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Oof. This video breaks my heart. Remember, you guys, it’s important to start things when they are supposed to be started. If you start them too early or too late there’s a very good chance that you will be disqualified. An older and wiser person might tell you that this is not true. They might tell you that life is simply a collection of a multitude of experiences, and that each experience, whether it is perceived at the time as “good” or “bad” is simply another meaningful push along the road and that you learn as much from your failures as you do from your successes, so that ultimately what is important is simply to LIVE, to take things as they come, from one experience to the next, to deal with things as best you can, and to always be moving forward and embracing the confusion, pain, joy, and wisdom that you collect along the way. But I’m telling you, JUST START ON TIME. Belly-flopping into the pool by yourself at the race is FUCKING EMBARRASSING. Start on time. Just start on time. Wait for the signal. Start on time. On your marks. Get set. Start on time. (Via StuffIStoleFromTheInternet.)
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GABE!
Shit, it’s Gabe’s Birthday? Um, Happy Birthday Gabe! I got you lukewarm coffee and a half-eaten danish!!! Surprise!
From all the Monsters!
http://youtu.be/BqNNDQsyQQ4
Wait a second, it’s hard to make out what the announcer was saying there, but maybe he was saying “belly flop into the pool right now.” So that one guy won! And all the laughter coming from the audience was directed at the other five lazy guys who did not start on time. I’m embarrassed for the other swimmers. Congratulations, that one guy!
Kind of like how if a person were to start reading Videogum now, they would only get like 8% of the jokes. You’re too late, new monsters!
Fake and Silverlake.
I think it makes us feel special, like snowflakes. Weird, deformed snowflakes.
You Can Make It Up: A New Monster Suddenly Gets a Videogum Inside Joke and Feels An Overwhelming Sense of Belonging
Trogologofag50 logged into his Videogum account and read the daily news. He was a new Monster, and didn’t get it that he needed to be up on his shit if he was going to get a comment in early, but he was also a new Monster, so no one was going to upvote him anyways. And so, he lurked.
Suddenly, he scrolled past a comment on a post written Kelly. Frank Lloyd Wright had said, “Nice post, Gabe!” And Trogologofag50 got it! Everyone was intentionally confusing Kelly for Gabe! This made him immensely pleased. Under that comment, facetaco had said “Shut the fuck up, FLW!!” And Trogolofag50 got that as well! It wasn’t mean-spirited at all. It was an ongoing reference to The Big Lebowski! The Dude abides, indeed, he thought.
Trogologofag50 sat back in his chair, and grinned the largest grin. “This is the dawning of a new day,” he said aloud, to no one in particular. He clicked “Reply” on facetaco’s comment. “You’re my favorite, facetaco” he wrote, and clicked submit.
20 minutes and 45 downvotes later, Trogologofag50, his face soaked with tears, desperately longed for that fleeting sensation of belonging that, little did he know, would take months to rebuild.
Oh GOD, Frank Lloyd WRONG*, I am so sorry dude
The ironing is delicious.
u r Togologofag50, but u r bitch
tl;dr
is this still a thing?
WHOA WHOA WHOA – maybe it isn’t obvious, but I did read Mailman’s post. I just thought I’d dump some VG jokes in this thread.
Now MY face is covered with tears.
#not #idon’tgiveacare
Now I’m just replying to myself for symmetry.
tmp;crta
We can all laugh at this, but his girlfriend has seen him jump the gun a few too many times to find it funny anymore.
poor guy must fuck like dog shit
Where did this start?
Last Week’s Entourage ep http://videogum.com/345182/entourage-s08e02-turtles-outfits-as-metaphor-for-the-end-of-culture/tv/recaps/
Thanks. That explains why I missed it.
I’ve actually done this, thankfully pre-youtube. The only people to see my fall of the block were the 200 people in the stands.
Though in my defense, I start with both feet forward which is less stable than this guy’s one foot back start.
Swimmer Jokes! I think the WORST swimmer failure is without a doubt when your goggles fall off. Uggghh.
This guy has never been late to anything in his life ever, I’m sure
He’s never had anywhere to be.
The Anti-VISA: He’s nowhere you want to be.
A lot of times swimmers false start on purpose to get into the water and get their body acclimated. Also to psyche out the other swimmers. But at most meets the whole field only gets 2 false starts, so if someone’s already false-started, and then you false start, you’re out. At least that’s how it was on my high school swim team. It always seemed a bit harsh.
So this poor guy must be really pissed at the other swimmer who already false started before him.
I always thought that was so unfair!
early bird catches the embarrassment and disqualification apparently
Im just really glad no one made a black people don’t know how to swim joke… Its nice being part of a community that wouldn’t go there. (went there).
It’s because racist people don’t know how to post.
¡ʇsod oʇ ʍoɥ ʍouʞ ʎlsnoıʌqo ı puɐ ʇsıɔɐɹ ɐ ɯ,ı
¡¡¡oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou
Obligatory:
I didn’t realize I needed to see that to get through the day but I totally did.
You guys remember when Linford Christie was DQ’d at the 1996 Olympics for too many false starts? And no one was sad except British people, because he seems like a jerk?
#nostalgicsportsgum