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Remember our interns, Andrew, Joe, and Kelly? We introduced them to you last week. They’re two lovely young men and a lovely young woman. Andrew had a cow because Gabe slightly misspelled his last name. Is this ringing any bells? Ok, well, whatever. We thought you might want to hear a little more from them, because of how lovely they are, and what better way to get to know them than through them picking and talking about a video from the past week that we haven’t already talked about? Right? It’s Videogum, so yes, that is right. It’s exactly right.
Andrew’s Pick
In spite of the fact that this is Videogum DOT COM and therefore on the Internet, I like to entertain the idea that there are weird subcultures in the dark crevices of cyberspace (gross) of which you are unaware. For example, the massive contingency of nerd dudes who are obsessed with the new My Little Pony show. “We should all be so sucky to find something that makes us crappy.” — Nega-Gabe. Look, I’m not judging these people for liking “girl stuff” (no such thing), because I use women’s deodorant and shaving cream (it makes me erotically interesting). My issue is not with boys liking rainbow dream-ponies! It’s with childless grown-ass humans liking rainbow dream-ponies. – Andrew
Joseph’s Pick
There are several things wrong with this video. First of all, the whipped cream in the woods fiasco. I mean, I’m not trying to sound old here, but feeding your friends whipped cream in the woods is just not as safe as it used to be. Also, how about that dirty, dirty visual metaphor toward the end? Ick. Don’t get me wrong, I understand metaphors. We had to do a lot them at my community college. But I’ve been around the block a few times and have enough sense to tell you that whipped cream is only slightly similar to what I think it’s supposed to represent here. (Which, if you listen closely, is a BLOW-TAH?) But, blow-tahs aside, what do I know, right? Art is subjective. It can be anything you want it to be! It doesn’t always have to mean something. It’s all about balance. You have your Citizen Kane, and you have your “I’m Horny.” So let’s all be Ernie about this, let blow-tahs be blow-tahs, and learn to appreciate that we don’t all like the same things. But seriously, I don’t condone the smoking at the end. – Joseph
Kelly’s Pick
There’s nothing funny about suicide! The consequences of bullying are very real, and victims of other’s misguided, misplaced adolescent angst often carry with them a ton of guilt and confusion at what exactly they have done to deserve such vitriol. Bullies are the worst, you get it. But — Seriously, ABC Family’s Cyberbu//y? That’s the best way for you to depict the consequences of cuberbu//ying? A melodramatic race to the home of a suicidal, average American teenager who has trouble with child proof caps, and also door locks? Because if I were trying to overdose on Extra Strength Tylenol in my bathroom with the door wide open, and my brother only a few steps away, I’d probably lock the door/open the bottle first BEFORE alerting my BFF. Or maybe start trying to open the bottle in the 15 minutes that it took her to get there so I wouldn’t have to go “oh shit!” and start clawing at the top until my fingernails were bloody before spilling all of my pain reliever on the floor as the paramedics look on with steadfast, true boredom on their faces. But, boy am I glad she didn’t kill herself! It’s not worth it, Taylor! Just delete your Clicksters page! It gets better! – Kelly
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Fun to meet you interns! As a fellow web-intern (EARWOLF YEAH YEAH!), we can talk in Intern talk and talk about getting e-coffee for our boss.nets and sharpening cyber pencils before the big cyber meeting to discuss this cyber quarterly cyber earnings.
Good choices, interns! I’ll g chat you up by the iWatercooler!
Earwolf???? * swooooon *
Speaking of working for Earwolf, can you get Gabe on “How Did This Get Made?”. He would be the perfect guest any time he is over there in LA or he could do the Skype thing Jason Mantzoukas does. I mean, they basically do an audio version of the Hunt and it would be a perfect match.
Yes, I agree with this one hundred percent and also can you please tell Rob Huebel that I will leave Jesse Eisenberg for him?
(it’s the heat, y’all. I usually don’t get all e-Harmony up in here, but the weather is telling me to have babies)
As much as I would LOVE to play a role in the bookings of the show, I don’t think Earwolf would flourish as an All-The-State-All-The-Time network. Plus, they’re doing a GREAT job of booking guests (if I were you guys I’d stay up on Sunday night ’til Bang Bang drops. It’s a good’un).
I would love for Gabe or Max or any of the New York-ish comics I like to hop by (I’m the one who writes the performer bios for the website, and I’m telling you in advance that Gabe’s would be KILLER!), but I’m just an intern. Interns, right guys? Our jobs suck, huh? Oh brother! There’s the old ball-and-chains with another memo! Oopzies! Looks like I’ll be at the office allll weekend!
What’s Bob Dukka really like?
Damaged. Crippled. Hopeful. Doesn’t smell great.
And has he overcome any of his various and crippling pornography addictions? I’m worried about him.
oh em gee can we switch internships for a day? LOL JK. love the ‘gum. but seriously…comedy death ray. mmm. or comedy bang bang, seems like they’re always changing it.
that last video reminded me of something
also the related video is pretty great
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uzTWGRtOgg&feature=related
Nobody puts intern in the corner!
Intern got back
How are we going to keep track of which Kelly is being mistaken for Gabe?
“Baby Kelly” – intern Kelly
“Kelly Kelly” – Kelly Kelly
“Maximum Kelly” – Gabe
or
Kelly Junior
Kelly Senior
Kelly Senior Citizen aka Gabe
“Kelly Kapowski” – intern Kelly
“Kelly Ripa” – Kelly Kelly
“Gene Kelly” – Gabe
“Kelly Belly” – None of them, probably.
Did you know if you say the name “Kelly” enough times, it stops sounding like a word?
I am required by law to link to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hJjx7jTHA8
ALL THE KELLYS ARE FROM THENCEFORTH GABE!
There is no Kelly, only Gabe! – the Ghostbusters
“I CAAAN’T GET THE CAAAP OFFFF!!!” = classic
You guys, I’m pretty sure that ‘I’m Horny’ song was all about doing whippets and giving BLOWJOBS.
At one point that guy rapping in Spanish said “chupa,” from chupar, which means “to suck.” (Koo-koo-ri-koo! Koo-koo-ri-koo!) That’s what tipped me off.
The whippets part is self explanatory, of course.
Detective KajusX & Gumshoes Chainsaws, at your service.
It’s actually Detective KajusX & Deerstalkers, thank you very much.
Shut the fuck up, KajusX & Chainsaws!
There, happy now?
i mean, i don’t know about y’all, but that song really speaks to my high school experience. (gross.)
Also, not to be crude (also DEFINITELY to be crude), but nothing says “awesome blowjob” quite like this girl’s set of teeth.
you mean “awesome blowtah”
i really thought the guy in the video with the Run DMC shirt was T. Mills…but there is no way T. Mills has the mental capacity to be bilingual.
also, how do you think Rev. Run feels about his brand being used in a video about being Ernie and giving blowtahs?
Jam Master Jay is rolling over in his grave.
italian, people. italian.
This video gave me the same sick feeling I got when I watched Kids. Do I even want to know what “I’m Ernie” means? Is it a Sesame Street reference?
Hey. Fuck You.
#friendshipismagic
Intern Kelly, thank you for bringing to light one of the many, MANY lessons I learned from ABC Family’s Cyberbully on Sunday night. Now does anyone have a Clickster invite for me because Google plus is boring.
Wait wait wait, Videogum hired interns and I didn’t even know?
How am I going to live out my unpaid dreams now?
jabrony