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I’m pretty sure Bill Murray is a person that we all love, as much as we can love a person we will never know. Right? I don’t even know that much about Bill Murray, and the constant “no one will ever believe you” stories/myths/memes/WHATEVER can get a little old, mostly because I clearly don’t understand what they are at all, but generally I and everyone else love him and that will probably never change. So why don’t we all take that love and enter this weirdo Bill Murray poetry contest? Here is the weirdo explanation of it:
Bill Murray inspires us all! He turned his artistic energy into a world famous acting career. Now, it’s time to share your creativity and personal message with the world. Here’s your chance to write a poem for Bill. The best poems will be considered for publication and recording.
Well, I don’t know. Obviously this raises a lot of questions that I wasn’t able to answer with a quick look at the website. Publication where? Who would record it and for what? What is this thing even about at all? But it doesn’t matter, because when you win it you will win $1000 apparently, from someone, and who couldn’t use an extra $1000 from someone? Apparently? Nobody couldn’t! So here is my entry:
It’s a very well constructed Shakespearian sonnet, obviously:
When I go to a movie and see
A cast of those I do not know
Oh, but there is Bill Murray
I guess that we should prob’ly go
To the snack-y stand and get
A snack to have during the thing
I think that we should not forget
To also something chandler bing
Bill Murray, O’, what a guy
I like when he says famous quotes
“Got that goin’ for me which is ni-
ce,” is one I like the most
Holy moly what a poem
Something something nursing home
OMG that was so good and there are no flaws. Try to do a better one, but I am almost positive that there is no way you’ll be able to do a better one. (Thanks for the tip, Darci!)
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O Venkman! My Venkman!
Billy Murray’s the best
I want him to adopt me
Why is so cool?
Why is he so cool? Which would make this a haiku
Methinks that I shall never see
A Bill as lovely as Murray
I think that I shall never view
A name as odd as Zissou
I love it! But work on your meter.
“been a long time since i’ve made something good.
been a lon time since i’v done anything at all.
so sick of selling vodka in a crystal skull.
I need this.
O, woe is me.
why won’t you just do Ghostbusters 3?” – Dan Aykroyd’s entry
Just killed a gopher
Baby steps down to the bar
Cuz it’s Miller time
Bill, Bill
You give me a thrill
I love to watch
But kick it up a notch
This is all I got
I bet you think it’s hot
how did you know my high school’s favorite football game cheer? that is creepy.
Nice try. Got doesn’t rhyme with “hawt.”
But “gawt” does.
Fair deuce.
Dear Bill Murray
You were Garfield… twice
Never forget that
hey, Bill Murray:
more like Tale of Two Shitties!
(Garfield, not Dickens)
so much depends
upon
a groundhog seeing
his shadow
regardless of its
existance
I’ve done this 4,000 times
before
Bill Murray is a fucking awesome dude
and I enjoy watching him on the screen.
You know he must be a quite hoopy frood
to take on ghosts and woodchucks and the green
is safe from gophers. Oh! Though sometimes lewd,
he remains a gentleman in many scenes
though sr’sly, what’d he say to Scarlett Jo?
That ending bloody frustrated me.
Iambic pentameter is hard!
I’m going to whisper my winning poem into Scarlet Johannson’s ear and never, ever let Bill Murray know what it is just so he knows what it’s like.
I’d like to whisper my winning poem into Scarlet Johannson’s ear what am I even talking about anymore?
My hysteria over being that close to Scarlett Johansson would only be matched by the mass hysteria of dogs and cats living together.
Undeniable Truths And Definitely Not Libel, by Mailman
There once was an actor named Murray,
Word on the street is he smells just like curry,
Who knows the real truth,
If his aroma is uncouth,
But… I hear he’s a card-carrying furry.
Bill Murray is one of those guys
Whom you might say has a wild card side,
When he was a boy,
He bought a sex toy,
And totally raped himself, seriously, no Astroglide.
Listen all of these things might not be true
But one thing is real through and through,
Bill Murray is old,
His mind uncontrolled,
So do NOT ask what he thinks of the Jews
And honestly, just avoid him, whatever you do.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
HI BILL MURRAY ARE YOU READING THIS
all the upvotes. i would love to hear this one recorded, shell.
If he is, no one will believe it.
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Bill Murray ate my hamster
“No-one will ever believe you”
What did you whisper in her little ear?
What profound thought or feeling did you say?
On that busy street, did you say goodbye?
If I said I didn’t care, I would lie.
That one! little furry pain-in-the-ass,
Coming to and fro, destroying the grass.
You mutter and you whisper and wait–
No quarter, no respect–only hate.
Back and forth you oscillate, returning
To the same time and place, again, again.
Another rodent torments and haunts you.
Another world where life endlessly taunts you.
And all we do is watch, we the spectators
And continue to when we are specters.
Shakespearian sonnet ftw
Wanted to write a haiku
Somethings I just cannot do
But for Bill Murray?
A limerick! I’ll hurry
and write one, but just for you.
Bill Murray holds a place in all our hearts,
Yet, what of he the forgotten Murrays?
Does Brian Doyle deserve such scorn?
Where it not for he, Noah’s Arcade would be set adrift?
Do you not pay Joel any mind?
Without him, Cusack would have entered his Crazy Summer alone?
Have you spared a single thought to John?
Would Scrooged’s Frank Cross been redeemed without his brother James?
We all hold a place in our hearts for Bill Murray
but there’s room in there for more.
Bill Murray is the funniest actor, breeding
LOLs out of the dead dialogue, mixing
Hilarity and desire, stirring
Dull scripts with deadpan expression.
Zombieland kept us amused, covering
October in undead gore, feeding
A mediocre premise with incredible cameos.
Fantastic Mr. Fox surprised us, coming over the age barrier
With a flurry of intelligence; we paused at the puppeteering,
And went on in hope, into the second half,
And watched Michael Gambon, and laughed for an hour.
That’s just weak songwriting. You wrote a bad song, Petey!
And when we were children, watching the Ghostbusters,
My favourite, he took me out on an adventure,
And I was frightened. He said, Come on!
Let’s run some red lights! And through we went.
Into the paranormal, there you feel free.
I watch, much of the night, and go to Netflix and rent Rushmore in the winter.
I was of three minds,
Like a tree
In which I could watch either Ghostbusters, What About Bob?, or Lost in Translation.
Peter Venkman, Steve Zissou,
Spackler and Slater, to name a few.
You’ve starred with Goop’s goddess,
And Angel’s three,
You’ve even proved stunning
With face in a tree.
I’ve quoted and loved you,
Throughout your career.
(I’m even still wondering what you said in her ear.)
But Murray, my love,
I’m sorry to say,
I’ll never see Garfield,
No cussin’ way.
Thirteen Ways of Looking at Bill Murray
I
Among twenty Garfield sequels,
The only moving thing
Was the eye of Bill Murray.
II
I was of two minds,
Like a Ghostbusters trilogy
In which there are two films.
III
Bill Murray whirled in the non-fiction golf book section.
It was a small part of the career.
IV
Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell
Are one.
Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell
Are one.
V
I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of the Ramis
Or the beauty of the Anderson,
The career before Quick Change
Or just after.
VI
Christopher Guest fills the track listing
Of the Radio Hour box set.
The shadow of Bill Murray
Crossed it, to and fro.
The question
Of why they never worked together again
An indecipherable cause.
VII
O thin men of the Wu Tang,
Why do you drink herbal tea?
Do you not see how Bill Murray
Gargles oven cleaner
In the diners about you?
VIII
I know Chicago accents
And punctured, recumbent A’s;
But I know, too,
That Bill Murray played Polonius
In that Ethan Hawke thing.
IX
When Alexis Dziena walked out of sight,
It marked the edge
Of my attention span.
X
At the sight of Bill Murray
Improvising the last scene of Scrooged,
Even O’Donoghue
Would cry out sharply.
XI
Jordan Kerner rode over to the premiere
In a limousine.
Once, a fear pierced him,
In that he mistook
The image of Papa Smurf
For Steve Zissou.
XII
Ernie Hudson is moving.
Bill Murray must be checking his 800 number.
XIII
It was evening all afternoon.
I was karaokeing
And I was going to karaoke.
Bill Murray put his hands over my eyes.
“No one will ever believe you.”
I doff my more modest hat to you sir. Let be be finale of blog commenting.
very ambitious. the stanzas really stanza out (LOL4ever). This is my fave!
Bill Marrey, please dont be so mad
Indeed, an Oscar you’d love to win
Lost in Translation sucked, I might add
cause see,I d rather eat, my own foreskin
Bill Marrey, its not he first time
that you are being a complete dickhole
so dip your dick in a cup of lime
go ahead and fuck your eyehole
Groundhog day, it was awesome
you bitched again and you were right
but stick that movie in your bossom
cause you bitch, with all your might
pretending to be a zombie, sneaking on a man
like you did on zombie land,
is a stupid idea, if he bears a damn shotgun
I got bored.
Bill was insane.
He took a train.
To New Orleans.
In Search of some beans.
Turns out they couldn’t handle the Murricane.
My Bill Murray limerick.
hshutup94