I’m not sure how Tyra Banks wrote a book without me ever hearing a word about it before today, but apparently Tyra Banks wrote a book! About models! Finally, we can all add another book to our bookshelves in between LA Candy and the spot we’re saving for when the the characters of Gossip Girl write their own novels that get duel publishing in the Gossip Girl world and the real world. And, oh my god, look at the plot of Tyra Banks’ novel. From the Huffington Post:
Modelland follows a girl named Tookie De La Creme who gets invited to attend an elite modeling school called Modelland. It is, as Tyra told Robin Roberts on Good Morning America, “the most exclusive school in the entire world, the school that creates the most amazing supermodels called Intoxibellas.”
Wow that sounds amazing. If I had one complaint, and I don’t, but if I did have one if would only be that the name Modelland gets you there a little too fast. Couldn’t she have thought of a name that sounded anything like a school? Model Prep maybe? But whatever, Tookie De La Creme! I don’t need to hear any more about it, I’m already sold a million times over. Finally a Harry Potter for our generation, ladies. And, just like J.K. Rowling with Harry Potter before her, Tyra has already been approached to turn Modelland into a movie. AND she says, “I would love to open up the `Modelland’ casting to the world — I’m looking for an Everygirl to possibly play one of the characters in the story.” AN EVERYGIRL! THAT COULD BE ANY OF US! Oh my god I hope it is one of us. #birdiefortookie, obviously, but also having any of us in the role would be an honor. BUT HOW IS SHE GOING TO FIND US?
- We Can Try Out For America’s Next Top Model: I’m not sure how tall you have to be to actually get into see Tyra, but I’m 5’2″ and that is CERTAINLY tall enough, I’m pretty sure. If any of you ladies are as tall as I am or maybe even taller (??) that would be great. Once we get in front of the judging panel what we would do is tell her that our name is Tookie De La Creme. She may know what is going on at this point, but in case she doesn’t you say “I’m hear for the audition for the elite modeling school. I’ve brought my smize.” (Something that I didn’t explain is that Tyra has explained in interviews that a “smize” is a thing in the novel and you wear on your eye, and if you find one it increases your chance of getting into the school by 90% — that’s a lot of percent!) By that point you’re in?
- We Can Run Into Her On The Street: I think she lives in LA, so if any of you guys live in LA and want to have us all send our head shots wearing our smizes you can just hand them off to her next time you see her? We can all write why we think we’d be best for the role on the back of our head shots. And instead of head shots they should just be our best Facebook photo printed on resume paper.
- We Get An Agent Or Whatever: I’m not sure how agents work, but maybe we can hire a group agent who can contact her and let her know we’re all interested? I’m sure some of us have at least been in our friends student films and maybe some of us are even very famous. WHO KNOWS? I don’t know your life. But in case you are very famous, can you just ask Tyra if we can be in the movie next time you see her at a fancy party? Give her the URL for this post.
- We Can Ask Ms. Jay: Ms. Jay is probably easier to reach than Tyra at this point and, I don’t know, I’m going to assume he lives in New York.
- E-Mail Her: Guess at a bunch of different email addresses for her but have YOUR email address be some form of Tookie De La Creme. And sign it “Smizing always, Tooks.” I haven’t read the book (yet) but I feel like that’s pretty in tune with the character.
- Write A Follow-Up Novel: And every once in a while say your name instead of Tookie and then get it published and maybe she’ll read it and it’ll be like a subliminal message.
- Start A Vlog About It: Oh definitely this one!!!
- If Not A Vlog, At Least A Series Of YouTube Videos: I understand that starting a vlog has a stigma attached so you don’t have to call it that. But they should all be you reading different sections of the book and playing every character. And then have the videos go viral.
The rest will be Hollywood history. Good luck! I can’t wait for this movie! It’s going to be amazing! I hope Yaya is in it! Remember when she was in The Kids Are All Right?! And it was like what the heck is Yaya doing in this movie?! That was great!