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Yuck. Corporations may be a lot of things, but one thing they are not is “people.” What an asshole for saying that to actual human beings! During an economic crisis! Oh brother. Maybe, MAYBE, you could get away with that in a stump speech to a pile of fax machines, but even then the fax machines would probably be like “BEEEEEEEP BLOOOOOP FUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUU HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.” Then again, there is nothing more genuinely human than watching beads of panic-sweat pop off of a dying dude’s forehead as an entire crowd of people screams at him and he realizes that he has made a terrible mistake. Poor little guy. Poor little awful, over-tanned, self-satisfied, completely out of touch millionaire piece of shit guy. (Via GotchaMedia.)
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Sometimes if you just say something is something it just might be something. I say you do it – His campaign guy
oh and be sure to add “My friend”. RELATING.
I took that to mean that Romney IS Steve Winwood. No one can convince me otherwise.
It always bugs me when people define things by saying they _are_ something else. Words have meanings!
Come on, be fair. He does at least have a point.
Oh wait, no he doesn’t. Just an asshole.
Sadly, he is telling the truth:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporate_personhood
Yeah–this isn’t totally off. The right to personhood in respect to certain laws and rights is the whole sine qua non of corporations existence. He puts it poorly/terribly/awfully, but corporations are, in fact, sort of, through some lenses, people.
The thing is, it’s not the point he was trying to make, if you hear what he says at the end. He was trying to say “Don’t hate corporations! All those zillions that they make in profit, without having to pay equivalent taxes, it’s okay! Because they employ people like you! And you! And, yes Victoria, even you!”
Which is a genuine belief that a lot of right-wingers have. The reason they cut corporate taxes, let them dump toxic waste without paying for the consequences, subsidize them, etc, is that they believe that corporations as entities are more important to the economy than the ordinary workers who are employed by them. Because people are lazy freeloaders, but corporations are perfectly run responsible things that make life better for everyone.
Corporations are not Pockets!!
I read that as Corporation are Hot Pockets.
Delicious.
Corporations are just trying to put food (like Hot Pockets) on their families
More like corporations are like Hot pACK!ets
Would somebody please explain that to 5/9 of the Supreme Court? Perhaps we could get them a Duh Aficionado subscription.
Someone just failed the Voight-Kampff test.
Took me a second to remember what that was. I have been rolling over laughing since
Signed in to upvote this. Like Sean, it took me a second. Then I LOLed.
If you think of corporations as people, doesn’t that mean that corporations should have the same civic responsibilities as individual citizens? If an individual person shouldn’t deserve tax breaks and loopholes and subsidies (even after fucking the collective economy), why should a corporation?
Civic responsibility is socialism. And Obama’s request we donate our day off from work in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. to volunteer and help make this country better is just proof he doesn’t understand real ‘Merica.
It’s also another reason I like him, even if he’s placating to the Right wing.
CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE
-Charlton Heston’s ghost campaigning for Mitt Romney
Oh no, I’ve committed Idea-giarism below.
* iStabs self in e-stomach with abstract concept of katana sword *
I prefer mind meld, it sounds much more positive, working together we did it
Ian, you are so forgiving, I am suspicious that you are a spam-bot, programmed only to forgive. If so, kudos to your developer. The pop culture algorithm you use must be state-of-the-art.
WELL HE SURE HAS A LOTTA CHOOT-SPA!
Also someone needs to inform Mitt Romney that the one strand of hair he always has combed over to where his hairline was when he was 25 is not fooling anybody.
Mitt Romney is completely forgetting about Soylent Green, LLC.
Other things that are people:
Soylent Green
Long pig
It’s true: http://www.buysoylentgreen.com/
If corporations were people, then Apple would be Tyler Perry.
I know you hate Apple but I don’t think they’re racist, even though a lot of their stuff is white
They put their name all over the place and try to substitute brand recognition for quality, they have their own rabid fanbase, and everything they put out is nearly identical.
I’m admittedly a Mac/i-Pod user so maybe I’m just biased, but I’ll never understand the anti-Apple hate.
Yeah, where are the black Macbooks? Psssh.
They actually only sell silver MacBooks now. For what it’s worth.
That’s racist to gold people.
This guys knows what that feels like:
Something tells me that guy never feels anything but excitement. And by something I mean boner.
They got shipped to Africa in boxes padded with the Miami Heat 2011 NBA Champions t-shirts.
On that timeline, Gabe would be the Dutch East India Company.
“Soylent Green is corporations!”
Every time someone says “my friend” all I hear is “please punch me repeatedly.”
McCain ’08: “Please punch me repeatedly!”
If corporations are people then I really fucked up my google+ circles
Xiamen Omnisen Industrial & Trade Co., Ltd is now following Patrick M.
Sure, Patrick Swayze says, “pain don’t hurt,” and he’s a lovable badass, but this makes Mitt a bad person? It’s just a double standard is all I’m saying. (Paid for by the Counsel of Non-Sequiters for Mitt Romney)
If Soylent Green wasn’t still #2 on my Netflix list I’d get all these jokes!
Tyler Durden is the same person as Bruce Willis who has been on Earth all along and has also been dead all along but before he died, he was Luke “Kaiser Soze” Skywalker’s father, however, Luke is the name of the sled.
Spoilergum.
Wait a second, maybe he’s talking about restricting basic rights to corporations. I mean gays are people too and he signed this: http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20088274-503544.html
Mitt Romney wants to deny Pitchfork the right to marry.
So is Duh Aficionado a bi-weekly now? They don’t seem to have a strong grasp on maintaining a schedule over there.
It has become a digital publication to cut costs. Time doesn’t exist on the interwebs.
DUH!
Nice sneak peak of next summer’s hit TV ad! All that’s missing is an ominous black and white video filter and “I’m Barack Obama, and I approve this message” at the end.
I think Mitt Romney might be a socialist! …Hear me out.
So, a corporation makes a zillion dollars. Many of those dollars go to the POCKETS of its CEO (and a few others at the top. (Important point: that CEO is technically a human being). Mitt Romney believes that when that when those pockets are overflowing, those dollars are going to help make the average non-CEO’s life better. It isn’t going to happen by magic, so it must be that the wealth will be, wait for it, spread around somehow. And that this is a good thing. To the PEOPLE. Mitt Romney is a socialist.
I rest my case.
I for one welcome our new corporation overlords.
Politically correct term is Corporate-Americans, you bigot.
Of course, he didn’t mean what he said. Of course he doesn’t believe corporations are people. In fact he believes corporations are much more important than people.
Merriam Webster needs to redefine the words “people” and “human-beings” to not include walking and talking pieces greedy garbage.
Well… corporations DO have social security numbers, so…. Nope. Still not people.
Whatever happened to angry crowds instantly becoming furious, vengeful mobs? Come on people, light your electric torches, pick up your pitchforks constructed from recyclable materials and chase this fuck up a Goddamn hill already!
I know plenty of real people that appear out of nowhere and give politicians a million dollars and then vanish into nothingness. Totally normal stuff that people do. http://on.msnbc.com/qLkQ0y
Who’s pockets Mr. Romney? Why surprise, it’s YOUR pockets! Hope you have enough fancy pockets to hold all of the money!
yeah, that story blew my socks off last week. Wish I knew people with money to launder, because I has new schemes
But it’s true! I know because I dated Wal-Mart briefly through Match.com. We shared an interest in NBC programming and playing Words on our Apple iPhones. We also had this thing about making homemade mac and cheese from Kraft products.
my ri.ch.corp.orate boyfri.eind is older than me
and also a corporat.ion
but he love me and my youth
come to http://corporate.match.com and meet older corporations, no shame! E V E R Y O N E Love my old corporation boyffriens
Is he older? Because I only like to date older men that think the same as me. LOL.
Not to be a total nerdlinger about this, but if he had said, “corporations are made up of people” or “corporations consist of people” would we be having this discussion? That is to say, are we more outraged by the flub in phrasing, or by the fact that Mitt Romney does not think stockholders should have to pay more to support certain federal programs?
It’s not a slip, he means it. It’s part of the way these right-wing mad men and Tea Party people are raising money. The Supreme Court allowed corporations to donate unlimited and undisclosed amounts of money, reversing what Russ Feingold and John McCain managed to stop in 2003. Lots of links to this above, but here’s the actual info on the Supreme Court decision that let this happen in convenient Wikipedia form: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citizens_United_v._Federal_Election_Commission.
You should also really click on the link about Corporate Personhood. And good luck sleeping ever again, because this is TERRIFYING.
But dogs? Definitely not people. http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1638065,00.html
Poor women who want abortions? Probably not either… http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL0706/S00066.htm