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Oh thank goodness, it is finally time for the 2011 Emmy Awards! Although I know that it has only been one year since the 2010 Emmy Awards, it feels like it has been at least one million. Why not sprinkle in a couple more Emmy Awards throughout the year? Give the fancy self-congratulatory trophy party fans what they want! MORE EMMY AWARD SHOWS! But whatever, here we are on the night of our only Emmys of the year. Jane Lynch is hosting! Yay, we like her! Also, as Gabe pointed out, there are actually a number of very good things nominated! Like Friday Night Lights, and Parks & Recreation, and people from those shows, and Louis C.K., and Game of Thrones, ETC.! Maybe they’ll win? Or maybe they won’t. That’s the thing about the Emmys — no one knows who will or won’t win before the show starts. Either way, Gabe will be dishing out zingers throughout the night through the Videogum Twitter and I’ll be here dishing out comments here with the Videogum monsters. So come on and join us why don’t you? HUH? Let’s get this show on the road, Mr. Hollywood!
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Who are the people doing the red carpet on Fox? They’re TERRIBLE. What do we have to do to get Birdie to ask what everyone is wearing?
“In the end, we were all winners at the 2011 Emmys.”
I just want to point out that last year I made some of my best internet friends on the Emmy open thread. So I’ve got high expectations, is what I’m saying.
I’m with you, Soul Sister!
Happy 1 year anniversary, darling. #SEBFC
I remember that! I remember BabyFriday was all over that thread and that’s when I fell in love with her. <3
#SEBFEC
I love video pizza
Anyone know if this is streaming anywhere?
What am I doing with my life
Jane Lynch is the boss of me.
I’m pretending to watch the Emmys in my mind, so I can keep up here. The booze should help, too.
GUYS! IT’S ON, GUYS!!!!!!
Good point
Jane Lynch, FTW
Funny story, the President of TV was supposed to be Alec Baldwin, but they cut his Newscorp phonehacking joke, so he WALKED.
OFFICIALLY THE SELL OUT EMMYS
Very Entourage heavy, for all the Emmy/ Entourage superfans.
Can someone please cut off Jeremy Piven’s balls and shove them down his throat?
Done! In a related story I’m wanted by the law.
Okay, Big Bang Theory is not funny, but Jim Parsons is presh.
I’d make out with him.
I wish the Emmys were known for the commercials, kind of like the Super Bowl.
RON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay Ron, best Emmy’s ever!
Ron “Fucking” Swanson speaks for all of us, STOP SINGING
RON SWANSON!
I miss Pete.
Ahhhhh! I just saw Ron Swanson and got all the boners!!!
LANDRY!
the last scene of FNL of all time, and it had to be in this painful Emmy montage.
Jon Hamm really wants me to make out with him, doesn’t he?
He does. He told me when I was banging him last night.
Nope. With me. Close though!
I mean, I’m going to make out with Jon Hamm, not that we’re going to make out. Damn this drunk commenting.
Jon is mine. I’ll fucking cut you if you get in my way.
…and I can’t stop calling it the Grammys.
I love television so much.
Truly, it’s what makes our marriage work.
Coincidentally, this is also the glue in the Thisismynarrator marriage.
Off to a horrible start! WHAT A RIDE!
Tom Cruise jokes!
JEFF WINGER
Why is he doing this?
Wait, when is the last time Wilmer Valderama was even on TV?
The 70s.
Spanx jokes!
I hope they put Entourage in the In Memorium segment.
Also, Outsourced.
That was funnier than any joke so far minus the Mad Men bit.
Hot in Whoveland?
PSYCH!!!
I mean “Yay! they acknowledged Psych!”
So good, so underrated.
When does it come back? You know what? It doesn’t matter… the answer is not soon enough.
Soon! The ads have them singing Don’t You Forget About Me. They’re fun.
Psych! Finally someone acknowledges that the show exists!
FIRST DONNA DARKO OF THE NIGHT!!
I am proud to Donna the Darko of a fellow Psych fan.
Wait, did every single comedy on TV get nominated? What is going on?
hey guys let’s open with our best track: the montage
I honestly understand very little of what is going on right now.
Yes, let’s end the comedy segment with BIG BANG THEORY
Double Jimmys all the way across the stage! WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
(Are we still doing Double Rainbow jokes?)
“Shut your ass” is not a joke.
First joke of the comedy series: JULIE BOWEN GETS AN EMMY!
Aw, come on, she’s great!
Sofia Vergara is MUCH better than her on the show.
I’ll give you that, I’m just glad it went to Modern Family. Plus I love Julie Bowen a little.
Remember when Julie played Jack’s bitchy wife on LOST? Also, her hair looks awesome. Not so much the dress.
I actually think her hair looks like when I thought ironing my hair straight with an actual iron was cool
Yeah, I hit send as I noticed the shitty extensions. The top part was cute.
It’s also very Gwyneth
Totally! I was just going to write that, too!
Ohhhhhh, heeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyy Julie Bowen’s husband! HEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
It looks like Julie Bowen did NOT expect to win this one guys, what a night. Already what a night.
She also did not expect to eat a sandwich.
after being shut out for her role as Carol Vessey, she must have given up hope.
IN DA FACE, JOHN CRYER!
I really wanted it to go to Ed O’Neill, but Ty Burrell is super great.
He’s adorable. And he really does bring a depth to that character that someone else would not.
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This might be worse than the Chris Brown comment
So when TV couples both win Emmys is that like when thisismynightmare and The Narrator both make the Monster’s Ball?
I AM TYPING SOMETHING FUNNY ON THE INTERNET ABOUT THE EMMYS!!!!
Anybody else hearing a weird electronic beeping in the background on the #Emmys ? #soannoying
Is anyone listening to Ricky Gervais’ live cast? I kind of hate him too now. I understand you, Kelly.
BUCKY GUNTS!!!
Ricky Gervais’ Golden Globe jokes are a little too FRESH for the Emmys, I think.
Also soooo glad he got an atheism joke in. WHAT A NIGHT!
Ricky Gervais hosting an awards show is our generation’s Clinton / Lewinsky. ESCANDALO!
Apparently, Modern Family is the only cmedy series on TV right now.
Wow, Modern Family is just tapping all the other shows on the forehead with it’s modern dick.
“Beachy” is a very good name for a kid! No wonder this guy won an award.
So… the director’s family isn’t so much modern, as traditional, right? I’m so drunk.
Gob.
Franklin.
& Bash.
My girl crush on Zooey D is officially over.
my boy crush is fading away, soon I’ll have a crush on her sister Bones and Bone’s husband Rickety Cricket
Oh, fuck this.
Okay, the announcing is making my life right now. Chicken tenders shaped liked dinosaurs? Those are the BEST ONES!
They are indeed THE BEST. As is the announcing. “Their mascot was a bottle of salad dressing”!
[Who is the announcer, does anyone know?]
Nope, sorry, I take it back, the announcing is NOT the best.
Modern Family’s wife’s eyeroll for all the emmys
Do we not like Modern Family anymore? I can’t keep up. I still love it, but I understand that I’m behind the times. I don’t know any music after 1993, for example.
I like it, but it is very cliched even though it makes the cliches funnybones
DON’T CHECK KURT COBAIN’S WIKIPEDIA PAGE!
Oh Christ, shut UP writer and go back to your sweaty writer’s room.
Uhhhhhhh…what in the world was that story?
NAMES NAMES NAMES NAMES NAMES NAMES
That’s my impression of the Emmys
Aww Modern Family guy is gay
Then he should do a better job with that show and its portrayal of gayness.
You guys, The Land Before Time X is instant streaming on Netflix!
Children I have heard thanked: “Griffin” and “Beachy”
What is this, the Modern Family awards?
JANE LYNCH STOLE YOUR JOKE
This night is a travesty.
What are we supposed to talk about during commercial breaks? Commercials?
Can I just say that all the dresses that T-Mobile girl wears are very ugly? Like, Project Runway ugly?
I am excited about that Dolphin getting a tail movie.
I do not understand my feelings about that movie. On the one hand, it looks really dumb and manipulative. On the other hand, I tear up pretty much every time I see an ad for it.
Oh snap, I know you guys may not see it, but a local commercial just played telling me Boyz II Men is playing at the Saratoga Racino. Highlight of my Emmy’s broadcast.
“Heard any good jokes lately”.
Charlie Sheen?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Who the FUCK just gave Charlie Sheen a standing ovation?
Jimmy Fallon, I’m worried about Jimmy Fallon you guys
He was being ironic. #hipsterlatenighthosts
Jimmy Fallon just gave Charlie Sheen a standing ovation.
I would have been more shocked by the Goddesses taking the stage than Charlie Sheen
Background celebrities: I saw Idris Elba behind Jimmy Fallon.
Charlie Sheen gets the Emmy for sideburns am I right.
‘Cause of his sideburns?
I can’t believe Ned and Stacy is getting shut out of the Emmys.
Wow, Charlie Sheen is a real pussy!
He crossed his fingers after saying “I wish you nothing.” You trolls know what I’m talking about.
Leave trolls out of this!
I hate the Big Bang Theory so much. So. Much.
Nice seeing Louie and Pamela at least
Weird “look at an upset Louis CK shot” though.
Smdh — the lord god almighty
I wish Jim Parsons wasn’t so darling, because i would be so pissed. Well, I’m still pissed. But so cute.
Rob Lowe and Sofia Veraga are making my screen explode with hotness!
Oh, Hello Jon Hamm. What’s that? You want me to kiss you through the TV? Well, okay…
George RR’s lady has a boob tattoo http://twitpic.com/6n361j
The stage just exploded with sex dreams. Rob Lowe and Sofia Vergara can get it.
Motherfucking jinx!
I owe you a motherfucking Coke!
Tina Fey looks very good with her face.
These women make me want to be a better person.
AMY POEHLER IS THE BEST AMY EVER (EXCLUDING MYSELF)
Not to talk about DRESSES but why is Tina Fey the only one in this category who even kind of knows which one to wear.
I’m kinda obsessed with Martha Plimpton’s.
Martha Plimpton is so great.
I’m totally obsessed with it. Her hair is great too.
Considering Goonies, I would never have guessed that Plimpton would be the sexayest one in that group. I need to get that dress, and wear it on Tuesdays while folding my laundry, just because.
Her little shriek when she jumped up to join Poehler and McCarthy onstage was so good.
Where was all this for the dudes?
YAY! Sookie! I love her so hard. I don’t watch that stupid-ass show, but she is so cool.
Also great in Bridesmaids. “hit a lot of rails. Broke a lot of shit.”
Paltrow’s face at Sookie’s win:
You can actually see her thinking “it’s sweet they let the fat one win something.”
She truly is the worst.
Next, she’ll give interviews talking about how they are BEST FRIENDS and how McCarthy was going to co-write Gwynnie’s comedy script with her but actually thought that Paltrow’s voice was so unique and singular that she should actually just write it herself.
Something something Shallow Hal.
What a weird looking kitchen
SOOKIE!!! (the good one.) When did they bring back Gilmore Girls?
We are Donnaing Darkos all over this bitch.
And I’m not even drinking yet!
Now I am. Paltrow’s condescending head tilt brought me over the edge.
Melissa McCarthy just won a retroactive Emmy for playing Sookie St James in Gilmore Girls? Sorry, Ricky Gervais, there is a god!
Right?! Aw, she’s so amazing.
I am glad they showed David Spade pretending to talk on a Blackberry backstage, this is why we watch award shows
I almost shed a tear at all the awesome comedy ladies taking the stage, but instead I just smiled like an idiot at no-one. Then I told the internet about it. Good work, awesome comedy ladies! Bad work, compulsive honesty!
it was THE CUTEST. and I want to pretend that it wasn’t pre-scripted. So I’m going to do that. Don’t spoil it for me, Internet.
You guys: as you look at that lineup of women on the stage for the comedy award, just remember. Women are not funny.
Kevin and Andy from The Office went to the same high school as Teacherman. Fun facts.
Also, Godsauce
A guy from a Britney Spears video went to my high school. He was awful.
Jim and John Belushi, Edwin Hubble, and Red Grange went to my high school. They were a few classes ahead of me, though, so we never really hung out or anything.