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Par-tay! (Via BuzzFeed.)
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Looks like all his guests were left behind
looking at the ever-expanding guest list became a growing pain.
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Why don’t you learn to punctuate for god’s glory? God really appreciates it when his supporters don’t sound like morons in internet comment sections.
I hope that candle isn’t Fireproof
Aaand that about wraps up Kirk Cameron’s résumé.
Is NOT! LISTEN TO ME!!
Kirk Cameron (center) seen celebrating his birthday with his wife Chelsea (left), his daughter Isabella (right), and his best friend, God (top).
(God by default because Boner is no longer with us)
DAMN YOU GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH FOR MAKING IT SO HARD TO GOOGLE AN IMAGE OF BONER AT WORK!
I don’t know how you did it, but you did it. Meanwhile, I have a meeting with IT in an hour to discuss my “Usage.”
I wouldn’t recommend it with any combination of the words “growing,” “pain,” and “boner.”
I suddenly remember Andrew Koenig was Also in “My Two Dads” so I tried googling that with “Boner” and, well, I have a meeting with IT in an hour.
no one is sitting down because it explicitly states in leviticus that no man shall sit in a seat where a menstruating woman has sat. and women should never stand in front of a man.
as for the subway? shit, man, it’s Anytober. you expect him to pass up a $5 footlong?
One person only ordered a six inch. Why would they do that during Anytober?
maybe it’s for Jared?
New commandment: Thou shalt not make up excuses to avoid attending birthday parties for thy casual acquantainces of whom thou art not particularly fond.
Those two women are definitely ghosts, right? I mean, they look and stand and stare and dress like ghosts.
Even ghosts have better places to be than Kirk Cameron’s birthday party.
This is one of my favorite comments of all time. All the UpVotes for you, Superglue.
Okay guys, so, after cake, we’ll be going in the next room to make pottery.
good thing he blew out those candles! the cake isn’t fireproof.
first i rip off your comment, then my second comment was supposed to be a reply…that’s it…goodnight everyone, have a great weekend.
“The times when you have seen only two party guests, is when I decided to hold a cooler party at the same time.” – Jesus
What’s the over/under on how many embroidered throw pillows those three collectively own?
What is the character limit for a Videogum comment box?
i don’t know…there is something about putting a 5 dollar footlong in his mouth that makes Kirk feel like he’s sinning.
The lady in the doorway is looking in like, “Please let him choose the poisoned cold cut combo. Please let him choose the poisoned cold cut combo. Please let him choose the poisoned cold cut combo.”
If the rapture comes on Kirk Cameron’s birthday, who will be left behind… to eat those Subway subs?
there’s a surprising lack of Jesus in this photo.
Kirk’s finally the coolest guy in the room.
I am 100% sure the girl in the doorway is going to kill him.
I just burst into laughter at this and my evangelical office neighbor came to ask me what was so funny. I could not explain!!
Patrick M, you are absolutely 100% my favorite commenter, and this is the reason why.
I want to create fake accounts so I can upvote this more.
AMAZING!!!
I wish I could see whatever this is.
Are we sure this isn’t a still from Dogtooth?
Brrrruce…..Almighty.
Why does he look like he’s about to vomit stomach acid all over that cake, like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly?
That is one tacky ass room. How old is that table? Looks like some shit my grandmother has. And look at that god awful (no pun intended) carpet?!? LOL
i’m upvoting, because i feel like i’m not getting the joke, but i don’t want to seem like i’m not “in on it”.
Seriously… when and where was this picture taken? My guess is somewhere in the midwest circa 1992.
My guess is the hotel in the Shining.
“We have but four small loaves. But how far will they go to feed so many?”
Wow. When read in the right tone, the bible can be really sarcastic!
Or maybe this is the miracle in progress. They were six inch subs and people complained and Kirk Cameron turned them into footlongs.
No Sun Chips? There is no God.
I see cake. I see sandwiches. But no healthy side of fruit? Like, say, a banana?
The party planner really blew it in the drinks department.
Not to gloat too much, but I like my comment because it is like a sandwich of language devices: Two counts of alliteration with a pun in between (blew, as in the candles). Also, it’s seven feet long, I think, so…party sub!
I have absolutely no problem with everybody making fun of Kirk Cameron, but if I’m honest this might be the most normal I’ve ever seen a celebrity look. I mean sure it looks kind of sad, but that’s also how most of my pictures look.
stills from paranormal activity 3? do you have an app for that?
Does “camera” count as an app?
Wait, wait, sorry, I thought of a better answer:
“Oh, like all your family photographs look non-haunted?”
This doesn’t count as a celebration. Where’s Candace?
Some thoughts on why this is the most depressing birthday image I have ever seen, possibly the most depressing image of any kind.
That cake is tiny and shitty looking.
Subway? Ugh.
Is this a church basement? This is definitely a church basement.
Two versions of the same miserable woman are watching him from afar with bemused expressions. Why is that woman on the left standing behind a bunch of boxes?
I have never felt so bad for a failed actor turned crazy Christian until now.
“The wish I made that there was scientific proof of God already came true.”