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I don’t know what Pride And Prejudice And Zombies is. These are the things I know about it: It’s Pride And Prejudice with zombies included somehow, my nerdy brother really likes it, and it was published by a publishing house in Philadelphia that turned me down for an internship once. Other than that I don’t understand. Is it just sections of Pride and Prejudice with zombie things thrown in? Is it a complete re-imagining? Is it just cardboard that plays a laugh track when you open it, like those birthday cards that sing a song? Who knows. Oh, but another thing I know about it is that it’s going to be a movie that no one wants to be involved with. From Collider:
As the adaptation of Seth Grahame-Smith’s gimmick novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies has cycled through directors (first David O. Russell, then Mike White, and now Craig Gillespie), multiple actresses have passed on the lead role of Elizabeth Bennett. Natalie Portman was originally attached to star, but then she dropped out. The part has been offered to Anne Hathaway, Mia Wasikowska, Scarlett Johansson, Emma Stone, and there have been no takers.
Hahah. Sounds promising! Now the role has been offered to Blake Lively, who will probably take it I imagine because what has she got to lose, you know, if we’re being honest with ourselves and with her. But in case she doesn’t take it, WHO SHOULD TAKE IT?
Vanessa?
A big hat?
Zooey Deschanel?
A lady robot?
Snookie?
ModCloth.com?
A bottle of champagne?
Makeup?
Taylor Momson?
A cupcake that likes listening to music?
SO MANY GOOD CHOICES! My head is spinning with all of the good options for a movie that in no way seems doomed to fail at whatever it’s even trying to do!
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Mrs. Grimes makes True Blood look like iCarly.
Gwyneth Paltrow…A-DUH!
We’re looking for Elizabeth Bennett, not the zombie.
ZOMBIE ZING!
“Worth1000.com” indeed.
This role should probably definitely be offered to Suri Cruise.
Ryan Gosling. So hot right now.
It depends – are they going to use real zombies? Because if they are, then it should be someone I dislike. Otherwise, it should be whichever actress will agree to the most nude screen time.
Marisa Tomei has a scheduling conflict.
Buuuut the gimmick of the book was that it was taking a 19th century “chick lit” (I guess?) novel in the public domain and adding in the modern fanboy stuff, like a Deviant Art joke that someone spent too much time on, but I don’t get making it a movie; like as a movie, there’s no context for the mashup and it’s just going to be like “Van Helsing” or something?
Prove me wrong, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies!
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was a funny one-joke kind of thing, but now they’ve expanded it into a whole thing. Sense and Sensability and Sea Monsters, Android Karenina, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire hunter… it’s all a bit much.
Wait! The trend passed? Dammit! I was just putting the finishing touches on my draft of The Erotic Misadventures of Moby Dick.
Also known as “The subtext of pretty much all of Moby Dick”
Yeah, but in this one, the Whale is actually a pleasure-bot from a planet of sentient whales that fell to Earth through a singularity.
Hmmm.. this is actually gold. *Grabs laptop and runs to nearest coffeeshop.*
That could be lucrative, FLW. The Erotic Adventures of Pinocchio is a classic.
http://youtu.be/gLei9Lgs0_o
that kinda gets creepy when he turns into a real boy…
LOL @
You know why Jane Eyre hasn’t been mashed up? Or Wuthering Heights? Because things happen in them. Other than marriage and maybe-marriage.
Yeah. I especially love the part where Jane fights vampires. http://amzn.to/n6Tqul NOTHING IS SACRED.
My thoughts are, I’m on board for any vehicle that might deliver Natalie Portman in a zombie movie. That’s about it.
You put makeup twice; the second time you misspelled it, too. (The joke is Taylor Momson wears so much make up, it’s like she is makeup!)
I was also working on a Taylor Momsen and makeup is redundant joke, but couldn’t figure out how to do it without having to explain the joke. Thanks for taking that bullet, DSN.
See, the joke is that I explained the joke! That tip’s for free, Artoo.
Because I am a dork who of course loves this and loves all the Austen novels and all the zombie things, I am going to suggest Aubrey Plaza to make my geekgasm complete.
Naturally, there is one choice for Geek!Darcy:
Sorry, Tennant is already booked for my project, Doctor Zhivag-Who
Is that the guy who played Harry Potter?
He is already proficient with a shotgun.
And eyeliner. You know those Victorians loved their eyeliner.
Ughhhh the Tenth Doctor is so overrated. It took me years and years to get into new Who because his fangirls are such nightmares.
That’s funny, I was just thinking that on the way to work today. I might like the 9th more. But I might also just be sour because the last 3-4 Tennant stories I watched were so misbegotten (ex.: “Daleks in Manhattan.” Really?) Anyway I’m watching the DVDs in order so I’ll be sure to let you know as this is highly important.
I think 9 is totally underrated, but if I am going to fangirl a doctor, we all know I will fangirl Tom Baker until the fangirl cows fangirl home.
You know who’s underrated? Seven. And I base that on the one single story of his I saw, so obviously this is a reliable assessment. Here he is, agreeing with me:
I AGREE SO MUCH, LBT. Tom Baker is the bessssst. And hotspur, I think they are taking a Seven-like direction with Eleven, which is interesting and exciting and I really look forward to new episodes. I keep wanting to reblog something Who on the Videogum tumblr but I feel like I shouldn’t? THAT SAID IF ANYONE NEEDS A GUY TO BLOG ABOUT DOCTOR WHO ON VIDEOGUM.COM I’LL DO IT FOR FREE
A lorry
How about instead of a woman, the lead is a guy and instead of Victorian England, it’s modern day London and instead of a story about the trails and tribulations of the landed gentry, its about a slacker trying to pull his life together and we cast Simon Pegg and just make it a Shaun of the Dead sequel?
Done and done. Going to lunch.
Are you sure you don’t work in development?
Tracy Morgan can play the part of Prejudice.
and Kanye West as “Pride”…..i smell a buddy cop movie!
Kelly! I was just scrolling down the list of actresses thinking, I know, it should be Taylor Momsen, Taylor Momsen would do the trick just perfe-oh, there she is, in all her raccoon glory!
How did you know, Kelly?
How did you know!?
ACK!
Dear Hollywood,
Sometimes it is nice to have British ladies played by British ladies.
Just sayin’
She is so awesome. Why isn’t she more famous?
Seriously, I always enjoy watching her in things. Even very stupid things.
her + johnny lee miller in emma? that was a great emma.
I vote for Big Hat!
#birdie4bennett
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTUpUDf1OaG09eFS13sfOqgftn8hn0NiJnWkPUWi0HY13haHp1x
oopps i mean this:
how about edgar allen poe and abe lincoln fuck up vampires in old baltimore?