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“He was like, ‘I enjoy things like this because I’m an actor 90 percent of the time and it’s fake. It’s nice to have moments that are real,’” — What Ashton Kutcher supposedly said to a young woman after having sex with her for the second time that night in a hotel penthouse on the eve of his sixth anniversary to his wife Demi Moore.
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Real men cherish their infidelity.
Wait, so 90% of the time he’s NOT a real man? Guys, I think he found a loophole!
At least he didn’t let 90% of the actor in him take over.
Oh, I beg to differ, Gabriel. The real bon mots of the piece:
“The last thing I remember him saying was he did a good job. We woke up and I was wearing a robe. He opened it up and I was like, ‘What are you doing?’ He was like, ‘Just checking. OK, I did good! You’re really pretty.’”
AN ADULT HUMAN SAID THAT.
Oopsies, my mistake. That quote is from an interview with The Sun (meaning it was published in The Sun, not that Kutcher fucked the sun…that we know of)
Haha, “piece.”
fake and straight
Maybe he’s a better fit for two and a half men then we thought…
“He was like, ‘I enjoy things like this because I’m doing coke off of strippers’ tits 90 percent of the time and they’re fake. It’s nice to have moments that are real,’” — What Charlie Sheen supposedly said to a Mcdonalds Employee after having sex with her for the second time that night on the deep fry, on the eve of the sixth anniversary of that time he got so high that he drank a bottle of pepto bismol”
So, essentially, Spread came true? I wonder if this girl is dating the owner of the New York Rangers?
We found him! We found the one guy that saw Spread! Or at least read the synopsis on the internet!
He should work on his acting because it doesn’t appear real.
He’s basically following Rob Lowe’s career trajectory. We should all find ourselves charmed by him by 2033.
I mean, I won’t make it, but all you guys: enjoy it
No, Rob Lowe was likable.
He just came up and kissed me,” the Texas native tells Us of Kutcher’s first bold move in the wee hours; minutes later, Leal, Kutcher and another young woman were completely nude and in a hot tub on the balcony.
“I didn’t think it was out of the ordinary,” Leal admits. “I wasn’t self-conscious about getting naked.”
She sounds great. They should circulate this story to people in Syria and say “See what we’ve done with our free press and money and attention span?”
I’m really happy she has found a way to tell her story to the world. This is very much a story that needed to be told to every single press outlet everywhere. So often bikini-clad 22-year-olds having sex with Hollywood trash are ignored or even shunned by contemporary society. Plus her sad face is amazing:
I’m not really sure why she’s sad as consensual sex between two adults seems more like a high-five scenario, especially if you’re bragging about it to a national magazine for money, but that photo should win a Pulitzer… no, it should win all of them.
I honestly never knew that there was someone in this world more loathsome than Ashton Kutcher and yet here she is.
UGH. The “press” (I use that lightly for Us Weekly) is THE WORST. This is not news. (Okay, that’s wishful thinking on my part.)