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Uh oh! I am starting to get the very serious feeling that we are genuinely living in the Children of Men but for ideas. At this point, if anyone is ever discovered carrying a new idea around in their head, we are going to have to take them to the ocean under cover of night, risking everything to protect them.
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Say what you will, but nothing will stop the producers from making this show. They’re on a mission from God.
Wow. Things must be really bad out there, because I was all set to make a joke about a remake of the remake of The Munsters until I got to the end of the article and saw that it’s already happening. Back to the drawing board for everyone, apparently.
I have original ideas, but they are all just thinly veiled excuses to let me hug Adam Scott and Rashida Jones. So I don’t think the count. But still, hollywood, if you’re reading, call me.
I have an idea for a show. I play a TV executive who listen’s to TV pitches all day and when one of my employees pitches a remake it cues Vinnie Chase saying “Oh, I loved that show” and then I say “What? No” and then hit a gong that makes the employee and Vinnie Chase fall into a pool built beneath my office. The employee is fired and has to leave and Vinnie Chase has to return to my office until another employee recommends a remake.
“Ghost ______”
It’s a TV show or movie about a ______ who dies while doing ______ and becomes a ghost. Then the hijinx begin! He/she is doomed to haunt the ______ where he/she died doing all the _______ and at first they are all like “I am going to teach these kids a lesson” but then it turns out all along that the kids are teaching him/her!
TV Exec #1: “Let’s update Green Acres, except the lady is the one who wants to farm and the husband is the one who wants to stay in NYC!”
TV Exec #2: Brilliant! What about the pig?
TV Exec #1: We’ll CGI him in!
TV Exec #2: Does he talk?
TV Exec #1: He not only talks, he Jive Talks!
TV Exec #2: Are we married to the whole farm idea?
TV Exec #1: Thought you’d say that, so I’m thinking we transplant them to a suburb!
TV Exec #2: Fantastic! The burbs always play well! So how do we explain the pig?
TV Exec #1: A gift from their new neighbors, who happen to be a family of wizards and vampires!
TV Exec #2: So hot right now! Any celebrity cameos?
TV Exec #1: Ali Larter has signed on to play the town mayor who happens to have a crush on our male lead and is not shy about it, let me tell you!
TV Exec #2: Goddamn, do I love classic TV!!!!!!!
TV Exec #1: How long until we implant an alien character with magical powers that only the husband can see?
TV Exec #2: Why not throw him in right off the bat. Who do we get to voice? Bobcat Goldthwait? Jack Black?
TV Exec #1: That’s weird, I just got a text from Dom Deluise’s agent…
TV Exec #2: WE ARE ALL SET THEN
Have no fear, The Asylum is still making 2 Headed Shark Attack with Carmen Electra and Hulk Hogan’s daughter. (Real!)
Speaking of which – Children of Men would be a good movie to watch this weekend as we all celebrate the process of women going into labor.
Oh sure this gets made but I can’t get a ‘Ms. Swan’ movie off the ground despite years of campaign efforts? Fucking bullshit.