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Sure, people have been getting laid off in the tens of thousands, having their homes foreclosed on, their 401ks wiped away by an oscillating stock market. But up until now we’d assumed that Hollywood parties were going to be unaffected. UH OH. From Variety:
Don’t expect all the usual trimmings on the Hollywood party circuit this holiday season.
Showbiz party planners have begun to scale back soirees as part of industrywide belt-tightening. Several congloms have cancelled their holiday bashes, while others are simply toning down the revelry. After-preem bashes are also being reassessed in this economy.
“It would be foolish if we weren’t taking a look at it,” one studio exec said.
Noooooooo! Not the Hollywoood partiiiiiiiiiiiies.
A few of the changes that Hollywood party-goers should expect after the jump.
- Chocolate fountains will be made out of silver rather than the traditional gold
- Champagne will be limited to one Perrier-Jouet magnum per person per hour
- The sushi bar will be eaten off of plates rather than women
- Gift bags will only contain one complimentary first class ticket to space
- The music will be provided by DJs, rather than beloved deceased musicians resurrected from the dead for a final performance as a testament to wealth and exclusivity.
- Guests will be required to provide their own cocaine
Man, if Hollywood is going to start scaling back their parties, we’re all going to have to start doing some belt tightening. I, for one, have already stopped eating caviar bagels wtih diamond cream cheese every morning, and now when I go to Starbucks I get a venti no-fat water with a shot of ice. Get it? Starbucks drink descriptions are ridiculous! This is the worst economic crisis since the Great DeppreZING.
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NOOOOOO!!!! I’m not sharing my cocaine!!!
My response to anyone who asks is going to be, ” You didn’t put in on this, homie. Do you think this shit grows on trees?”
I was soo looking forward to bumping a line in SPACE and now I am so very sad- I guess i’ll just settle for of the back of the club toilet made out of platinum instead… MAN, THESE DIRE ECONOMIC TIMES, ARE STEALING MY SELF RESPECT.
depression has one ‘p”, ZING
that is kind of bad though. think of all the businesses that benefit from those dumbass parties. local florists, bakeries, drug dealers etc….
Well crying is free, so I’ve been spending most of my time gently sobbing alone, in the darkness. I would recommend the same thing for movie stars, but their tears are too precious to waste.
i’m not even sure what else was in that article because my brain shut down after i read ‘congloms.’
seriously? barf.
i’m as down for some ironic abbrevs as the next person – maybe even more so!
but come on, variety.
also, i have started reusing the elephant femur mugs that i have my sudanese orphan slave use to bring me my coffee in. usually i just have little ngembo just toss them into the constant cash-fire that i keep burning in my house to keep things toasty, since after one use the elephant femurs can make my coffee taste a little stale.
but i am doing my part, too, now.