It certainly seems like there are a lot of unwanted and unavoidable things that come with fame. Like being followed around by people with cameras. And having to do a million interviews in a cubicle where everybody asks you the same stupid things all the time and you have to fake laugh. Or having to talk to people and always be nice to them even if you’re having a bad day, just in case they tell people that you weren’t nice to them and then you get labelled as someone who isn’t nice forever and ever. Lots of unavoidable bad stuff. Poor celebrities, God love them. And photo shoots to promote your zillion dollar movies are probably an unavoidable part of the job in a large way, as well. But, funny thing, did you know that they were also rape? Johnny Depp exposes the shocking truth in Vanity Fair:

Well, you just feel like you’re being raped somehow. Raped … It feels like a kind of weird — just weird, man. [I'll pose with fans], but whenever you have a photo shoot or something like that, it’s like — you just feel dumb. It’s just so stupid.

A horrible, traumatizing, life changing experience, surrounded by hairstylists, makeup artists, and millions of dollars in your size of clothing and whatever kind of champagne and coffee and pastries are your favorites, and then a team of retouchers whose only job is to make you better looking than you already are before they put you on their magazine for a bunch of people to spend their hard earned money on just because they like you, or something else mentioned on the cover looked kind of interesting to them. You know, RAPE? EVER HEARD OF IT? (Via Dlisted.)

Comments (33)
  1. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be reading comments on Jezebel for the rest of the afternoon.

  2. Is this what Roman Polanski was referring to when he apologized for the media?

  3. Man, that is an egregious analogy. Kinda makes him look like Hitler.

  4. Man without a clue.

  5. Jack Sparrow? Like anyone would want to AAARRRR him.

  6. Oh. Oh Johnny, just no. Hush.

  7. I’d Let Johnny Depp Rape-Rape me

  8. No he’s close. not right, but close. It’s actually like playing golf with Hitler.

  9. In his defense, these pictures were taken by Terry Richardson so it’s possible that he actually did get raped.

    • But really, if I can get seriousgum for a second, how is it that Terry Richardson is not only not in jail, but continues to be hired by the biggest magazines to take mediocre and usually unflattering pictures/sexually assault his models on the regular?

  10. “They don’t pay me the big bucks because I’m Captain Normal of the SS Not Absurd At All.” -That Guy

  11. He’s entering the GOOP zone for a disconnect with reality.

  12. I smell a Best New Party Game!!! I’ll start:

    What’s getting Gilbert Raped?

  13. Well, someone’s off my Christmas card list.

    Thankfully, I have a Rapesmas card list.

  14. You won me over when you called R2D2 gay. Good move, inetpimp.

  15. You know spam bot, it’s offensive to use “gay” in a derogatory manner.

  16. you said it was “24 hours only” yesterday, too. I can’t trust you anymore.

  17. (Hm, I guess that is what I get for not refreshing the page.)

  18. You know the internet is a garbage palace when even bots are using “gay” as a pejorative.

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