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Remember when you were a kid and you loved going to the local science museum gift shop and picking up a bag of astronaut ice cream, which was only a disgusting block of edible colored chalk, basically? Back when life was easy, when all you had to do was sleep, eat, learn how to spell, and go to science museums? And when you had a cold people would take care of you and give you medicine, and you didn’t have to wish that a medicine delivery system existed because there’s no way you’re going to a drug store right now because you feel too sick, plus you have a blog to write? Those were the days! So why not take a moment this Monday morning, while you’re sipping your coffee and thinking of the week ahead like the working stiff you are, to relive some of those days. “But would I have to drink my coffee out of a bag, then?” you’re probably wondering. “Isn’t that how astronauts do everything? With bags? Baaaaaags?” NO! You big, foolish dummy. You don’t think astronauts found a way around that? Come on.
SEE! By wicking the liquid up along the side of the thing, they’re able to drink coffee like a normal person! By sucking it out of a ummmmeerrrrrr ahhhhhh
Oops! He’s right. Still a bag. So I guess DO pour it in a bag? Just pour your coffee in a bag and drink it that way. Maybe you’ll get sent home early. (Via Presurfer.)
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I drink my coffee like an astronaut – wearing a space suit I can pee in.
In space, nobody can hear you end your sentences with prepositions.
“Space suit in which I can pee” just doesn’t have the right flow, though. Get it? Flow? You get it.
In space, nobody can hear you repeat rules of grammar that aren’t actual rules that some people learn for no apparent reason.
Also, in space, you can split your infinitives, because that isn’t an actual rule either.
I’m more interested in the logistics of how astronauts MAKE coffee. I assume the drip method is out because you need gravity for that. Ditto percolators. I guess french press might work, but since we know THOSE guys aren’t going into space any time soon, we’d have to call it a freedom press.
check out Mary Roach’s book Packing for Mars: http://www.maryroach.net/packing-for-mars.html she explains everything from sex to pooping.
So she explains the taint?
No, but she talks about Tang quite a bit.
Yes, but can it handle my venti soy half-caf caramel macchiato frap?
For the record, I pray that’s not a real thing. I made it up (I don’t even like Starbucks).
I’ll bet you don’t own a TV in your tiny apartment, either.
Is that facetaco? Sorry, I can’t read the screen very well with my upturned nose blocking my vision.
As a Starbucks barista, I can tell you that that’s not a thing. But that doesn’t keep people from asking for it.
Also, wtf is that coffee? It looks like what you get when the ice in your Coca-Cola melts after it’s been sitting in the cup holder in your boiling hot car for a few hours (or days).
I think probably when you’re in space, complaining about the coffee being different from home gets you laughed at.
Forget coffee. Do you know a practical way I can eat potato chips in space? Asking for a friend.
Omg Kelly are you sick? I’ll get your medicine.
I had my first astronaut ice cream sandwich a week ago at the Maker Faire, and it was actually a DELICIOUS block of edible colored chalk.
As an adult I seek out science museums especially so I can eat astronaut ice cream.
So drink rocket fuel? Is that what he’s saying in the beginning? Got it.
Rocket Fuel’s got the upstate prison flavor that keeps you ugly all night long! Nothing makes your feet stank like Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor. Damn, it’s crizappy!
I will always log in to upvote Newsradio
For realsies, why isn’t there a medicine delivery system?
There is! It is often colloquially referred to as a girlfriend or a boyfriend.
This is less meant as “Hey! Hey! Everyone! I have a girlfriend!” and more “I am a terrible boyfriend who often thinks of the practical side-bonuses of having a girlfriend.”
Then why isn’t there a medicine delivery system for ugly people?
That’s not fair, I’ve seen plenty of ugly people with a boyfriend or girlfriend.
There you go, bragging about having a girlfriend again!
Hey remember Kozmo dot com? Where anything you wanted could be delivered to you on an orange scooter 24 hours a day? And there were persistent rumors that if you got the right delivery guy, you could also buy an eighth of pot? And it was all free because of “the new economy”? (For younger readers: 1999 was a different and very strange time.) I miss Kozmo dot com.
I, too, am REALLY interested in how space colonists will be able to celebrate, by making a toast with their bag-o-cups, after defeating the dreaded Glaxbergadrawr from the Falcor Sector of the Nurzamjog Galaxy. Raise your cup-bags, people! We can finally live in peace on our new home, Earth 2.
So this is how man’s last great dream became a reality?
And at 1:55, Ground Control says, ‘This was a lot of fun’. If watching a bald man suck coffee out of a bag is what passes for fun in space future then *gunshot*