Photos
INT. DAN’S BROOKLYN APARTMENT — DAY
Dan walks into the kitchen with his head cocked to the side and sighs. His face makes it look like he’s playing out a conversation with someone in his head and he’s confused about it, but he isn’t doing that, he’s just making that kind of face for no reason like he always does even though it never makes any sense. He walks to the waffle iron. Should he make waffles? Hmmmm, I don’t know, SHOULD he make waffles? He pauses for a moment and picks up a copy of the New Yorker. He was chosen as the New Yorker‘s Best Writer and this month’s entire issue is devoted to him. He is appreciative but thinks the whole idea is silly, he wouldn’t even have a copy of the magazine had Vanessa not slipped it under his window while he was asleep. He glances at the cover before throwing the magazine down and shrugging:
DAN:
We Humphries love our waffles.
He picks up a bag of flour and dumps it into a bowl and starts mixing it with a wooden spoon, just mixing, mixing, mixing the flour. And then — BLAIR ENTERS! BLAIR: Humphry. Blair walks into Dan’s apartment while Dorota crawls in behind her. Dorota is carrying a sign on her back and a slightly comedic pained expression. DAN: Do they not have KNOCKING on the Upper East Side? BLAIR: Ha-ha, Dan. I have a favor to ask. Dorota stands and brushes herself off. Blair shoots her an annoyed glance. Dan continues to mix the flour. BLAIR (CON’T): You’re poor, correct? Dan looks a Blair like, “Classic Blair.” But the undeniable truth now and throughout each season of Gossip Girl is that, yes, he is poor. He glances around his destitute Williamsburg apartment, overlooking the bridge, and shakes his head to himself — perhaps not even realizing that others can see. He is ashamed. DAN: Yes, Blair. BLAIR: Well I [for some reason having to do with either a story for a magazine or some sort of society group she wants to join or something else that makes more sense] need to get this sign to the Occupy Wall Street rally. Will you do that? Dan, like Blair pretty much, has never heard of the Occupy Wall Street rally and it shows for a brief moment on his face. He tries to read the sign. “Bring back tho…Glass Stagee II AcII … No to cokorate Sreed!” He doesn’t know what it means but for some reason he is in love with Blair this season still and kind of never seems to have anything better to do than interfere with her business and offer to RUN AWAY WITH HER, so: DAN: Fine, Blair. But you owe me. BLAIR: Dorota? Dorota kneels before Dan and Dan gets on her, like a piggy back ride, and they ride off to Wall Street. Scene
A VERY GOOD SCENE! I don’t know why they deleted it. (Photo via Gawker.)
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I really just don’t get this whole “Occupy Wall Street” thing, but I like how they were totally overshadowed by Steve Jobs’ “Occupy Heaven” counter-maneuver. Score one for the CEOs.
Facetaco, you truly are the king of downvotes.
I do what I can.
iCan*
Clearly, Jamie Dimon and Lloyd Blankenfein need to start wearing black turtlenecks in order to get back in the public’s good graces
I would like to take this opportunity to mention Chuck saying “Ah, the return of Charlie Trout” in reference to Dan’s “novel.”
Haha, YES.
Glass seagulls? Sounds dangerous.
You forgot to mention Zoe Kravitz’s guest spot! Looks like she’s the new Vanessa. UGH!!!
DAMMIT. Now everyone knows I still watch Gossip Girl.
But you have an avatar from the greatest music video of all time, so we still love you.
This photo poses so many questions…
1. Why is he the only one yelling?
2. Why is his handwriting so girly?
3. Is that really him?
4. What do the Occupy Wallstreeters REALLY want? Its all sort of confusing to me. Perhaps Dan could write an essay about it for the New Yorker. It would help if he explained the whole thing through Charlie Trout’s eyes.
I’m guessing they want to occupy Wall Street.
Well played Mr. Taco.
5. Where can I submit my official request to bring back the Gossip Girl recaps?
On Wall Street. Why do you think everyone is so busy occupying it?
UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH
Um, where’s Gabe?
Occupying Wall Street.
Seriously, is he on leave or something? What did I miss?
He’ll be back on Monday!
.Lmao…
…
Best Buy giving out $1,000 giftcards http://goo.gl/FRWfB ..4 their 30th anniversary..next 24 hours only..got a laptop & a phone..lol
Wow, you already went to the website, claimed your gift card, RECEIVED the gift card, went to Best Buy, and bought some stuff with it? That was fast!
Not just “some stuff” Facetaco, a laptop & a phone..lol.
And Best Buy was founded in 1983, which would make this year their 28th anniversary. But a good deal is a good deal, so I’m clicking on the link.
If they can’t even count to 30 years, imagine what sort of mistakes they might make on that gift card! Ka-ching!
I thought they were giving away cards because they laid off employees. Now it’s because of their 30th anniversary that’s really their 28th anniversary?
Look, inetpimp, I know that inetpimping isn’t easy, but at least make it consistent and somewhat accurate.
Now please excuse me as I got out for lunch with my older boyfriend who thinks the same as me.
They’re having that Occupy Wall Street here in LA too. Isn’t GG taking place in LA this season? If so, where would Dan live? Silver Lake?
Silver Lake is so bourgeois now. Scariest section of Echo Park, easy.
This is the best thing I’ve read all day. You should start doing GG recaps…