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WELCOME BACK! Starting the week off right with an Ark Music Factory little girl music video. Perfect. And this one is even more appropriate than usual (usually they are very appropriate) because there is going to be a lot of #girlswag going on here this week, I wanted to let you know. It’s gonna be pretty heavy on the #girlswag — pretty heavy on the #meswag. It’s gonna be great! I’m excited. I’m posing the exact way that the girl is at the end of the music video and will be posing that way all week. I’m just glad we all found this jam in time for it. So chill out, queue this beat up on your stereos, put it on infinite loop, and PUT YOUR SEAT BELTS ON! “It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.” No, just kidding! It’s not going to be bumpy, you don’t have to put them on if you don’t want to. Though you never know, and you’re better off safe than sorry, so I think maybe just keep them on. You might as well? You already put them on. But don’t be worried. You’re the best. You all brought helmets, right? Where are your helmets?
This is already going very well. #girlswag (Via ONTD.)
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Can we call for a boycott on Ark Music Factory? I really feel like they’re just trying to hard. It would be the Heidi Montag of terrible music, if Heidi Montag wasn’t already the Heidi Montag of terrible music.
Wait, at the 37 second mark, what does she say about trying to keep her Groupon?
Does Groupon do ARK Music Specials? Hmmmm. I betta get my Groupon
/takes shoes off, goes back to bed
I kept waiting for Pato to drop in and bless this track with a hot 16 bars, then I saw that there was a little pop up at the end of the video for Pato’s new single and it said “Pato a.k.a. Fat Usher”, and I was all, “lol fat usher”, and then I was all, “why do you know about Pato, fondue cheddar?” *gunshot*
Ah, the internet – lightening my overwhelming shame for once loving Wang Chung since 1997.
You SHOULD be ashamed for only loving Wang Chung since 1997. I’ve been Wang Chunging EVERY NIGHT for 25 years!
“Listen, I don’t need nobody, body” … except my parents, I guess? Like, I’m 9. There is no shame in needing some financial and emotional support at my age. #AmorereasonableGirlSwag #reasonableon100trillion
I think my brain is broken, because I think this is actually way better than Rebecca Black’s songs. I know that I’m just thinking in relative terms – I mean, it’s like eating sand…which is terrible…but sand is so much better than being constantly punched in the face. So it’s like “Well, normally this sand would be like, bleh, but right now it’s just very delicious compared to the punching. More sand!”
Does all this #girlswag mean that we are having a week long slumber party? Because I have the Sweet Valley High game, like, in my bag already. Just let me call my mom and I can be over in 10 minutes. I’ll bring a notepad for MASH!
I’m already planning the panty raid.
I just assumed that at any given time, in any given situation, you had some form of plan brewing for a panty raid. Like a risque Dr. Claw.
My mind is like 60% panty raids and 40% chicken wings.
20% flippers, 20% drums?
All drums, all the time. The wing parts are too much work. Also, I’m no purist, I can be perfectly happy with boneless wings.
do 9 year olds even wear panties? or are they still referred to as underwear?
#questionsa24yearoldmanshouldn’tthinkof
Go to Jail (Facebook)
“I LOVE it!!” – Doug Hutchison
I actually had to think about who that is for a second. It’s bad when the child bride is so awful that people mock her instead of the pedophile.
Does #girlswag include “list of sex offenders in my neighborhood”?
I think Ark Music should probably invest some more time in teaching their singers the words to their songs before putting them in front of the camera.
Was this filmed from an abandoned ship on the open seas? Hold the camera straight, you guys.
I don’t know if anybody has thought this yet, but… this is like that Rebecca Black girl a while back. Remember her? Friday = Girl Swag! Watch the video, you will see the similarities if you watch closely enough. Let me know what y’all think!
this is NO nicholas merritt star of the hit video “first day of school”.
‘Ride in my beemer’. You can write shitty songs all you want and autotune a voice until the machine breaks but some mistakes are just absurd, she’s at least 15 years away from driving.
Hitler > Teenage Girls.