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A few years ago, I lived across the street from a family who would throw every dirty diaper their children made into the storm drain outside of their house. What the heck? That’s not where dirty diapers go. That’s also not where humans go! That was a segue. In this local news story from somewhere in California, news anchors try to explain why it is NOT funny that a guy got stuck in a storm drain while trying to grab his cell phone. Which is weird, because I guess it’s kind of funny that he got stuck in there, but my first thought would not be that it was funny. My first thought would be that it was terrifying! A storm drain? STUCK? Just to get your stupid cell phone back? Ahhhh! And also there are other parts of the story that are even scarier, but maybe they aren’t true? This is confusing, someone needs to get to the bottom (of the storm drain) of this.
Uhh, “They said something about ‘gang’”? Not very convincing, JARED. “They came up and said something about ‘black’ and ‘gang’ and ‘gang violence’ and ‘CA gang violence’ and ‘cell phone’ and ‘storm drain.’” But on the other hand, he looks very beat up! Why are they so convinced that he is lying about the people beating him up? And why does that news lady get in the storm drain!? That is not appropriate! When that happened I honestly thought that I was accidentally watching a joke news video from the ONN. And also, on that note, why are they trying to sell this so hard as a funny story! Because he looks very silly with his legs sticking out of the storm drain? I guess that is the answer. And really, whether or not he got beat up by a gang maybe doesn’t really matter because they didn’t FORCE him into the storm drain, like bullies on TV throwing a person into a trash can and then their feet are sticking out of the trash can and there’s a laugh track. He just got in there because they threw his cell phone in there? And he wanted to call for help? Because of how he got beat up. So I guess maybe it would be their fault. Kind of. But! That’s clearly a bad idea! Jared! And it looks like he also could’ve just gotten those injuries by forcing his big body into the tiny storm drain? Right? I don’t know why there aren’t more answers in this news video. They should’ve just shown the photo and written “LOL” over it and been done with it. (Via reddit.)
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those neighbors only threw the diapers in the storm drain after we turned our garbage cans upside down so that they wouldn’t throw them in there.
Imagine getting stuck in the diaper storm drain.
Haha YOU’RE RIGHT. I forgot they also used to throw them in our garbage cans. Ugh.
This confuses me. Did they not get a garbage can of their own? Not even a garbage bag?
trust me on this, superglue, they were the worst.
In my last house, my neighbor with whom I had exchanged pleasantries a few times came over and rang my doorbell. I didn’t answer, because he had a baseball cap on and was facing away from the door when I looked through the peephole, so I couldn’t see who it was and that is a weird way to ring someone’s doorbell. Instead, I watched through a window as, after he decided I wasn’t home, he proceeded to STEAL MY TRASHCAN, and bring his over to my house. No idea why he did that. He never mentioned it to me later. It was just a really fucking weird thing for a person to do.
i like this story because it is much less disgusting but much more creepy
Wait a second, Kel-Co! You used to live with JON HAMM?!?!?!?!?!
There’s a lot you don’t know about me.
It’s the newest form of Planking.
I think Owling is the new form of planking. http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/blogpost/post/owling-the-new-planking/2011/07/12/gIQAaLerAI_blog.html
Do we really NEED a new form of planking?
“Man, let Raphael take a man’s cell phone when he’s drunk, it starts off kind of funny, but then he just…*SLAP*.” — Donatello
“Shut the FUCK up, Donatello!” — Raphael
Man, you’ve really been feasting on all this sewer stuff the last couple of weeks. #grossjokes
Frank Lloyd Wrong, you are consistently the funniest person in every Videogum thread. Never shut the fuck up.
“Shut the fuck up, Son Of Gabe.”
-Every Videogum commenter except Frank Lloyd Wrong
Do I leap to Son of Gabe’s defense, thereby looking like I believe my own press or do I sit idly by and watch someone who complemented me get eaten alive?
I always pictured you with a bit more hair…
Is this a new meme I missed, or are you just being a dick?
I’m not really sure how even got stuck in there! I can barely.. I can get my head in there.. and my shoulders.. and oop.. okay… okay wait call the police I’ve figured it out
hahah
Someone get Jack Thomspon on the line, we’ve got another case of the negative influence video games have on society. I’ve always known Mario was bad news.
He probably IS lying…
“She immediately called her neighbor Christina, saying, “You got to see this. This shit is hilarious.” After tweeting several pics and making a video of herself taunting the victim, Christina called police.
“
I’m not really sure how even got stuck in there! I can barely.. I can get my head in there.. and my shoulders.. and oop.. okay… okay wait call the police I’ve figured it out!
I always accidentally post on here with my facebook account what the eff why can I even do that
The only reason I could accidentally fall into a storm drain is if it was raining and my friendship bracelet fell off into it and the friend that I was with couldn’t pull me out and the rain was filling up the storm drain so quickly and I was about to drowned when that creepy guy with the bike, who I think is also the creepy guy from when I was Home Alone (no type-casto), pulls me out in the nick of time.
Are they sure that is a real man…kind of reminds me of this hoax
Throwing a phone in the sewer? Man, gangs have really gotten soft.
I like how they identified themselves as a gang, though. “Hey punk, we are a gang and we are going to throw your valuables in this inconvenient-to-reach but not impossible-to-reach crevice.” -A gang.
“Oh my God! Oh my God! My Phone has been thrown down a sewer! I think it was an Asian gang or something… There was this guy, he looked Asian… and he was speaking another language, I’m pretty sure it was… Asian.”
Chilling.
“Okay, we threw his cell phone down the drain! Next, when he climbs back out, we beat him in a DANCE-OFF.”
“No, he’s going to call the police from that drain! CHEESE IT, FELLOWS!”
Dammit. I started snickering as soon as they said ‘manhole.’
True story: my friend got mugged on Friday for his cell phone and some cash. Stay safe, you guys.
Yeah why is this reporter treating this nice young man like he is a known liar? Maybe this same guy constantly calls the newspaper with reports of Gremlins and Michael Jackson stopping at his house to use the bathroom.
I can’t wait for the inevitable biopic ’40 Minutes’ starring Dave Franco.
Question is: did he get the phone back or was it lost forever? Also, it must be a slap in the road rash to be forced back to the site of your mugging and manhole-ing just to defend yourself to your community.
Jared obviously had some incriminating photos on that phone. That’s the only logical explanation.
Jared Weiner.
This makes me think of Baby Jessica stuck down the well, a story that terrified the bejesus out of me when I was a kid.
What he didn’t say was that it was a gang of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Whoops. Always. Be. Checking Upthread.
This is not news but in California it is the TOP STORY
And apparently took about 40 hours to tape, based on how often it’s night and day during her story.
I knew I was going to love this story as soon as the eyewitness said, “I just heard this like faint screaming?”
And then the reporter went into the hole in her pink suit! A++ news story.
Alternate headline: “Street recovering after difficult breech birth.”
This thread is long dead but I wanted mention that “somewhere in California” is literally 5 minutes from where I grew up and my parents still live. I lived right on the border between Modesto and Ceres and we Modestoans (LOL) never thought very highly of Ceres, and that’s saying something because MODESTO IS A METHED OUT, CAR JACKING SHITHOLE.
Damn. I know it is a v-late comment, but this…