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Looking good, Nancy Grace! (Via Julie Klausner.)
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Let's all go to the movies, and let's all see the same movie, and let's discuss it here.
Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
This is what I get to wake up to.
Well I got a weird guy getting trapped in a balloon, while documenting autoerotic asphyxiation.
“This is what I get to wake up to.”
-Every penis in America
Kathie Lee is so much hotter right now
Although the smelling my armpits maneuver is a classic. And Indicates a Certain Heat Level in and of itself, if you know what I mean
I Mean Nancy Grace Stinks
You think this is frightening, try imagining it at 60 FPS.
Put the window back in! Put the window back in!
Why is the world trying to make me stare at Nancy Grace’s breasts this morning? I have no interest in them, and yet I am mesmerized.
I made a handy flowchart on what these gifs have done to my appetite.
Well I mean, it might be more difficult, but you’ll still have one hand free, I’m sure you can manage.
FACETACO!
KELLY!
GABE!
Pastrami Sandwich + Portable Television + Sex = George Costanza
Turkey w/ Avocado(?) + Nancy Grace Dancing gifs + Masturbation = FLW
I’ve always found Pastrami to be the most erotic of the salted-cured meats.
I flew to close to the sun on wings of Pastrami.
Yeah, that’s what you did.
At least she seems to be aware that her best shot at getting ahead on this show is by keeping her face covered as much as possible.
Or if a little white girl gets kidnapped from the DWTS audience…
“Mr. Delahaye. Tear down this wall.” — Donald Deagan
I was browsin’ the tubez last night (watching TV) and I noticed that Dancing With The Stars, The Sing Off, and Two And A Half Men Season Premiere were all on at the same time. This would be later called, in the history books, THE WHITEST MOMENT IN TELEVISION HISTORY
Whiter than the years 1939 through 1970?
yes. #dancingwiththestars #thesingoff #twoandahalfmenseasonpremiere
You obviously missed Urban Method on The Sing Off. They weren’t all white!
R.I.P. buddy.
This guy would win this show.
What’s everyone’s favorite dance move? I am a huge fan of the “dramatic dice roll” lately. Never fails.
A gentle pelvic thrust, performed repeatedly while shouting “hoo-ahh” like Al Pacino in Scent Of A Woman.
The yet to appear gif of the man in the balloon air-humping his way out with his hands splayed at his sides.
Well, here we go:
Moves like Jagger
I’m so glad I’m already gay. If I wasn’t I probably would be now.
Well for the love of fuck… Between this and the attempted humanification of Dick Cheney during his parallel universe book tour, maybe the boob tube really IS the Devil’s tool.
hehe, Fuck.
LOL BOOB
ROFL TOOL
HAHAHAJHGHHAGUHSEUHSHAWUHAUIHAIUFH (period)
Unfortunately, this is probably what I will look like in 30 years (I am assuming Nancy Grace is about 55; oops and sorry to her if she is actually, like, 40. But also I lied, I am not sorry, you are an asshole.). My dancing is better and my dress will be a million times less ugly, but I looked into that gif and saw the future and it was scary. However, thinking of seeing my parents and their friends at dance parties (not to mention that scene from Parenthood last week that was RIDIC, eh Kelly?) I wonder if at a certain point dancing skills start to decrease exponentially with age?