1. djfreshie  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +50 “Don’t just stand there, DO SOMETHING!” Reply

   • DirtySpaceNews  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +13 So good, djfreshie. So good. Reply

     • djfreshie  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +13 Reply

   • twilly  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +16 Reply

2. R2D2, Esq.  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +37 Is the alert because she didn’t put enough Capri Sun in the funnel, or because she wasn’t using real fruit juice? Reply

   • Chris Trash  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +29 I think it’s because of the Miami U t-shirt. Reply

     • topknot  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +8 And/or the cargo shorts. Reply

       • Gobblegirl  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +29 They’re a gateway pant. He’ll be mainlining jorts before you know it. Reply

     • richie almost-dies  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +27 Fast forward 17 years: Reply

   • catweazle  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +11 I think because she gave him a high five even though he clearly failed to execute the Capri Sun bong move properly. Reply

3. facetaco  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +77 Talk about a MILF! (Mother I’d like to filechargesagainst) Reply

4. facetaco  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +36 This is certainly an interesting retelling of the Courtney Stoddard Origin Story Reply

5. Erik Mischker  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +22 that’s it, i’m going to terra nova. Reply

6. Polythene Pam  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +9 Next up: sippy cup keg stands! Reply

7. DS3M  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +2 OH SHIT, (Chocolate Milk) KEG STAND Reply

8. explainer guy tries again  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +105 “you mean i could have just brought her out to party with me?” – casey anthony Reply

   • Stephen Meowlkmus  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +11 Anyone who downvotes this will have to reckon with me (but keep in mind that I am wholly powerless and have never been in a physical confrontation in my life, so grain of salt) Reply

     • facetaco  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +20 I downvoted just to have an excuse to rip off my shirt and yell “come at me, bro!” at my monitor. Your move. P.S. Explainer guy, IOU one (1) upvote. Reply

   • werttrew  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +6 Reply

   • aniktwo  |   Posted on Sep 28th, 2011 +1 Reply

9. KajusX & Chainsaws  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +7 Other things taught that day include ‘Juice Pong’ and ‘Flip Sippy Cup.’ Reply

10. Stephen Meowlkmus  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +1 The real outrage is that they wasted an import on that kid. Reply

11. tomjoad  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +6 considering this is florida we’re talking about, just be happy it wasn’t a meth pipe. Reply

    • KajusX & Chainsaws  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +3 Anyone know if Florida has abstinence only sex-ed? Seems likely. If you’ve got a beer bong in use around your kid enough that he’s hankering to take part, then it definitely sounds like you’ve had a kid way too early (or you are old and dumb). Reply

      • lousy_pictures  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +1 As a survivor of the Miami public school system, I struggle with deciding whether abstinence only would have been a less scarring alternative to having a 70 year old man teaching 15 year old me how to properly apply a condom… Reply

        • lousy_pictures  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +4 I should mention that I’m a girl and was probably the only one in that health class that had never even been to first base. Being too tall and too smart is the best protection against pregnancy in high school. Reply

12. twilly  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +1 Yes, bro that is AWESOME. Reply

13. heisenberg  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +25 I’ve seen worse cases of child endangerment out of Florida… Reply

14. annoyingmouse  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +19 You guys are all being ridiculously harsh. I mean obviously none of you know how hard it is to bring up a child in today’s economic climate with your wife who is also your sister… Reply

15. bluestockings  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +8 I’m more concerned that she dressed the kid in Crocs. Reply

16. videogumchewer  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +9 And it’s people like me and my husband (responsible, college educated, tax-paying small business owner) that aren’t having kids because we don’t think we’d be a good enough parents. Sheesh, if I knew that THIS was the bar. (Good double use of the word “bar” I think.) Reply

17. cundela  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +3 This is sort of unrelated but just thought I’d share that I once someone do a beer bong of beer and cut up hot dog pieces. Reply

18. Endless Michael  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +19 I can’t figure out how to post my desired picture (new to the site, bad with computers, and also stupid), so I will describe my intended post to you, and then you can mail me your upvotes. I would have posted the picture of the “more sand” girl, and then put “more juice”. *bows* Reply

    • backstagebethy  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +7 It’s very old fashioned, I like it. Reply

19. Jim Morrissey  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +2 Well, at least she’s not as bad as Casey Anthony? too soon? Reply

    • R2D2, Esq.  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +42 Too late, as a matter of fact. Reply

      • Jim Morrissey  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 -2 oh well. It was bound to happen. and by bound I mean bound and gagged. ba dum dum *crash* Reply

        • djfreshie  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +13 Reply

          • Jim Morrissey  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 -1 Zzzz Reply

    • The Aura of the H-Man  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 0 Actually, too late. By about 29 minutes. Reply

      • The Aura of the H-Man  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +25 And then I was too late by one minute. Damn you, R2D2, Esq.!! Reply

20. dog poo  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 -6 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “Coffee enema next, please, mommy” Reply

    • dog poo  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +1 OK, I get it, you all hate me. I may be gone some time…ooh, a trail of sweeties…get lost, ET, these are mine. Reply

21. pickpocket  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +22 BAD PARENTING ALERT! BAD PARENTING ALERT! BAD PARENTING ALERT! BAD PARENTING ALERT! Reply

22. Matthew Schwartz  |   Posted on Sep 27th, 2011 +14 Dude, that kid is going to get so fucking HYDRATED! Reply

23. superhans  |   Posted on Sep 28th, 2011 0 I was at that tailgate! Very fun tailgate! TheUInventedGabe Reply

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