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We talk a lot here on Videogum about how it makes us feel a bit uncomfortable when we see animals getting treated better than the way most human beings are treated. That’s kind of “our thing.” “Videogum — It’s a website about how on the one hand it’s very cute and nice when we see animals getting a second chance at life through over-the-top means, but also how on the other hand it makes you feel uncomfortable when you put it in this context,” is what I say to all of my relatives when they ask what I do for a living. I do have to carry around that picture in my wallet but hey that’s the job. But when you have a story about a turtle getting a wheel for a leg, for instance, it’s not SO difficult to look past the fact that maybe there are some legless humans who could’ve used that wheel and onto the fact that Awww, turtle. Because turtles are already very silly, and a turtle with a wheel leg is extra silly. But when you have a story about a dog, after being taken on a mountain hike with its owners and getting too tired to go back down the mountain after the hike is over, spending the night on the mountain with its owners so it could, the next day, be airlifted “to safety,” well.
I don’t know, you can only point out how backwards things are so many times before the point your making becomes tiresome, but A HELICOPTER? BECAUSE THEY COULDN’T CARRY THE DOG AND THE DOG WAS TIRED AND ALSO HAD CUTS ON ITS PAWS? Listen, do you know how many times I’ve done something halfway and then decided that I was way too tired to actually complete what I was doing and just wanted to lie down and die? And I’m not even a starving child! Here are some examples:
- Riding a bike over the Brooklyn bridge.
- Shopping at Ikea and realizing that all of the shit I wrote down wasn’t actually in stock.
- Walking home in a snow storm. This was actually just that I wanted to lie down and die at the halfway point.
- Travelling to Philadelphia on a bus.
- Going to the beach using public transportation.
- Moving to a new apartment.
- Being on the phone with internet provider.
- Walking somewhere far away only to realize that that places closes 20 minutes before you got there.
- Going somewhere and then realizing that the train you took there won’t be running when you’re going to want to go home.
- Any physical activity.
But sometimes you just have to SUCK IT UP and MOVE FORWARD. Now, I’m sure that this dog is not a human and you can’t just tell a dog to “suck it up.” But also this dog is not a human and maybe you shouldn’t call the police and have them send a helicopter for it because it is tired. I’m not sure what they should have done in this scenario, but I feel like they could have at least just had the police send someone up the mountain with a dog carrying case and then carried the dog down the mountain? Actually, when I said I wasn’t sure what they should have done, that was a lie. They should have just done the exact thing that I just said. Or any other of the many reasonable options I’m sure there could have been. Everyone’s an idiot and it is very upsetting.* (Via Abroath.)
*Also Videogum’s “thing.”
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You guys, I’m not so sure they got this Airwolf remake quite right.
“This post is worse than the Norway shootings.”
-Morrissey
“Dogs do deserve the same treatment as humans, Gabe. Your post is the new 9/11″
-Morrissey
If my dog wanted to use a helicopter to change positions on the couch, I would let him.
He’s better than any person so he can have all the helicopters he wants. True story.
I was kind of thinking the same thing. About your dog. But really about my dog.
I’d do the same thing too That One. Fuck these human scum/parasites.
I can honestly say I cannot think of a better use for a helicopter than helping a dog out.
This is exactly right.
Yes!
Oh, I don’t know, maybe HUNTING NAZIS?
Only if the Nazis forced a tired dog to walk down a mountain with CUTS on his PAWS!!!
Mutt Romney + Michelle Barkmann 2012
Those people are worse than Paltrow.
While the San Dimas police were busy devoting their precious resources to a dog rescue, a local sporting goods store was being completely trashed by some deranged Mongolian guy.
Alex Winter approves of this message.
Air Bud 5: Fetch the Chopper
Air Bud 6: Crotchsniffhanger
Air Bud 7: 127 Hours, in dog years.
That’s weird, considering Baxter has survived way worse…?
You mean eating a whole wheel of cheese?
Such a funny scene…I forgot about it! Now I cannot stop laughing.
I get both sides of this argument. On the one hand, rescue helicopters are, to the best of my knowledge, crazy expensive, and this situation seems like it could have been avoided had the owners had more foresight. I am not saying the dog should not have been rescued, nor am I wishing ill on either the dog or the owners, but it is frustrating to see, especially in this economic climate.
On the other hand, puppy!!!
I just don’t know, guys.
Right, just send the owners a bill. That was a dumb move on their part. Poor doggy!
It was the cops’ decision to send the helicopter as opposed having a few of them put down the doughnuts long enough to scale the mountain and bring the dog down. Send the cops the bill.
I agree that this scenario is ridiculous, but I would like to say that we all have sufficient humanity (and money) to be kind to people and animals. I remember when the recent shootings were happening and people were floating the false choice of either showing sympathy for Amy Winehouse OR showing sympathy for the victims in Norway. And I think it bears noting that people who show kindness to animals tend to be similarly kind to other humans. Human suffering doesn’t result from extraordinary kindness to animals; it stems solely from those in society who don’t pull their humane weight. *Fart*
I hate it when people assume sympathy is this finite resource, for sure. *buuurp*
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Ha, ha, I am not kidding. Not even a little. There are sufficient resources in the world to help all people. The problem is the uneven distribution and/or application of those resources (as has been the case throughout history). Sorry to get all factual.
The fact that this story came out the same day I learned no new animals could be added to the Environmental Species Act as per the conditions of the new debt ceiling agreement made me very angry about the very wealthy and unwise that populate Southern California. However, it’s not the dog’s fault that his owners took him hiking through rough terrain w/out the proper equipment and we should be very happy they didn’t leave him out to die. Odds are they *will* have to pay for the rescue so at least there’s that. Plus it makes really good news as everyone wants to watch it for the heart string pulls and anger at the stupid and wealthy.
But this is the same basic area where idiots build in bear habitats and freak out when bears start eating their fruit and swim in the pools (also amazing TV footage). Eventually the rangers told the rich people to fuck themselves, which was my favorite story ever. Oh, I used to work at this station.
If you take your dog hiking in the desert, you make him wear booties. Every single “hike with your dog in Southern California” book tells you to do this and shows you how to make them out of tiny pieces of cloth or leather if you’re in an emergency. If you can afford a helicopter, you can afford a dog hiking book and some booties.
You also need to watch your dog for signs of dehydration — extreme panting, purple tongue when it’s usually pink, etc. You bring a ton of water and you cool down your pup and end the hike/walk when they’re ready to go. My pup got really overheated just playing fetch in the park on Saturday and that itself was terrifying. And we had water and shade and it wasn’t the goddamn desert. Be safe, pups and pup owners.
chris christy’s reign at the top of the Helicopter Abusers Most Wanted list was brief, but memorable. he is now requesting aerial assistance to be taken to down to spot #2…
I actually think this was a less abusive use of a helicopter than “avoiding traffic to get my kid’s little league game.”
It’s a sweet gesture of compassion from the owners and community, but that dog will forget this ever happened the next day.
I cock my head quizzically at the assumption of a zero-sum game.
Helicopters for everyone, all the time, carrying buckets of gifs.
This just upsets me because my 18lb Beagle Terrier mix is just REFUSING to be a direwolf and my disappointment swells everyday.
Have you tried getting assassinated? Some diredogs only shine under pressure!
I’d like to present to Monster court, the following from Jon Stewart’s little-known stand up act:
“Veterinary medicine has advanced to the point where it’s like human medicine, and incredibly expensive. And cats… are free. So it puts them in a really tenuous bargaining spot.
Let’s say you got a cat and it gets hurt, blows out a knee. The vet’s like, ‘Alright, we did an MRI and she has a torn anterior cruciate ligament, and a medio-collateral ligament, we’re gonna do a total reconstruction. What we do is we fly a guy in from Colorado, we’re going to take a tendon from the cat’s forearm, and we’re going to attach it with 4 titanium plugs, we’ll tighten it down. Then, after 6-8 weeks of a hydro therapy program, to loosen it to a certain extent, we’ll go in orthoscopically to remove the titanium plugs, and then after 6-8 months of therapy and possibly some other surgical procedures, your cat should be around 90 percent.’
Peoples’ reaction is always the same: ‘Huh! Wow! … Y-You can do that??
Uhh…. do you have any other cats?‘ “
“That’s what you get for going on a stupid hike in the first place.”
–every cat
“This is why no one would airlift you off a mountain”
- Every dog, to those cats
Kelly, are you sure you don’t keep THAT particular picture in your wallet just in case you need to convince bartenders that you’re not racist?
http://videogum.com/110521/you_can_make_it_up_scott_baio/franchises/you-can-make-it-up/
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once i was hiking and when i was on top of the mountain it started raining and i slipped and snapped my leg in two. it was all broken, and my friends had to go find help, and this group of park people came and strapped me to a board and lifted me over their heads and fucking HIKED ME OUT OF THERE. it was amazing and they all had very kind faces and looked like coach taylor (my friends later told me this was not true, and that i was probably in shock).
anyway, a helicopter seems a little excessive for a dog. but i’m glad everyone’s ok. it’s sad when animals are hurt bc they don’t know what’s going on.
I like videogum’s thing
TWSS. (had to be done).
Basically any logic that humans deserve better than animals because we are human and lets protect our genetically similar first is indefensible morally once you break it down into a serious of propositional arguments and look at the morality of those arguments and historically, WHO used them in other contexts, you will find yourself in no good company.
Animals are great and I wish all dogs had helicpotors.
no sarcasmo.
The dogs will have to ask the chickens for a loan. Apparently they have been using them all to fight for bovine freedom..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI
‘We will fight for bovine freedom, and hold our large heads high’
It’s good to see that Tila Tequila has found gainful employment!
worlds most manipulative dog fulfills dream of soaring above the earth in helicopter
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Yeah! Happy Birthday you stupid idiot, Gabe!