Photos
Yesterday morning, I was wearing shorts (don’t point fingers because you make an ass out of you and I can wear what I want!) and yesterday evening I was wearing a jacket. Fall has FLUNG! I know there are going to be some more warm days over the next couple of weeks before we all crawl back into the hidey-holes we’ve dug with our broken-nailed fingers, but boy was that fast. The new season of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia started last night which is OUR generation’s changing of the colors. Good night, sweet summer. You were a season that flew to close to the BEACH BUM! (The seasons may change, but my need to lie down in the gutter and wait for a young child to kick-roll my body all the way to the hospital by the end of every Friday is EVERGREEN.) Have a good weekend, girls.
After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Jeremy Piven Walking His Emmys Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments
| #5 |  |
huckabeast | Sep 12th | Score:54 |
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“What a bright, clever young woman.” -Ryan Gosling, reading The New York Magazine. |
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| Posted in: The New York Magazine Approval Matrix Is OUR Generation’s Monsters’ Ball | |||
| #4 |  |
hotspur | Sep 12th | Score:56 |
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I love this site, with its music reviews, occasional free mp3s, and meanspirited, hollow snark directed at struggling musicians. |
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| Posted in: Ryan Gosling Gets Mistaken For Ryan Reynolds, Says Ryan Gosling | |||
| #3 |  |
Miss Rabbit | Sep 14th | Score:68 |
| Posted in: Really Look At Jon Hamm, Ladies, Really Look At Him | |||
| #2 | |
hotspur | Sep 13th | Score:70 |
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Not sure about the bigotry but I *do* agree with the smokescreen: My friend Jay was a huge libertarian in the 90s, railing against the existence of the post office, etc. To an extreme: in our apartment he filled a closet with water, powerbars, and guns. Convinced that in our lifetime a civil war would reduce civilization to ash. But when it did, from the ruins, he and I would emerge — leaders of a ragtag band of noble survivalists, thanks to his brilliant strategic mind and my (this is what he said) “charisma”; we’d rally the remnants of humanity to our cause, and begin our specie’s long trek back to civilization. Oh and all the while endlessly skirmishing with the other micro-civilizations that sprang up to stop us. He put libertarian signs on our lawn every election and went so far as to design (in secret, but I caught him) our post-apocalypse flag. I tried to convince him this was idiotic. That he was actively rooting for the death of millions, including his family. He was unswayable. I came to understand libertarianism as a smokescreen for how small and under-utilized he felt at his job. He’d been told his whole life “In America you can be anything!” but in reality he’d become an IT gopher who spent his day cleaning mouses and resetting peoples’ passwords because they forgot them. He really wanted to be heroic instead. Postscript: I was actually present when his libertarianism died forever. It was on 9/11. We stayed in, with the TV on all day. A week later he began to clean all the water and powerbars out of the closet. |
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| Posted in: Tea Party Debate Audience Would Like Everyone To Die | |||
| #1 |  |
R2D2, Esq. | Sep 13th | Score:97 |
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I’m actually really pissed with Wolf Blitzer for how he couched the issue. He set up a scenario where someone who could afford health insurance chose not to and then got sick. Well guess what, Wolf. The people who can afford health care are not the ones I’m worried about! Ask the real fucking question*, which is about the tens of millions of people who don’t get insurance through their job and simply can’t afford to buy it on their own. Do we kill them off? Ask it, you simpering jackass. *I actually think the real real question is why we don’t socialize medicine and stop forcing people choose between death and bankruptcy, but we’re nowhere near having that conversation for real in America, so I’ll settle for the other one. |
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| Posted in: Tea Party Debate Audience Would Like Everyone To Die | |||
[Assoc. Ed. Note: Well that was a pretty HEAVY WEEK, wasn't it? Jesus Christ. Great job to R2D2, Esq. and hotspur for pulling in the top two comments from a very heated comment section. Apologies to the rest of you for looking a little like you don't have your priorities in the right place in comparison, but still congratulations because you did it! You got there, great job. Great comments. Have a great weekend.]
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment
| #1 |  |
demonkitty | Sep 13th | Score:-21 |
| Gabe, I love this site & your writing, but you don’t know shit about anarchism. Nothing annoys me more than people equating right wing corporatist crap with the fundamental truth that the state is simply a monopoly on violence. In fact, that right wing corporatist crap that you just equated with anarchism requires the state to be a monopoly on violence because that is the only way corporations can enforce their will. And before you tell me I should go live in Somalia for a day, let me just point out that the bad guys already have all the guns…
Read some Emma Goldmun and get back to me. |
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| Posted in: Tea Party Debate Audience Would Like Everyone To Die | |||
[Ed. Note: Wait, what? Look, if your argument is that the state is an exploitative institution created to maintain and protect the wealth of the upper-class and that their means of doing so is through institutionalized violence, you won't get much argument from me. If your argument is that in response to this we need to ABOLISH THE STATE ENTIRELY, that is where our paths diverge. To your point, you are right, I am not an anarchy scholar, so please feel free to give me a C- and tell me to see you after class. But the fact of the matter is that whether or not they genuinely mean it or if it is just a rhetorical flourish (I would argue for the latter), libertarianism does argue for the abolishment of the state, so even if the fundamental philosophy behind your brand of anarchism and theirs is entirely different, that doesn't change the fundamentals, and also you are both full of shit. If you honestly think that the world is going to be a much better place without any governments, you are OUT. OF. YOUR. MIND. Now what is this about Somalia? Is that a thing?]
This Week’s Caption Contest Winner
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Frank Lloyd Wrong | Sep 13th | Score:39 | |
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No, we know. |
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| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Jeremy Piven Walking His Emmys | |||
[Ed. Note: (Said in response to this.) Congratulations, Frank Lloyd Wrong! You earned it.]
This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice
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Rara | Sep 14th | Score:15 | |
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Not so much breaking news as it is BENDING! Bye. |
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| Posted in: BREAKING: Gumby Turns Himself In | |||
[Assoc. Ed. Note: Just a job well done here. "Congrads," Rara.]
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
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godsdog | 12:37pm | Score:10 | |
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They r sexy but they r bitches. |
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| Posted in: An Open Letter To The University Of Montreal Students Who Wore Black Face | |||
[Ed. Note: It's always nice to be reminded of an old CLASSIC.]
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Happy weekend, everybody!
Didn’t get the worst comment after all. Thanks for your wishing it upon me!
I wasn’t really wishing it, I honestly thought it was just going to happen. However, your subsequent comments provided some context and made the original comment seem much less harsh. I still disagree with outing people against their will, but agree to disagree?
Have a good weekend.
OK. I can agree to that! However, I still think you’re wrong. I don’t think you understand the issue and as a straight man I’m not entirely sure that you can, but that’s not your fault. It’s a bigger issue than what can be written on this board, and I can tell you’re the opposite of a bigot so really that’s all that counts. Your heart is in the right place.
YOU have a good weekend too! see ya around!
Yes. That sounds like fun. Maybe you me and your boyfriend can read videogum comments together and check out agelessc’upid.c’om profiles.
Second time in three weeks I’ve made Monster’s Ball for for a Ryan Gosling/dismynightmare joke, so if anyone’s looking to start rounding out their EGOT, I might suggest that avenue. In the meantime, FRIDAY!
Just replying here so I can be all high up in the comments (THANKS HB.) But after like 4 years commenting I HAVE MADE IT TO THE BALL.
I HAVE SAVED THIS GIF. FOR 4. YEARS.
I should thank Kelly. THANKS KELLY! YOU GET IT. Not a lot of people do.
My sincerest apologies to werttrew, Ian, pretty much anyone who commented in the Caption thread and most of Explainer Guy Tries Again. That was such a one-off pithy comment that I expected maybe two people would upvote. So, from the bottom of my heart, apologies to the 4 billion better captions, my was piffle that I barfed up.
Speaking of barfing up: WEEKEND!
*most of all, Explainer guy. I’m not purposely excluding any part of him in that apology.
Apology accepted, don’t worry I have plenty of witty anecdotes about people I never met!
I spittaked in my living room when that happened last night. kudos to FX for restraining themselves when making promos for Sunny
a great comment is a great comment. and that was a really great comment. hat tip to you, sir.
YAY…it’s the weekend!!
Let’s all see Drive, dance, and ship for upvotes from Thisismynightmare
I would like to nominate this amazing comment by djfreshie for Lawblog’s Choice. People probably didn’t read it because it was so long, but man. Totally worth it.
http://videogum.com/373762/spongebob-squarepants-is-our-generations-gumby/justice/comment-page-1/#comment-8870502
I would in turn like to promote this comment that Lawblog made in the same comment thread, because I find his logic unimpeachable.
http://videogum.com/373762/spongebob-squarepants-is-our-generations-gumby/justice/comment-page-1/#comment-8871591
haha…I missed that one first time around. Great post djfreshie, you earned it!
tl;dr
Seriously though, thanks lawblog!
Now, If you don’t mind, I’m going to take my lawblog’s choice, my “Sideburns of the year award” I won in my grade 12 highschool yearbook (true story) and a trophy I have celebrating 2nd place in T-ball out for a walk.
Shoot, guys, I can’t lie…I never came in second in T-ball. I just bought a trophy and had them engrave my name and 2nd place on it (1st place would have seemed so obviously false) so I’d have something to put on my mantle other than my sideburns.
No no no, it’s not as creepy as you think that I keep my highschool sideburns on my mantle. I mean, I don’t keep them loose, they’re framed. And YES I had them write “2nd place” on the frame (so it would seem more believable.)
I’ll get you next week, top five spot! Next time!!!!! [reeeaaarrrooowwweeerrrrr!!!]
happy weekend monst0rz
“Anarchism” lol.
There is nothing worse than a pretentious Anarchismist. Ammiright?
LET’S DANCE!!!
I will never tire of this hair-do. Poor Whitney…sigh.
This guy. Jeeesh
My therapist says this will be bad for my malignant narcissism, but do wonders for my low self-esteem.
It’s Emma Goldman not Goldmun. If you’re going to cite the queen, at least spell her name right. And she was more of a socialist than an anarchist by today’s standards.
“Anarchists have a queen?”
LÖL
There were so many great comments this week! Everybody go nuts!
For real! I upvoted so many times my fingers hurt.
(But really because I had to stop my comforter from destroying a washing machine… it’s a stupid story. Actually that’s the story. I’m going to now be comforted by my beer.)
This really was, and I’m not just been agreeable – because I LOVE agreeing to disagree more than anything) a terrific comment week.
For the record, that Stereogum comment blew me away, hotspur. One of those things that make you feel inadequate as a commenter. If only there was some magical, steroid-like device that I could “juice-up” with to make myself more witty.
Oh yeah, there is! Alcohol.
Also: What the fuck is a Fudgesicle? I’m still scratching my brain on that one, and probably always will.
Libertarianism is not about abolishing the state, and there are a wide variety of beliefs that fall under the umbrella term “Libertarian.” Most Libertarians recognize that the state is something of a necessary evil, and so they think it serves a legitimate, if regrettable, function. That may seem extreme to some, but its certainly not anarchy. In my personal experience, which is admittedly limited, most people who call themselves Libertarians are simply expressing that they are socially liberal and economically conservative and distrust big government.
So, basically, your entire argument against demonkitty is wrong; you don’t seem to understand what Libertarianism is, and to call all Libertarians “full of shit” (if I understood that comment correctly) is kinda weird and crazy.
I love you Gabe! Well, not really. Admire? You’re cool or something. I’ve been coming to this site for years, and I’ve finally crawled out of my comment-less cave to talk…politics? On Videogum!? That is also kinda weird and crazy. Still, I wish you’d do a little research before you making sweeping claims about political parties or opinions.
A couple years ago, before the Tea Party emerged, I was big into Ron Paul and the concept of Libertarianism. I felt the two-party system was a joke, and really felt inspired by the idea of fucking it off and starting over. Which, actually, I still do, but I don’t think Libertarian values are the way to do that. Socially liberal, economically conservative is a farce though. It sounds great on paper, because I want everyone treated fairly, but don’t want control to be with some awful all-powerful centrist force. Unfortunately, human beings don’t really work that way. The theory that the private market would step up and fill the needs of a central government is pretty much debunked. Resetting the majority of decision making to states would make the country extremely unbalanced, and states can’t afford most programs Libertarians would prefer to see localized.
So yeah, the Tea Partiers busted out and made us all look like assholes, but even separate from that, I unfortunately don’t see that system working ever. What we have isn’t working either, and extreme socialism ala Communism didn’t look great. Sweden seems to have figured some shit out, but they talk funny so who even knows what that’s all about? Guess we’re just stuck in the suck.
Yay Friday! Drinks on me.
Well, just for the record, I’m not trying to glorify Libertarians. The only point I was trying to make is that Gabe does not understand what Libertarianism is, and if that’s the case, he should probably refrain from criticizing it.
I do disagree on a few points; for example, I don’t think that increasing states rights would lead to an unbalanced country. It would lead to greater variation amongst the states, but I think that would be a welcome change. Different states could try different policies; they could learn from each other in the process. I think it could allow positive change to occur much more quickly. For example (part of me thinks using this example might be a mistake, but…), if one state legalized drugs and saw a decrease in organized crime, disease, substance abuse, and a strong boost in their economy (as well as, say, tourism from other states), that might help other state abandon the War on Drugs. Okay, so now you know my stance on the War on Drugs; that wasn’t really the point. The point is that variation can lead to standardized (and, possibly, better) policies; it doesn’t have to be unbalanced. I also think its good to point out that many of our policies and institutions are unconstitutional and in direct violation of the 10th amendment. That doesn’t mean that they are bad policies or that we shouldn’t have them, but it does mean that we should be willing to change our constitution to support them.
That being said, the whole “private market” thing kinda creeps me out, ’cause I’m pretty sure there was a time when the private market employed children and hated safety regulations? And I know that seems like a long time ago but it also totally wasn’t? And while I admire Ron Paul and would gladly have him elected over Obama or any of the other GOP candidates, I also don’t understand how you can be pro-liberty and anti-big government but also be pro-life. And did you hear that he kinda doesn’t really believe in evolution? And he’s doctor!? Whaaaaa
in response to your comments I am forming the tl;dr party
Well, shit…you were my target audience!
TWO comments in one Top 5? I’m pretty excited right now, you guys! I might pass out or throw up. Or both!
Also when Kelly told demonkitty, “please feel free to give me a C- and tell me to see you after class,” she was hitting on him, right?
NOTE: Now I have TWO comments in the Monster’s Ball thread! THIS IS SO EXCITING TO ME PERSONALLY.
“I was 40 percent of this week’s best comments, bitches! Who wants to fight me?!? You? YOU? Yeah, I didn’t think so. R2, round up the ladies, we’re headin’ out.” — hotspur, later tonight at a bar, shortly before accidentally stabbing himself in the eye with his keys and then falling off a water tower.
Note: I am quite humbled by this honor, the many kind upvotes, and the assists I got from R2, Lilbobbytales and Dr Feelgood. Videogum remains a community I treasure more deeply than is advisable. The quote above is not set to be delivered until a very ugly 1:47 a.m., long after my humble celebration of another week here has spiraled out of control; and I apologize in advance for the fact that your night is going to end with having to find six athletic strangers to help trap me in a blanket donated by a homeless man for that exact purpose.
Why does this not have more upvotes?
That was Gabe who told demonkitty to “please feel free to give me a C-….” Goddamnit, pay attention, people.
So what do I get a prize? Or do I just get sent to the corner with Steve Windwood all weekend?
Also, Gabe, just fyi on the ‘Somalia meme’… Whenever anarchism is brought up anywhere on the intertubes, those of us who bother, because, you know, we might actually give a damn about people, are told to go live in Somalia for a week. Like that has anything to do with trying to establish an egalitarian society… Read that whole thread that arose there… some funny and good shit happened.
a poem…
While suborn pirates,
Cinch nuclear waste
From the simple minded,
We shoot them
With a toe to heel kick,
A grace note
To aphasia;
Because language is taken,
It is not your own.
The world no longer intends
What it pretends,
Or pretends what it means.
So we, suborned,
Are left with piracy.
I see we’re all just pretending this didn’t happen.
PARTY TIME!