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Yesterday, a mostly-unsubstantiated report about Will and Jada Pinkett Smith getting separated ROCKED OUR WHOLE WORLD. These guys know what I’m talking about. (“This is our Royal Family!” – those guys.) It was all Twitter could talk about yesterday morning, so you KNOW it’s a big deal, and even in the afternoon when Twitter was overtaken by Earthquake Talk, half of the jokes were about how the earthquake was caused by the Will and Jada news, so. The point is: WHOA and YIKES and OMG and IF THEY CAN’T MAKE THEIR PERFECT LOVE WORK IN THIS MIXED UP WORLD, HOW DO THE REST OF US EVEN STAND A CHANCE?! (See also: “when God closes a marriage he opens a divorce.”) Then, after the Earth literally stopped moving, Will Smith’s son from another marriage (did NOT see that one coming) posted a Tweet that his dad and Jada weren’t getting separated. Soon after, Will and Jada themselves released a statement that their marriage is “intact,” which is kind of a weird statement to release? Intact? But so, OK, PHEW. But noooooowwwwwwwww, TMZ is reporting that although they aren’t getting separated right now, their marriage IS in trouble, and separation is “still definitely a possibility,” according to their INSIDER, and it’s just like, OH GREAT WE ARE RIGHT BACK WHERE WE STARTED. What are we even supposed to believe at this point about these two strangers’ that we’ve never met’s personal and private and mostly disingenuous-seeming marriage?! IS IT OR IS IT NOT FALLING APART?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
In completely unrelated news, I have donated to OXFAM twice this summer because I’m a really good person, and I highly recommend you look into it. They’re doing a lot of important stuff. Also, here’s a really good rumination on the ways in which David Foster Wallace’s style has influenced and possibly infected modern (particularly on-line) discourse and argumentation from last weekend’s Sunday New York Times Magazine. Oh, and this is a pretty good book about depression if you are depressed. And here is a picture of a kitten hugging ANOTHER KITTEN.
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Well, I guess that’s a good thing?
So is “cassette player” still in the dictionary or not?
“Yo homes, smell ya later!”
-Jada Pinkett
You could certainly say that their lives have got flipped turned upside-down.
What a relief! – no one
why are insiders always such dicks? if someone i knew told tmz i was getting divorced i would probably do my best not to know them anymore.
If that’s all you’d do, then you’re a very nice person.
Muuurder.
The MOST Earth-Shaking News I have heard this week, no question. I am literally shaking.
Stupid.
“Kids, you may have heard a lot of rumors that your father and I are getting a divorce. I just want to let you know that no matter what happens, we will always love your careers, and our insanely huge house.”
Text 99999 to SMITHFAM to donate to the Smith family during this possibly-difficult-possibly-not-at-all-difficult time. Normal texting charges apply.
Will and Jada?! More like Will-not (get divorced) and Jada!
zing!
I can’t keep up with these developments. More specifically, I can’t possibly make enough Will Smith jokes to keep up with these developments. ‘Welcome to divorce, maybe!’ See, that was awful. I can’t work under this pressure!
I’ve loved these Will/Jada posts. It’s nice to get some Gabe-pinion on things in the world outside trampoline accidents. Don’t get me wrong, I still check in here daily to make sure I’m always up to date on trampoline accidents, but maybe you could make these seriousgum posts a regular feature? Like the link round-up, but not just for pop-culture and cat videos?
Although…pop-culture is the point of this blog. And comments I make after getting home on the West Coast are never read by anyone, anyway. What am I saying? I’m so embarrassed! Retreat!