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THE MOMENT WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR HAS FINALLY COME! I CAN HARDLY EVEN CATCH MY BREATH! IF YOU’RE READING THIS STANDING UP, PLEASE SIT DOWN. YOU’RE GOING TO NEED TO SIT DOWN FOR THIS ONE. I’M NOT KIDDING. IF YOU STAND UP AT YOUR DESK NOW BECAUSE YOU FELT LIKE YOU WERE WASTING TOO MUCH OF YOUR LIFE SITTING DOWN AND ALSO YOU READ SOMETHING ABOUT HOW SITTING FOR LOTS OF HOURS EVERY DAY HAS DETRIMENTAL HEALTH EFFECTS, I COMMEND YOUR EFFORT, BUT YOU’RE GOING TO NEED TO BORROW SOMEONE’S CHAIR FOR A MINUTE. I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU MADE A PROMISE TO YOURSELF AND IF YOU SIT DOWN NOW IT MIGHT BE LIKE, WELL, THIS FEELS NICE, I DON’T KNOW WHY I EVER GAVE UP SITTING. AND THEN ALL YOUR EFFORT WILL GO RIGHT DOWN THE DRAIN. BUT IT’S ONLY FOR YOUR OWN WELL BEING THAT I’M ASKING YOU TO SIT DOWN. I’M NOT TRYING TO TRICK YOU. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WOULD GET OUT OF THAT, OTHER THAN THAT I GUESS I WOULD FEEL A LITTLE BIT BETTER ABOUT MYSELF BECAUSE THERE’S NO WAY I’M GIVING UP SITTING. BUT THAT’S NOT MY ANGLE HERE! I JUST HAVE SOME BIG NEWS! SO ARE YOU SITTING? OK, GOOD! FROM HOLLYWOOD LIFE:
For nearly three years, we’ve watched Kristen Stewart‘s every move, using it as evidence she’s actually dating her Twilight co-star, Robert Pattinson. Now, in the British GQ, the 21-year-old actress accidentally slipped on the one secret she held near and dear: her relationship with the English actor. While discussing her time in the UK, Kristen said she was excited to see more of the country because “my boyfriend is English.”
GUYS DID YOU READ THAT! HER “BOYFRIEND”! IS ENGLISH! HER BOYFRIEND ROBERT PATTINSON IS ENGLISH! FROM TWILIGHT! I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF I’M HAPPY OR SAD, TO BE HONEST, I GUESS I’M JUST SURPRISED AND RELIEVED THAT THE TRUTH IS FINALLY OUT! WE NO LONGER HAVE TO SPEND OUR DAYS WONDERING IF THE RUMORS ARE ONLY BEAUTIFUL LIES! WE NO LONGER HAVE TO SPEND OUR DAYS ASSUMING THAT KRISTEN STEWART HAS PROBABLY REFERRED TO ROBERT PATTINSON AS HER BOYFRIEND NUMEROUS TIMES SINCE WE ALL THOUGHT THAT THIS WAS A THING THAT WAS KIND OF JUST OUT THERE AND NOT CONSIDERED A SECRET OR A RUMOR, JUST A HOLLYWOOD FACT! AREN’T YOU GLAD I TOLD YOU TO SIT? ORANGE YOU GLAD? ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN’T SAY BANANA? ARE ALL OF OUR BRAINS BROKEN? I THINK MY BRAIN IS BROKEN! (THANKS FOR THE TIP, WERTTREW!)
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“MY BOYFRIEND IS ENGLISH” AHHHHHHH SO CUTE I’M SO EXCITED YOU GUYS OF COURSE IT’S THEIR PERSONAL BUSINESS AND NOT OUR BUT OOOOOH MAN SO EXCITING!!!
I think I broke my chair, I sat down on it SO HARD.
TWSS
While the story’s basically true, that’s a bit of a misquote. What she actually said is that she’s on Team Edward.
I’m glad that the three-year silence is broken. I’ve been waiting 23 years to find out if Tiffany or Debbie Gibson have boyfriends.
But she didn’t actually drop his name, she just said her boyfriend is English. BNPG: Guess what other English guys Kristen Stewart could be secretly dating. I’ll start.
That’s a very good impression of a fun-house mirror, Stephen Fry!
Oh!!!! I want to play!
In her dreams!
Fox Mulder can finally rest.
What on earth is that photo? Is he just spotting her while she does butt lifts?
I think he’s trying to rescue her from the grasp of the Smoke Monster.
(Because… her dress…)
TRUST FALL
It doesn’t look like he did a very good job since she had to catch herself and he only put one hand up, and then only after she was pretty much all the way to the ground.
She’s got a boyfriend? Well someone’s gonna be upset.
Fondue Cheddar is our generation’s Perez Hilton.
http://cbswxrk.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/perez-hilton-0011_edited.jpg?w=380&h=284
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Not to hijack the thread, but is the standing-up-at-your-desk thing really a thing? Because I just started a new job, in an office, and two of my colleagues do it. Like, they have desks where they sit, but if they want to use their computers they have to get up and stand at them?
I got this job after five years in the food-service industry, and there is no fucking way I’m standing up all day. Sitting might be the best thing about this new job.
It is kindof a thing, or is becoming a thing, I think. Sadly, all the studies seem to agree that prolonged sitting is terrible for people.
I have sciatica! I got it when I was like 25! After only having a desk job for 2 years! Stupid sitting, making my butt hurt when I walk.
I always walk away and move around at work… Especially if I or someone near me has to FAAAARRRRRRTTTTTT
But standing all day will hurt you too. Your best bet is to get up every twenty minutes and move around. Also, The Dependent Clause, your co-workers should sit rather than stand to do computer work, according to this article: http://ergo.human.cornell.edu/CUESitStand.html
(For the record, I am typing this lying down in bed.)
While we all eagerly await this vlogger’s reaction to the news:
http://www.youtube.com/user/nuttymadam3575
We’ve thankfully got the closest textual approximation to it right here. Way to be, Kelly. Gold Star.
wait… wait what…
That was supposed to accompany that I don’t know how images work hi everyoneNO WAY!!!
Videogum got Kanye West to guest blog a post?!?!
English or not, those are possibly the most ridiculous pants I have ever seen.