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First to state the obvious: what does this have to do with being the President of the United States? Besides absolutely nothing? I’m pretty sure there was an actual clip from the movie Unstoppable at one point. Neat! Although I do love the quick shot of horse hooves running through marsh waters. TAKE THAT UP YOUR BUTT, GEOPOLITICAL DIPLOMACY! This is just silly. It’s at 8 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. But also, you can’t really show images of a post-Apocalyptic, jobless wasteland, and then also show a bright and sunny shot of yourself shaking hands with builders hard at work. Like, which is it? Are all the workers dead? Or are all the workers super happy to see everybody? It is a true testament to the size of Rick Perry’s balls, though, that New York City would feature so prominently in his first major campaign commercial. Motherfucker, DON’T EVEN. (Thanks for the tip, Jessica.)
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New York City because that’s where his running mate is from.
#Perry/Birdie2012
He’s right. The US is the last great hope of mankind, assuming mankind’s greatest hope involves Big Gulps.
I challenge you to find one problem that CAN’T be solved with Big Gulps.
Having a tiny mouth
Well it’s not going to get any bigger without practice!
TWFTS
I am so, so sorry.
“I am so, so sorry” is also WFTS
Diabetes
Tell that to Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias.
TOO SOON!
http://pics.livejournal.com/onlyjustwhisper/pic/0029q4gc
.gif
exactly!
“I carry the fire.” -Perry/Non-cannibals 2012
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NOPE
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I’ll admit, that was a lol.
Okay, see you guys in church tonight, I have some Hail Marys to say.
This a trailer for a new horror film right?
A religious horror film as I did catch four horses running… to the apocalypse. 2012, indeed.
I am almost 100% certain that the first half of this… thing… featured the Saw “HOLY SHIT THAT GUY WAS ALIVE THE WHOLE TIME?!” music. So I guess, to answer your question, yes.
Rick Perry is Rick Perry in Michael Bay’s ‘Rick Perry’
So to believe in America is to believe that Texas should secede from the union, yes? Oh, okay excellent in that case I believe Rick Perry should stfu and sit down.
Listen, Gabe. Rick Perry has every right to reference New York. He’s been here tons of times and done all the New York things. Like going to Serendipity, having a slice of Famiglia Pizza in Times Square, seeing a matinée of “Wicked.” You know, stuff only real New Yorkers do.
But did he make small talk with the stranger next to him about how exciting it was to be riding the subway?
Hahahahahahahhahahahahahaha. This is very funny to me because I worked with this insufferable bimbo who went to NYU for a year and this is literally her list of all the amazing New York stuff she’d do that she TOTALLY misses SO MUCH. Oh and Bloomingdale’s, obviously.
Also, OMG, she got engaged there. OMGOMGOMGOMG *gunshot*
Engaged at Bloomingdales?
Isn’t that the name of the new Tom Clancy’s Ghost Ops novel?
Actually I think he took her shopping there and they got engaged at Serendipity. All I know is she named her cats after both stores for this reason. Like a real New Yorker.
Damn, Rick just totally Acid Rained on Obama’s America.
Rick Perry’s House Of Payne
I like to imagine all those cards are “Happy Bosses’ Day” cards.
looking forward to seeing someone with editing skills just reverse Obama’s sound bites with Rick Perry’s to make the point that this is literally just bells and whistles.
one thing this ad does get right: speaking in vague platitudes are getting us nowhere.
I believe the production team made a mistake; it’s Rick PArry. With an A. For America.
What does this have to do with being President?
What does THIS have to do with being President?
If Rick Perry is America’s action hero movie star President, he damned better well sell himself that way.
Is Mittens really that much taller?
I think in Perry’s own mind, the National Anthem is giving him fellatio right there.
“They saluted the highest of all beings to the conservative populous, the mythical ‘Reagan Jesus’ as he descended upon the CNN Republican Debate draped in American and Gadsden Flags while wielding sub-machine guns in both arms.” – Morgan Freeman documentary voice
YES YOU WILL DIE IF YOU VOTE FOR RICK PERRY – ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON’T HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE!
I was really hoping some gems in the YouTube comments, but I was denied.
behind the scenes:
That picture was taken just around the corner from me.
This is giving me Human Centipede vibes *shivers*
*foreshadowing spoiler alert,* Mitten’s laytex glove is our generation’s OJ’s leather glove.
Or, our generation’s fantastic marketing opportunity:
<3
“Get off my ticket!”
Have Americans developed anti-ice technology yet? No? Fellow Canadians, COMMENCE CONSTRUCTION OF THE ICE WALL
Too small.
I said “COMMENCE”, implying that we were JUST STARTING. Obvy it will be much larger when it is done, NO DUH
uh, isn’t he just kind of paraphrasing Obama’s election night speech from ’08?
He’s totally the simulacrum ideal for the Right that Obama was for the Left.
These Colbert Super PAC ads are hilarious.
In a world without BRAINS
That’s it, I’m voting for this guy:
let’s be honest. it would be an upgrayedd.
Awesome! That sums it up pretty well. The whole time I’m watching the video all I could hear was Ameeericuh . . . FUCK YEAH!!!!!
I gotta say that is one hilarious campaign commercial. I’m surprised some of the monsters are so freaked out by it. Unless of course, you subscribe to the view that flyover country is a bunch of morons. I’m not saying your wrong necessarily. I can see how dumb the commercial is but at the same time it’s fun to see stuff that is proud of America. We should not be embarrassed to be Americans even though we do some bad shit from time to time.
dont vote
A couple of images I thought I should bring to everyone’s attention, since the really fast editing makes it hard to know exactly what you’re seeing. Exhibit A:
Subliminal birtherism!
Exhibit B:
Sparks!
So Roland Emmerich directs campaign commercials now?
Yes, but mainly Michael Bay this time. They even had the kid holding up a toy plane as real ones flew over.
So, am I the only one who’s kind-of-genuinely scared by this?
They missed a big “FUCK YEAH” in the end
Currently being a Texas Monster, I would like to say sorry about this.
please don’t dixie chick me
That sounds vaguely sexual.
You spelled “aggressively” wrong