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Whoa. You guys, it’s basically August. How did THAT happen? (I’m not afraid to ask the tough questions.) There must be a German word for when you suddenly realize that half of the summer is already over but you don’t feel like half the summer is over and as far as you were concerned summer has barely started although now that you think about it there has been a heat wave for, like, six weeks, and how long do you really expect summer to go on for anyways. Those guys have a word for everything LOLOL! (Jokes about crazy German words, 2011 and then jokes about it being 2011, 2011: T.G.I.F.!!!)
After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Brad Pitt And George Clooney Wax Statue Pals Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments
| #5 |  |
Steve Winwood | Jul 25th | Score:55 |
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“I hate America.” – Comrade Gabe Videogumsky |
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| Posted in: The Videogum Movie Club: Captain America: The First Avenger | |||
| #4 |  |
Godsauce | Jul 26th | Score:56 |
| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Brad Pitt And George Clooney Wax Statue Pals | |||
| #3 |  |
werttrew | Jul 27th | Score:57 |
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Dialog we can anticipate: “Captain, the tumor? It turns out it was B9.” “I’m grateful you told me B4 I called my wife!” “The aliens are using C4!” “You’ve revealed the secret plans, Jenkins?? A2, Jenkins?!?” “Don’t try 2B a hero, Smith. Just B1.” |
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| Posted in: Which Of Today’s Two Terrible Movie Trailers Is More Terrible Than The Other One (Which Is Still Very Terrible)? | |||
| #2 |  |
Son of Gabe | Jul 27th | Score:64 |
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To be fair Gabe, you were a kid before fun was invented by Alfred T. Fun in 1634. |
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| Posted in: An Open Letter To The Disease Of Nostalgia | |||
| #1 |  |
topknot | Jul 27th | Score:96 |
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I can’t wait until I will read this letter again 10 years from today and miss Videogum. |
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| Posted in: An Open Letter To The Disease Of Nostalgia | |||
[Assoc. Ed. Note: Hey, topknot! That's the second week in a row, right? GREAT JOB! You're really killing it. It's totally dead and you've killed it, congratulations. And Godsauce, your post also won the Caption Contest! My goodness. What a bunch of greedy winners, am I right.]
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment
| #1 |  |
KajusX & Chainsaws | Jul 26th | Score:-26 |
| Please downvote this. I’ve disappointed myself. | |||
| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Brad Pitt And George Clooney Wax Statue Pals | |||
[Assoc. Ed. Note: "You got it, dude." - Michelle from Full House. Nostalgia. Get it? We talked about nostalgia this week.]
This Week’s Caption Contest Winner
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Godsauce | Jul 26th | Score:56 | |
| Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Brad Pitt And George Clooney Wax Statue Pals | |||
[Ed. Note: Congratulations, Godsauce! You earned it.]
This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice
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Kate | Jul 25th | Score:-4 | |
| Love this recap! I don’t even want to watch the show now. I think it would pale in comparison. | |||
| Posted in: Breaking Bad S04E02: DJ Roomba In The House | |||
[Assoc. Ed. Note: Hahahah, this is my favorite because this is my mom. So she said a real mom thing? And then a bunch of people downvoted her. Hahah, awww. I am laughing IRL.]
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
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Gabe | Jul 28th | Score:19 | |
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My family knows what is in my heart. |
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| Posted in: First Look At The Men Of The Hunger Games | |||
[Ed. Note: That's right, I gave MYSELF the Editor's Choice this week. DEAL WITH IT DOT GOV. Look, you guys, about the Starving Children photo, I want you to know that while I genuinely don't mean any (direct) offense and if someone's human feelings are for real hurt by it, I am sorry that your feelings are hurt. But I also don't find anyone's arguments against posting that photo as a joke even remotely compelling. My Marxist theory is a bit rusty, but I'm not sure how it's "exploitative," which is what someone said it was. And all of the other complaints seem to have something to do with the degree to which using the photo is "tasteful" to which I would say almost all of you are probably right no matter what you are saying but I just don't see how that matters. Clearly, in posting a photo like that with a gruesomely sarcastic photo caption, BEING TASTEFUL MAY NOT BE THE GOAL. To be completely honest, the most deafening criticism you could have offered would have been absolute silence (although I've ruined that option for you now because if you're quiet about it the next time I do it I will just assume that you're using my own trick against me and I have therefore disempowered it, oh well). The most important point I will make, though, is that I am a very stubborn idiot, and the more you guys tell me not to do something, THE MORE I AM LIKELY TO DO IT. If you thought that "joke" was tired before, oh brother, GET READY, BOYS!]
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NIGHTMARE WAS SNUBBED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yay I made the ball.
Dismynightmare was robbed! Robbed!
I call shenanigans! I had 80 upvotes for this:
http://videogum.com/341682/how-long-can-you-listen-to-this-90s-a-cappella-dance-mix-before-you-turn-it-off/music-related-content/comment-page-1/#comment-8763301
No Ball placement?
You won the Monster’s Ball of my heart.
Thanks, Godsauce!
It takes Monstrous Balls to admit that kind of thing, Godsauce.
oh. well. i guess life isn’t fair for anybody. #frown
I call shenanigans last week for my non-comment, I had 2 more votes than the 5th place comment at TOMB (Time of Monster’s Ball)! Is Videogum discriminatory against Starbucks ‘Partners’ because we are part of corporate America? There is something fishy going on here…
someone needs a partner bev
The comments are generated by a programming algorithm, so maybe there’s a bug. We will look into it.
oh my gosh, hi
Wait, the comments are generated by a programming algorithm? I thought I was a sentient being with a free will who can choose to post his own comments but apparently I am living in THE MATRIX and my reality is nothing, I’m just a programming algorithm. Good to know. Mind blown to smithereens and my whole world is crashing down all around me.
I don’t appreciate being patronized
I’m not trying to be snobby. I like that comment as well! But when the site was reset awhile ago, wasn’t gif comments banned from being honored in the Monster’s Ball.
:Goes in the corner:
Let’s dance anyway:
I love this show.
ah, yeah weekend + i’m on vacation. HIT IT GARY
yay nostalgia and weekend!
i’m going to crawl under my nostalgia rock and listen to nevermind and read american gods that i bought at the liquidation sale of a store that will no longer exist and then i’ll turn on and watch nostalgia tv shows
glory days!
weekend!
fun
American Gods is SO good! Neil Gaiman Forever!!!
Cool story bro: I finished Infinite Jest last night, you guys. You should read it. It’s fucking incredible.
I finished reading the sherlock holmes story Hound of the baskervilles and I figured it, the plot and shenangicans, out early. Those stories are actually kinda dumb.
You might say they’re…
ELEMENTARY???
you think THAT’S bad!? I also just saw the execrable Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law movie of sherlock the holmes and boy was that homely (holmelsy?). it was very very bad.
The new BBC incarnation is pretty rad though, unless you don’t like when old stories are updated for contemporary times.
agreed, the BBC version is quite rad to the hella indeed. or as they say in britain, “jolly good naughty bit uh crumpet wot that is” etc.
This is a solid brag in my opinion. I now want to read this book.
True story: I threw Infinite Jest out a window because I hated it that much.
True story: I do not understand you, sorry!
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
tl;dr
Spoiler: One of the appendixes is a list of congressional bills and other drawn out documents that I’d read before I picked up Infinite Jest again. One of which is the Boehner budget plan, which is listed side-by-side to my now bookmarked Wikipedia page on debt ceilings.
this is exactly how i feel about pynchon. kertwang!
“and kill myself ironically….”
Yeah, that’s not appropriate, dude. Silence in the library?
You lost me when you said tennis is boring. I’ve played tennis since I was a child. Sorry again!
Even though I’m kind of double posting, I just want to state that I’m not trying to be a dick about you not liking IJ or anything. I just really loved it, and I’m sorry you didn’t. Not anyone’s fault!
And I’m glad someone read that nostalgia thing. Was worried I was going overboard with that. At least we can both agree on Pete and Pete!
I have a lot of friends from the not Internet that live and die by that book, which is one of the reasons I started reading it over a decade ago. Max, we can agree on many things and still be Internet friends and I will still hate this book as much if not more than I hate sports.
I just don’t think it lives up to the hype or the death of trees or morbid fascination with the author.
Disliking IJ is fine. But to react to “hype” with such vitriol that you call the suicide of another human being* “ironic[] so people think I’m the voice of our generation” is a massive massive fail of blithering idiocy.
*A human being who suffered for years while writing as honestly and exquisitely and accurately about severe depression as well as anyone I’ve ever encountered, for what it’s worth.
another true story, when I was much younger and more naiive than I am these days I thought I would work my way up to reading infinite jest by starting with broom of the system. I gave up on it because it was dumb and boring. F* that noise, guy
*F = FUCK
Broom of the System < Infinite Jest. But like an anti-confluentialist film or a complex flavor of Toblerone, it's not for every palate. It's ok to not like Infinite Jest. (Leaves more for me? Somehow?)
yeah broom of the system is really pretentious and fun only if you are into reading about writing about being, or whatever. IJ is the best, though.
(and I’ll get off my soap box NOW. you were a great audience!)
Wallace also disliked Broom of The System.
Where Wallace at?
Are you Herman Cain?
is you really a squirrel?
I wasn’t talking to you and I don’t understand your comment! Nonetheless, I’ll give you an upvote, because I don’t like to hoard them.
Man, Steve. That is a reference where I have no choice but to upvote.
i’ll give you another upvote for reading it again, which is what i’m in the middle of right now. it gets (even) better, is what i’m saying.
seriously though: i’m so happy to see an anonymous person on a blog i’m sort of peripherally connected to reading my favorite book EVER. cheers, bro. (for realsies)
It was my first time reading it. I already want to read it again, but I’m going to read Gravity’s Rainbow first (ha sorry! saw you’re not a Pynchon fan).
wow. i started reading gravity’s rainbow last summer right after reading IJ, too. (COINCIDENCE? probably.) It didn’t work for me at all! maybe IJ spoiled it for me, or maybe I was just too tired after reading IJ. and no, i am not _not_ a pynchon fan (if that makes sense)… it just didn’t resonate with me on a very fundamental level; maybe it seemed more contrived, even, at that moment in time. Curious to know what you’ll think about it, though!
I tried it last year and got to page 300 (made it past the literal shit-eating part), but then school got too busy, and I had to put it down. Hoping the IJ momentum can propel me through.
oh, the shit eating part. always reminds of DFW’s warning on the very literal meanings of metaphors, see http://harpers.org/media/pdf/dfw/HarpersMagazine-1998-07-0059612.pdf (page 26.) (hope the link works, also: you might be familiar with it already.) and yes: may that momentum be with you.
I’ve been reading Infinite Jest for about a month now. Well, I guess I started reading it about a month ago. I’m on page 107 and have no motivation whatsoever to keep going. I remember someone telling me that it really picks up around 250, but that is so many pages to read before I’m interested.
There are more good books around than you could possibly ever read, I’m sure you know. If you hate reading Infinite Jest, move on. It’s too long to finish out of a mere sense of obligation. DFW’s writing appeals to me deeply, but I’d never say his books are required reading. That’s my amateur opinion. And the arguments above are dumb because nothing is at stake in whether or not you or I love or hate Infinite Jest.
I thought we agreed we only needed to re-post old Monster’s Balls! You know! For the Ratings Man!
With a Ho-Ho-Ho
And a He-He-He
He watches us watch TV!
Yeah for me! And for nepotism! But really I find Breaking Bad to be kind of too crazy, so I’m trying to get out of watching it. I’ll continue to read Kelly’s Cliff Notes though.
If Kelly’s mom is posting… WHERE IS GABE’S MOM?
Here is one of the last surviving depictions of Gabe’s mother, Hester Delahaye (c. 1649):
Even if it’s never officially acknowledged, I’ll always know in my heart that I had the second highest rated comment this week.
http://videogum.com/343572/fox-news-anchor-disproves-global-warming-leaves-bill-nye-stunned/science/comment-page-1/#comment-8771441
#whitemonsterproblems
Well fuck! What is going on w/ the Ball calculations this week?! (But make that 3rd, I am 2nd!…Unless someone else was gypped too?)
Scandal!!!11!
That comment should be in contention for next week’s Ball. It was too late to make this week’s count.
Friday comments go in next weeks ball.
Revolution time, guys.
Ok, well, i’m going to grump for a second: Does it matter? Upvotes/downvotes? who cares? Making it into the ball? I surely don’t comment to get votes. I comment to hear myself talk…y’know? like everyone else.
I was under the impression that the vote tally didnt actually matter and you won your spot based on the merits of your message and content. so the winner of the best comment had literally the best comment and the worst comment was literally the worst comment, and so on and so forth.
Says the guy with an EGOT!
what is an egot?
it is literally nothing. #litralee
You mean like a “No Prize” that Marvel Comics used to offer old school trolls who would submit their comments via the post office in the form of printed and/or hand written notes which would appear printed in the comic books of the day? Your “No Prize” is in the mail, friend. Nuff said.
“The most important point I will make, though, is that I am a very stubborn idiot, and the more you guys tell me not to do something, THE MORE I AM LIKELY TO DO IT.”
Gabe, STOP BEING KELLY.
No love for FLW this week, but look who got editors choice on Stereogum.
This. is. mesmerizing.
I now have 2 back to back Balls under my belt.
I have mine side by side…
#badball jokes
I’m amazed at the sheer amount of dancing GIFs that are dug up week after week…with seemingly no repeats.
I can’t remember if I commented this week. Why am I not in the Ball??
(jokes guys you know i think y’all great keep being great)
Please downvote this comment.
Don’t tell me what to do, OLD MAN! I’m not 12 years old anymore!
Gabe: Do not give me Editor’s Choice next week. I repeat: DO NOT GIVE ME EDITOR”S CHOICE NEXT WEEK.
You fools! Now I just need Caption Contest to get my EGOT! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH—ooooohhhhhhhhh. That’s probably never going to happen, now that I think about it. Whenever those happen I fail miserably, or I’m napping.
STAMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!
maybe you should step up your game and write something clever. the videogum commentator web section is not a welfare state. only the strong shall survive, the meek are fucking toast and will not inherit the earth like some ancient middle eastern wizard said in some fairy story.
Steve, I’m not clever enough most of the time, and in all honesty I don’t want nor expect up/downvote charity on an entertainment blog. If I win a caption contest, it won’t be because of any sort of charity. The Caption Contest is probably the most cutthroat posting of the week, every week.
And I didn’t ask for downvotes because I wanted to go for lowest voted. I jokingly asked for them because I seriously was ashamed by my unclever comment. And I even failed at getting it donvoted, as everyone downvoted my request INSTEAD of my actual comment. Then FrankLloydWrong joked I was going for lowest voted, and come today when people were arguing about lowest voted I thought, “Oh no, conflict?! Come on, guys.” That was meant as a joke, but in all fairness was also totally me last-minute lobbying for lowest-rated of the week.
I in all honesty don’t want to get downvoted by people who are seriously upset with me, nor is my demeanor and the things I tend to want to say ever so far outside the norm and without consideration for people’s feelings that I believe I ever will, unlike you, I self-identifying troll.
But you’re also an EGOT winner, and a TRUE EGOT winner at that, so you’ve run the gamut and done something right. You’re opinion on my situation is completely valid, and I appreciate your constructive criticism/weird pep talk. Peace be with you, you weird robot wolf troll who has forever messed me up because whenever the music artist Steve Winwood is mentioned I just see your lifeless eyes. *shudders*
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to type …and come today when people were arguing about lowest voted…
I meant when they were arguing about global warming.
tl;dr LOL!!!!!!!
Niiiiiiiice!
Man I’ve missed you guys.
I’m pretty much going to consider being quoted by Gabe in an Editor’s note as getting Editor’s Choice.
WOO!