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There’s nothing worse than when there’s a huge awful bug in a room and you freak out because they are terrifying and you tell everyone else to just please kill it so you don’t have to kill it yourself and you can finally live comfortably in your own house again, and someone says, “Aww, don’t kill ‘em! Let’s just put ‘em outside.” UGGGH. What, that person? I understand that life is important and it is a little unsettling to think of what you’re doing when you squish an ant or a gross centipede as taking a life, and I also understand that in some cases bugs are good like when they make it so people can have honey or whatever, but also THEY ARE GROSS AND SCARY AND I WISH THEY WERE ALL DEAD. And if it’s a flying insect, how are you supposed to catch it and put it outside?! If it flies out the window that is certainly best case scenario for everyone involved, but usually in these cases you’re already thinking endgame. Which is bug death. So you can live if your own house again that you pay so much money to live in.
In the beautiful (disgusting) short film you’re about to watch by Paul Kroeker, definitely a guy who says “just put ‘em outside,” you’ll see the beautiful (disgusting) last moments of a dying dragonfly. Oh, great. I’m so sure. Not even about anything in particular, I’m just SO SURE.
Oh, yeah. Look at its beautiful bug life. Look at its beautiful A Bug’s Life. Look at all of its beautiful bug memories. What a beautiful life its had, being huge and disgusting and scaring everyone it comes in contact with and not caring about how scary it is at all because it has no idea because it is a bug and probably doesn’t even care if its alive or dead at all. I wish we could move all the bugs into their own free-range bug farm where they can just scare each other for the rest of all of their lives and then we wouldn’t have to deal with any of them. I hate bugs. (Via BoingBoing.)
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Dragonflies are rad.
Hey maybe that bug used to be a salesman
Best thing in Sky Mall
I didn’t think Sky Mall sold things that fall under the absolute necessity category, but apparently they’re branching out.
I am with Kelly on this one. Bugs are almost as bad as camping.
If you go camping you wake up covered in bugs, if you go bugs you don’t wake up covered in camping, so yes camping is worse
Exactly! Camping is just so many terrible things combined to make one huge terrible thing.
I’m going to have to disagree here. Camping is indeed the combination of many terrible things. But, at least for me, it almost always includes the consumption of meat cooked over fire and AT LEAST one 12-pack of beer. The beer alone is usually enough to make me forget, literally, most of the terrible things.
If you can’t figure out how to keep out the bugs when you are camping maybe YOU are the one who should get squished?
That said, fuck all bugs everywhere forever. I would gladly choose no more honey over getting stung by a bee at least once every summer of my life.
I haven’t been stung by a bee in a long time, even though I run like an idiot every time I see them which is the opposite of what you’re supposed to do, I’m also allergic so I’m lucky I’m not stung a lot
I grew up in the country next to a farm, and there were always a lot of bees, wasps, hornets, etc. around. My dad would always say “if you don’t bother them, they won’t bother you” which is a God Damn Lie.
I’ve been stung SO MANY times when just minding my own business, eating a PB&J or whatever (kids rule). More than once, I’ve watched a bee land on my leg, thought “Ok, Ok, just let it be, it’ll realize you’re not a flower and be on it’s way” and then watched it sting me and fly off. Fuck you, bees!
if it stung you and flew off, it probably wasn’t a bee.
On the other hand, if FOX was a little more like Paul Kroeker, there’s one bug we’d still have with us.
#neverforget
RIP Firefly. You are missed.
Aw, hell.
Remember that scene in the Temple of Doom where Willie is like,
and then Harrison Ford is all,
or something?
I don’t know. It was bug-related, cut me some slack.
I let spiders out only because they do a lot of the killing of bugs for me. But if it’s a centipede, I’m going to kilil the fucker and go after its family like a goddamn serial killer.
I want mosquitoes to tell stories around their campfires about me to scare their little mosquito children. I want my name to live in infamy in mosquito lore.
How can you live in Edmonton? I was there for three days and my entire body was covered in bites.
I AM SO ITCHY ALL THE TIME. I have a mosquito bite on the sole of my foot right now.
This would have worked better if your avatar had a face in it.
I know at least one person who understands where you’re coming from.
That goddamned movie that I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN is really turning into the bane of my existence. What will it take for everyone to stop reminding me of human centipedes?
I meant to type kill. Actually I meant to write KILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILL which now doesn’t even look like letters.
I see where you’re coming from, Kelly, though maybe you’re a sissy, who knows, I’m not going to call you a sissy but there are people who might.
HOWEVER, dragonflies are genuinely beautiful and they eat more than their weight in mosquitoes every day.
The only thing I miss about having roommates is that there’s nobody I can force to kill the terrifying prehistoric looking centipedes for me anymore
Remember that part in King Kong (the new one) where that giant centipede crawls on Naomi Watts and sticks it’s antennae in her mouth? THE BWORST*.
*New word meaning simultaneously best and worst
You have just guaranteed that I will never see that movie.
Good word. I tried to do the same thing for a while by calling such thing “the west” and people just never seemed to get it for some reason.
Are you in Texas because we found a giant hardshell red and black centipede that looked like it escaped from the depths of hell minutes before my friend’s wedding in Austin. It was at least a foot long and looked like it was made of plastic.
Ironically, because I’m used to the ones that look like worms with giant legs, my absolute vile hatred of centipedes wasn’t sparked and we kind of played with it using a stick for awhile.
But those worms with legs? I FOUND ONE ON MY SHOULDER when I was typing up a paper in college and ran up and down my hallway screaming. My floor mates did not find this entertaining at all. They really didn’t. It was around 1:30 a.m. But then when I told them what happened — seriously, on my shoulder kind of standing on half of its legs in some raised position — they were nice about it. And that’s not even the creepiest centipede story I have.
That is a horrifying story. I’ve never had one on me, but my kitchen sink is, I swear to god, the #1 hotspot for centipedes.
This is what the Texas centipede looked like:
If I were you and saw anything like this coming out of my drain I’d move out and set everything on fire. Everything.
Sorry the image is so big, but… [shudder]
A few years back I waged a war between Summer & Winter, trying to figure out if either season had a distinct edge over the other.
After much internal scientific debating (read: thinking) I concluded that since Winter kills a vast majority of the bug population that Winter is the Victor. Sorry Summer, but I hate bugs.
I was in Kenya, and I was looking into what was supposed to be a pool for a fish-farm, but it only had a few feet of terrible water in it. I looked up and not 5 inches away from my face with this blue, horrible spider about the size of a hand span. I didn’t panic. I went and got my Off Deep Woods, a rag, a stick and a lighter. As I was burning the spider to the death it clearly deserved because his cousin was in the shower with me and spiders are like Nazis, all on the same team and everything, another white lady yelled at me “It has just as much of a right to live as you do.” I said, “Go say that on the Masai Mara.” Which wasn’t remotely a cool line at all and she thought “What an ass hole.” I like to think that if I didn’t burn that hell-spawned monster, she’d have gotten bit by it so she owes me like, everything.
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Entomologygum.
Relax, technojeremy ferns!
So, I always take bugs outside in a cup, because I believe in karma and I think it lessens the chances that somebody will think I’m gross and wad me up in a kleenex (I’m pretty gross so there’s a real threat here).
That said, am I the only one who thought this video was kind of more funny then sad? I think it needs more, like the Dragonfly wooing its first love, getting a degree from Dragonfly U, seeing its child take its first steps, etc.
Forgetting to sign the dragon fly life insurance policy to provide for its millions of offspring…
It’s available through naturehouseinc.com and means you can avoid killing, or even touching, bugs and insects.
This ‘do non humans deserve empathy’ theme has been going on for about a month now and I am over it. This was my happy place and its not any more. I don’t know if videogum is changing or I am changing but lately I just don’t get as blissed out by reading it lately and things like this actually bum me out. Whatever. Its been a great few years of lurking and I have gotten alot of joy from this site and all of you.
Q: How do you tell who is the vegan at your party?
A: Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.