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Hey guys, we’re back with this week’s top ten best animal videos! Just kidding, we’re not back! This is the first time we’ve been here with this. But, we’re here now! So please, take a seat. All of the nominees are backstage anxiously awaiting to hear how they’ve placed and your standing and applauding is not helping to move anything along. Have the professional seat fillers taken their seats? And then other things about award shows? Great. This week we’ve seen a lot of extraordinary talent on display, from pigs stealing snacks to owls looking at themselves to animals eating pizza to dogs just being dogs. The full spectrum. It’s almost like you can’t really judge them because they’re all equally and exceptionally talented, but the fact is that you CAN judge them. And we did. We meaning only me. So here they are, thoughtfully and scientifically ranked!
10. Ping Pong Kat
9. Pig Steals Cheetos
8. Owl Looking At Itself In A Mirror
7. Lazy Kangaroo
6. Groundhog Eats Pizza
5. Acrobat Koala
4. Pugs Attacked By Zombie
3. Kat Attempts To Jump Over Bathtub
2. Kitten Scared By Printer
1. Hiccuping Dog!!!
Wow, who could’ve predicted hiccuping dog coming in at number one this week! What a surprise! Congratulations, hiccuping dog. What did it, I think, is how cute you are and how rare it is to see a puppy hiccuping. Is there anyone you would like to thank? No? You are a dog, first of all, and not only that you’re a dog that I’m not even talking to right not because I’m just typing words on a screen and not actually talking to anyone? Great. Congratulations, you did a great job.
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Maybe the trick to curing that dog’s hiccups is to scare him. Let me try:
“HEY DOG! COURTNEY STODDEN JUST GOT A REALITY SHOW! WHAT? YES, YOU ARE CORRECT. SHE IS THAT DRIED OUT HUSK OF A IHOP-WAITRESS THAT SOMEHOW TRIES TO PASS HERSELF OFF AS A MODERN DAY LOLITA. WHAT AN ASTUTE OBSERVATION FROM A PUPPY!”
That kangaroo is just plain CORRECT. About EVERYTHING.
Proper
True story: My mother gives her dog peanut butter when he has the hiccups (which does happen). The last time I visited, I swear he was faking hiccups JUST for the peanut butter because they stopped as soon as she got the jar out. So what’s cuter- a puppy with hiccups or a dog FAKING the hiccups to get treats?
Guys, I think dogs have been holding out on some anti-zombie technology. Excuse me while I visit the carpet store to stock up for the apocalypse.
Will someone think of the children and put a shirt on that groundhog!
I like that most of these videos are less than a minute long. Get in, get some animals, get out. We are being so efficient.
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