lies to Dan, telling him that she always cared about him, hiding the fact that she cares about nothing but herself.
  • Serena lies to herself, every day, when she leaves the gun in the drawer.

Alternate Words: Yuck, Gross, Worst, Kill Yourself

No spoilers here.

Alternate Words: Boring Loser, Annoying Loser, Big Loser

[images via JustJared, click images to enlarge]

Comments (7)
  1. John  |   Posted on Dec 3rd, 2008

    HBO’s Rome did this years ago and it was actually well done. Way to go by ripping them off Gossip Girl! Hire some marketing people that dont rip off other shows.

  2. hahhaha please tell me the FAKE for Blair Waldorf is because she faked an orgasm with Lord Limp Dick.

  3. Smurf Face  |   Posted on Dec 3rd, 2008

    Are you saying you don’t like Serena?

  4. Am I going to have to be the one to point out that a streaky white font is not the best choice to spray, I mean splay across peoples faces?

  5. shannon  |   Posted on Dec 4th, 2008

    I’m pretty sure those are Season One posters, lol. Especially considering the shots they used and the fact that Nate cheated and Serena lied way back in season one episode one.

    If they were posters for this season, Nate’s would say “Whore.”

  6. kingofkenya  |   Posted on Dec 4th, 2008

    Doesn’t Perez Hilton own the copyright to writing all over people with shitty white text?

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