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Remember four seconds ago when Netflix raised its prices and everyone’s heads fell off as if somehow we had magically been transported to a world in which company’s providing convenient services didn’t raise their prices on a regular basis? And then remember two seconds ago when in response to all the heads rolling through the streets, Netflix announced that it would be separating its DVD mail-subscription service from its on-line streaming service by splitting into two companies with two separate websites? Well, that is over now, too. Netflix! Relax, buddy! From the email they sent their customers this morning:
It is clear that for many of our members two websites would make things more difficult, so we are going to keep Netflix as one place to go for streaming and DVDs.
This means no change: one website, one account, one password…in other words, no Qwikster.
While the July price change was necessary, we are now done with price changes.
Poor guys. That’s probably a fun office to work in this summer, right? Super light-hearted and fun, just a bunch of people doing what they love: scrambling for cost-saving ideas while warding off an increasingly infuriated customer base. Follow your bliss! In other words, LET’S BUY QWIKSTER! Guys, think about it. The name already has some brand recognition, right? We just pool our money, pick up the rights, and then….do something with it? Admittedly, I have not gotten that far. Like, what is our business? Doesn’t matter. It’s called striking while the iron is hot and apparently you only get one shot so you better lose your money mom’s spaghetti. You guys don’t even need to stress. Just send me all of your money and I will take care of the rest. Please email any questions or concerns you may have about this incredible business opportunity to Gabe_bigshot_CEO@qwikster.biz and start counting your profit$$$$$$!
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For some reason I lost it at “.biz”
#occupyqwikster
Qwikster could be like Netflix except for porn. You know, cuz it’s called Qwikster?
I’ll see myself out.
Maybe that’s what Qwikster would have become if Netflix hadn’t pulled out so early.
But I spent weeks on creating spam disguised as Qwikster account-related emails!
Yeah, something tells me that e-mail is fake
What gives you that impression?
Anyone of importance uses AOL
It’s posted on the Netflix website as well.
In related news, the NesQwik Rabbit is heartbroken at the loss of a new mascot deal. Returning home to his family, he looked sullen to his wife, her eyes full of hope, and simply shook his head.
I can’t believe how sad this makes me.
Can we monetize fast hipsters? Are there fast hipsters? I guess there must be, relative to slower hipsters.
Dear Monsters,
Considering that Netflix was split into two companies I went ahead and got the Blockbuster by mail free trial. Blockbuster is cheaper and they have a better disc selection but their website setup is horrendous. I also have Dishnet and upgraded to Blockbuster PlayNow. Their selection seems more current, but their website is even more horrendouser, which is a big drawback if you are a web-based service. I think it also works with the DishNet receivers, but I don’t have a compatible receiver, yet. My question to you guys is this, are any of you knowledgeable of both services? Which ones do I keep? Do I keep BB for discs and Netflix for streaming? Do I go all Netflix? Which seat do I take?
-Chris from Firstworldproblemland
I used to have the Blockbuster service. I liked that when you were done with a DVD, you could stick it in the mail or go trade it in at the store for another movie. I actually like going to video stores and browsing the shelves. I canceled it since I really wasn’t watching enough DVDs at the time to warrant the monthly fee. I have Netflix now, and I like it the same. Not sure if Blockbuster had the “Instant Play” at the time I was using them.
Or you could, you know, read a book. I hear they have a great all-in-one service called a “library.”
What’s their website?
amazon.com
But I’d rather give my money to Netflix because Blockbuster put so many local movie rental places out of business. And if they’re putting Blockbuster out of business, I’m okay with that. Also, I have no idea where a Blockbuster is in my new town.
And, when I was stuck in the suburbs many years ago and could only have access to a Blockbuster, Netflix gave me my foreign films and indie films that were absolutely not available, even if you asked the cranky teenager behind the counter to order them. I actually got into a fight with a Blockbuster manager after I had asked if they had the original Kubrick Lolita and he recommended the remake and said they were the same thing.
BLASPHEMY!! I would have smacked that manager with a remake Karate Kid DVD in the face for suggesting such a thing.
sorry, spent all my money on a really cool jacket (straight out of the motion pictures!)
I believe Jean Ralphio at Entertainment 720 is already purchasing this company.
Someone I know does work for Netflix (Silicon Valley, I pretty much know someone working at every big company even remotely related to tech) and while he didn’t talk about it in too much detail, updates from the office this summer were just flowcharts that said, “Is this a disaster? > Yes > Drink!”
Here’s what I would do with a recycled Quikster domain — create a social media site for video consumers. It would be
1) your video ratings and reviews, a la rateyourmusic.com or something.
2) video release previews that are focused on your taste (from #1)
3) a clearinghouse for all the video consumption options out there. So, for each movie, you get links to netflix (disc/streaming), Amazon (DVD purchase/streaming), iTunes, what have you. Since it’s actually difficult to keep track of what’s available where.
Now, go make millions. You’re welcome.
This is a good idea that I’m going to put into action immediately . . . right after I recover from the emotional exhaustion of dealing with all the Qwikster/Netflix drama.
Sounds like Sidereel (at least part 3).
Reed Hastings is the anti Steve Jobs.
And over on Twitter, the loveable, pot-smoking @Qwikster can finally get on with his life.