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I was having dinner with some friends last weekend and we were talking about how children’s tendency to overshare on the Internet in a way that we old-timers find shocking and unwise is going to become so pervasive as to be entirely normal and so what might be problematic at, say, a job interview now will be meaningless in the future. At the moment, you can certainly get in trouble with your boss for posting a photo of yourself doing a keg stand in a Hitler costume on Facebook when you were supposedly home “sick,” but in a few years from now, your boss will look at you askance if you DON’T post pictures like that. Everyone’s doin’ it, maaaan. It’s just a different world now. Another friend of mine (that’s right, I have three friends, and your jealousy isn’t going to change anything) was talking recently about how offended grandparents get by coarse language but how quaint that seems to us and wondered what on Earth the future generations would do that would be as horrifying to us in our old age. I think the answer to this question is: automated dick pic email signatures (downloaded directly to your brain chip). Write it down. NOSTRADUMBLEDOREUS over here. Anyway, the whole thing is a mess and we should shut it down, but until we do, enjoy this young woman’s “comedy” video:
EEEEK! Rest your case! Rest your case! A lot of people assume that you can say as much racist stuff as you want as long as you just say “and I’m not racist” at the end but it’s not true, you actually need to include “and I rest my case” otherwise the jury won’t know that you rested your case.
Neat video! One Take Tara over here. “Click. Print.” You want to do that one more time for safety? “No, it’s perfect. Is there a way to upload it twice?” Obviously, she has already issued an apology video:
Good apology! She sounds very sorry and does not seem weirdly defensive and overly aggressive about forcing people into accepting her YouTube apology at all. (I would add for you legal scholars out there that the end of this video would be another good time to rest one’s case.) Look, this is just a stupid little kid who made a very bad decision. I am not sure that I understand what the “joke” of her video was, but I’m sure Tracy Morgan knows what is in her heart. But also, children, CUT IT OUT! Everyone makes bad decisions and unfortunate mistakes, that is part of growing up, but good God, you of all people should actually know how the Internet works. That’s kind of your whole thing. Your parents just don’t understand, so that means you have to. Oh well. I think YouTube commenter xXDizzy303Xx said it best:
u are sexy but ur bitch
Good comment. Great video. Love the Internet. Information superhighway. Hope it never explodes in a devastating fireball.
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I tide fashion good looking, but I’m not racist.
u r sexy but ur bitch
You’re no AgeMingle girl.
But her 87-year old boyfriend is!
I thought he was the same age as me?
If there was ever a good time for a B L A C K w h i t e C U P I D .com ad, it would be right now.
If it’s between this and Copper Cab, ugh. I don’t know what to do anymore.
I’m not racist, but black redheads have no souls.
“We sure have a lot of Mexicans, but at least we don’t have to deal with darkies like this poor girl”–Arizona .
I’m pretty sure the lyrics to this song are “Facetaco is not a nice person.”
That’s true about grandparents being offended by coarse language, but it also goes the other way around, with younger people getting really uncomfortable when their grandma says something that is just openly racist. That’ll be us one day. in 2016, I’ll be making public statements on the internet about how I’m not voting for Aramis Le Coeur as our nation’s first LARPing president, and my kids will decide that it’s time to put me into a home to shut me up.
“No President of mine is going to have a foam sword wrapped in duct tape! Go back to Oz!” —grandpa facetaco
“Don’t blame me for Aramis Le Couer, I voted for Oglebrew The Elder.” — 2016′s Frank Lloyd Wrong
Somewhere, President Bush is watching this video and going “I totally get ya, girlfriend. I totally get ya.” (Haha Bush Administration burn! Timely!)
George Bush doesn’t care about Videogum.
Why don’t you understand that I’m not racist even though the only thing you know about me is that I say incredibly racist shit and post it on the internet?
How dare you judge me based on my actions, undertaken of my own free will!
Can anyone identify which horrible band’s poster is hanging on her wall? I am going with 3OH!3.
It’s Sufjan Stevens.
I have a running joke with my friend (thom/destrucity, here) that 3oh3 are date-rapists, but they are very bad at date rape. Like, they’ll coax girls into their room by saying “Here, have this drink. I totally didn’t drug it.” and the girls say “Why would you say that? Now I’m suspicious.”
I’m pretty sure it’s All Time Low, and I hate myself for knowing that.
You lose them in the dark and they eat all your chicken? I think you are thinking of Gremlins.
Bravo!
I have a problem with Tremors. I lose them in the ground and they eat all my Bacon.
I’m sorry. That was a joke, I’m not racist.
I made a second apology comment because I tried to be nice and apologize the first time but no one would accept it.
You guys, I’d just like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that a certain amount of shame is not entirely bad for you.
Like how people wear pajamas pants on airplanes and think that it’s a perfectly acceptable way to dress in public? Because I would like to start a movement to shame those people.
I think that largely depends on circumstances. If you’re catching a quick flight from Chicago to Austin, for instance, then you should put some damn clothes on. But if you’re travelling from Michigan to Italy, and you have two layovers, one involving going through customs in time, and you’re also travelling with a 16-month old who refuses to sleep anywhere other than his crib so he’s going to be absolutely monstrous by the end, then yeah, I say dress as comfortably as possible.
This is exactly what Pajama Jeans were invented for.
You know what they WEREN’T invented for? Ending sentences with prepositions.
Oh, shut your big bell pepper mouth up.
How uncomfortable are regular pants in the first place, though? I wear pants all day, every day without issue. Sitting on a plane doesn’t really have an effect on that.
Oh, I agree, but I can understand the need for maximum comfort. You know what really bugs me? When offices (such as the one I work in) let employees wear jeans as a “reward.” I have never once worn jeans to work, because A) That’s not what Jack Donaghy would do, and B) I will not be convinced that “wearing different pants” is a reward for anything ever.
I worked with a guy who was the epitome of class. He used to always travel in a suit and then, when the plane was just about to start landing, he’d go into the bathroom and change his suit so he looked fresh when he got off the plane.
He later had a complete mental breakdown and tried to ride a ten-speed bicycle off of a cubicle at work, but that’s a story for another time.
Uhh, whaaaat? Is it “another time” yet? Because I’d really like to hear that story.
Wow, you are a velour tracksuit apologist? Yikes.
If you have to dress to be comfortable for your monstrous 16 month old, then please do not bring that child on the flight.
-Sincerely, the rest of the passengers.
People swan about in their PJ’s on the streets of my town. It makes me really unhappy.
Do you live in Shanghai?
http://fencer.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/planet-shanghai-pajamas-1.jpg?w=420&h=564
Where I live we are lucky to see people as covered up as PJs. Yesterday there was a sudden rainstorm and my husband and I witnessed our across-the-courtyard neighbor exiting his apartment to roll up the windows of his truck, shirtless, with a pair of cargo shorts literally falling off of his ass – we could see the bottom hem of his boxers – a belt half-hanging out, and BOOTS. Like big-ass rubber boots that you would wear if you were spending a lot of time cleaning sewers or swamps or something. I guess it was more important for him to keep his feet dry than to not run around looking like his girlfriend’s husband just walked in on them and bodily thrown him out while he was trying to compose himself.
Mostly though we just see people shopping in their PJs and doing anything they can with as little clothes on as possible. It might be sexy if I lived someplace like Brazil, rather than south Texas.
I’m going to start a movement to Restore America’s Sense Of Shame. I think it would really fix a lot of our problems as a society.
I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
I can pitch in with a devastating sense of guilt, if you think that will help. #catholicgum
What about people who wear pajama pants to their college classes? I hated that. Or those stupid workout shorts.
I was in a class with a girl who always wore a Twilight t-shirt tucked into her pajama pants. Needless to say, we are now married.
U married a 14-year-old?
What’s the weather like in Mississippi this time of year? Muggy, right?
I hated that too. Because you know college kids don’t do laundry and there is no temperature control in those dorms, so you know they’re just sweating so much into those pants and then wearing them day after day. Disgusting!
How about pajama pants and/or slippers in public period? Also, Confederate flags on houses and trucks.
“Hi, I wanted to say, I misspoke; I did not mean all black people, I really just meant Rebecca Black.”
Don’t forget Clint Black. He’s the worst.
Classic PR Mistake of not including “Some of my best friends are Black.” This will likely require a 3rd video.
She’s got some good material, but people aren’t gonna take this comedy act seriously until she does a lesbian photoshoot for GQ.
“no one accepted my apology because it was so short”. oh my god. i think the internet needs to take up a collection to send this girl to an anti-racist training, because jesus, even her apology is offensive.
favorite part:
“i know this is short, but i don’t want to say the wrong thing again”
she can’t even trust herself to 1) go 2 minutes without saying something horribly offensive 2) not upload said video if it “slips out”
i honestly think that’s a failing of our society as a whole to have a seeeeeerious conversation about how race impacts all of our lives. she’s been burned once and now she’s probably going to be terribly afraid to talk about this kind of issue forever, which will reinforce this perception that race/racism is only a conversation that should occur within minority communities, and that the dominant social groups need to just ignore it because they’re way too freaked out of being offensive. which is a false dichotomy!
someone needs to send her this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Ti-gkJiXc
While I love the Internet, I feel one of the terrible byproducts is the feeling that every thought you have in your mind is pearl of wisdom that needs to be shared with everyone always.* I thank God that YouTube was not around when I was high school and fear what my kids will have access to in the future.
*I am also the guy who tweeted that I sneezed into a fan by accident yesterday, so I might not be qualified to rule on this topic.
How do you not turn away from the fan to sneeze? I do not get this.
It was a small fan at my desk to my left and I had someone standing at my desk to my right. I turned away from them to sneeze and forgot about the fan. I covered my nose and mouth, but the residual sneeze came flying back at me.
Hollywood, type this story up and make a movie. It’s Box Office Gold.
My god, FLW, I think you weaponize this fan simply by turning it around…
*could* weaponize. Oof, that is my 2nd typo today (out of the typos I know about).
Box Office Gold? Is that Ari’s wife?
I hope you caught some high def slow motion footage of you sneezing into a fan and then it blowing back in your face, because that is some Science Channel shit.
I am far more shocked that Gabe has actual “friends” than how stupid young peoples be.
This is going to sound CRAZYBALLS, but I sort of believe her when she says “I’m not racist.” The first video sounds to me like a horribly misguided attempt at satire. I mean, listen to the way she says “I’m not racist” at the end of it, in a seemingly accusatory manner.
It also sounded like she was just cribbing Chapelle’s Show notes.
No one apparently gets nuance. DOWNVOTE AWAY!
I don’t think so. If it was her intention to satirize a racist person, that would actually be pretty easy to explain in her “apology.” Instead, she just doubles down, insisting that she really isn’t racist.
Obviously she thinks it’s “a joke” because she claims things that are ridiculous (you lose ‘em in the dark, they steal all your chickens…) However, that doesn’t change the fact that it is a mean-spirited joke about “niggers.” I suspect that, within her day-to-day context, this “joke” would be considered harmless, and she assumed that her audience was like-minded people. She simply didn’t imagine (or didn’t care) that there were black people out there who would see it.
It reminds me of one of my buddies in high school who fell in with a small clique of Jesus freaks. For some reason one day he started explaining to me about a running antisemitic joke they had about certain teachers in the school. (The only nugget I can actually remember is that they would say one science instructor could “go sit on a Torah.”) Now, to them this was funny and harmless – “just a joke.” And of course they thought of themselves as good people, they were Jesus freaks! They didn’t understand that disparaging Jewishness in this manner was offensive and wrong.
Amendment: Watching again, she is trolling. She DOES think the world’s going to see it, she just doesn’t think there are going to be consequences. The “nuance” I get is just snottiness.
She’s absolutely trolling. It’s counter-intuitive, but saying racist things doesn’t necessarily make you racist.
The question is intent. Why is she trolling?
Heck, I’ve “anti-trolled,” myself, taking on characters that were the opposite of what I thought. On one local message board I got so sick of how conservatives got off proclaiming Palin to be the next president that I created a character who was ridiculously enthusiastic about Mama Grizzly. It’s a blast.
However, again, that would actually be pretty easy to explain after the fact. “I made the video to make fun of people who think that way.” She doesn’t say anything like that at all. Note the gap in sophistication between the original video (which is pretty thoroughly offensive in both content and delivery) and her incredibly lame, convoluted, and defensive apology.
My impression of her body language and expression in the video is more like she is gleefully getting away with saying “naughty” stuff, and enjoying the offense she will create.
I guess maybe you are saying there is possibly no relation between what she believes and what she did – that she’s getting off on the trolling while having, somehow, NO opinion of black people. Such a scenario doesn’t make sense – to do what she did for mere amusement is at least casually racist.
thedevilprobably, I would guess that her videos were probably only watched by friends of hers until very recently, whom she knew would understand. I don’t know what it is like to have a popular youtube video because I do not now and may never have any videos on youtube ever, but I would guess it’s like you’re having coffee and bullshitting with your friend and suddenly you look up and 500,000 people are staring at you and half of those people look like they want to kill you.
This.
Yes! I tell everyone I know this is mandatory reading. How creepy is it that right after you finish this book, all of a sudden you notice it starting to come true everywhere?
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Hahahaha. This guy.
You have a certain record of going from funny controversial to sad misogynist, don’t you?
“I’m sorry everybody thought I was being serious even though I said I was being serious.”
At what point do young people appreciate risk? Gabe are you inmplying that “risk” is going to become obsolete since we will just come to accept irresponsible behavior?
I seriously think schools need to teach classes about how to behave and communicate on the Internet, starting at kindergarten and continuing up through 12th grade, right alongside gym, home ec and shop. My 13-year-old sister is constantly posting weird shit as her status updates, like this recent gem:
R.I.P D—— R—– P—- 1998 – 2011 . . .
If you saw this and wouldent care ( ignore it ]
If you saw this and would get sad or cry ( like it ]
If you would come to my funeral ( comment with a heart ]
Put this as your status and see who actually cares…..
WTF?!
Wouldn’t it be simpler to just create a facebook event for your own funeral and see who RSVPs yes?
It’s also weird that all the comments are hearts or likes, which comes across to me as though they like or love the fact that she (fake) died.
This is a great game. Here is a recent tweet from my sisters 14 year old friends twitter:
“awh, my playboy bunny airbrush tattoo is wearing off ”
followed immediatley by
“losing grip on everything and everyone. i can’t even breathe.”
Take away this girl’s hover-zune.
That comment I made for the Rebecca Black video yesterday? I rest my case.
I was actually thinking about that comment when I watched this. Well said.
Didn’t anyone learn ANYTHING from abc family’s Cyberbully?
I learned that if you are going to make a “goodbye cruel world” video, you should make sure you can open the pill bottle. If you can’t, it is just embarrassing.