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You guys KNOW that I love a feud, but oof, I am already exhausted by this and I have not even begun describing it yet! So, last weekend, celebrity editorialist (?) Pat Morrison began a column in the Los Angeles Times with the following sentence:
I can’t believe Zooey Deschanel is really the snobby cow she came off sounding like Saturday evening.
Are you still with me? Stay with me! We’re not even halfway there yet. What Morrison was referring to was something Zooey said at a BAFTA event attended by THE ROYAL WEDDING! (We still just call Kate and Leo William “the Royal Wedding” right? Still? Because of how we also used to call them that?) Here is that quote:
She worried that the area near the BAFTA event at the Belasco Theater in downtown Los Angeles might look shabby to the regal couple. “I just don’t want them to see the worst of L.A.,” said Deschanel.
The problem, of course, is that this quote was lifted from an article in USA Today. So, now Zooey is mad. WE’VE GOT OURSELVES A FEUD, FOLKS! My guess is that she does not like being called a “cow.” Hahha. To be honest, as boring as this feud is (and hold on, because it is about to get more boring. Wait until you hear what Zooey has to say!) can I just say that calling someone a “cow” is kind of hilarious? Takes me back to 1954! You guys know what cows are, right? Haha. Anyway, Zooey posted an open letter to Pat Morrison on her Tumblr (obvzzz) in which she points out that the quote was not only taken out of context, but that Pat Morrison wasn’t even at the event. (500) Days of ZINGER! Here are some excerpts from Zooey’s open letter:
I feel compelled to respond to your recent blog post, regarding comments I “allegedly” made outside the BAFTA dinner on Saturday night. I never spoke to you at this event; in fact, you weren’t even there. I am completely and utterly shocked that a professional journalist, whom I have never met, would take a partial quote out of context, and use it as the basis for a misguided personal attack. Further, I find it appalling that you would resort to name-calling to get your point across. In a court of law this would be called hearsay, and in journalism, I believe this should be the beginning of an investigation, not the end of one.
Let me be clear, the quote from USA TODAY that you used as the foundation of your piece, was taken completely out of context. I NEVER said Downtown LA was “the worst of LA.” I did make a reference to a parking lot adjacent to the theater that had a lot of trash in it in an attempt to be humorous. I simply said, “it’s funny they brought royalty here, there is a parking lot with trash around the corner.” It wasn’t an opinion. It was true. There WAS indeed a parking lot with trash around the corner. I thought the juxtaposition of British Royalty and trash was amusing in a high-brow + low brow sort of way, but I never said that I, personally, didn’t like downtown, the Royals, or even trash.
I LOVE DOWNTOWN LA and I relish in any opportunity to spend time there. I have pride in my city, that’s the reason why I thought it was kind of funny they didn’t clean up the immediate surroundings before the Royals came through. In the end of course it didn’t actually matter since those two crazy kids were flown in by helicopter anyway. Silly me. Regardless, I don’t even think I need to defend my love of Los Angeles. I am a native Angelino, and had you done any research at all, you would have found that I have been quoted in the press on numerous occasions talking about how much I love Downtown.
Now, let’s be clear: Zooey Deschanel is right! Pat Morrison’s (perfect) “cow” comment would have been a bit much even if she had been talking to Zooey Deschanel herself, but to lift an out-of-context quote from a third party and base your entire vituperative take down around it seems like shoddy work. Who does she think she is, A BLOGGER?! What makes this feud particularly boring, though, is firstly that Pat Morrison has already issued a sort of apology, or at the very least, a backpedal. But even more importantly, the thing that makes this thing such a non-starter is that I’m pretty sure everyone agrees that downtown LA is THE WORST? I don’t live in LA but even the few times that I have been there, not once has anyone that I’ve ever been with said “Hey, let’s go to Downtown LA! It’s neat there.” Actually, wait, that’s not entirely true. My friend Andrew did say that one time, right before he took me to the shooting range where they just give you guns right away no questions asked. We actually had to ask for a safety demonstration? I’m pretty sure in the movie Battle: LA the army was like “We have to save Los Feliz,” and Michelle Rodriguez was like, “What about Downtown LA, SIR?!” and the army was like “Goddamnit it, soldier there’s no ti–” and she was like, “I was just kidding, sir. No one cares, sir.”
What a bad feud! Downtown LA gets the feud it deserves, not the one it needs, I guess. (Via Gawker.)
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Yeah, it’s weird how rundown downtown LA is, for real. As a wide-eyed Midwesterner traveling to big cities, I was so impressed with the downtowns of New York City, London, and Paris. Then I visited LA a couple of years ago and was appalled. It really is a broken-down wreck.
Hollywood Blvd is also so seedy. As I recall, it was pawnshops, pornography stores, and tattoo parlors for block after block. It seems like it should be a little more…upscale? At least, more tourist-friendly? I don’t know if it needs to be Disneyfied ala Times Square, but it needs to be upgraded from the barely-above-slum level it is now.
Hollywood Blvd is trashy, but you’re wrong about Downtown LA. Sure, there are sketchy parts, as there are with any large downtown area. But there is tons of great theaters, restaurants, bars, art galleries, the shooting range Gabe talked about is awesome, and then there is this awesome sausage/beer garden with a mid-century modern/industrial bent to it that is just around the corner from it, there’s this sandwich shop called Cole’s that has the best French dips I’ve ever had and then–this is awesome–it has a genuine fucking speakeasy inside of it called Varnish that makes the best cocktails I’ve ever had, and there’s also the Disney Concert Hall which is a beautiful piece of architecture and then MOCA is down the block which has some great Jackson Pollacks in it, and there’s this really cool nightclub that’s in the basement of the old Edison electric plant and to be honest the clientele gets a little douchey but I’ve been there twice and you kind of have to go because it’s in the basement of an old fucking power plant and that’s awesome.
Anyways, downtown LA is great. Everyone shut up about it.
I once stayed Downtown, at the Millenium Biltmore, while on business in LA. One morning I walked down to the coffee shop on the corner and a schizophrenic homeless woman literally ELBOWED ME IN THE FACE, screaming “DON’T YOU DARE START TRACKING ME!!!” True story.
I’ve lived in New York for 12 years, but I’ve never been attacked by a homeless person before.
That night, my business partner and I got back to the hotel around 9 pm. We hadn’t eaten dinner and were starving. But, all the restaurants were closed? We ate at Subway, which was the only thing open.
Later, we went to the Edison to meet a friend for a drink. We waited in line for 30 mins to get in. We got in, it was Douchebag Central, so we left.
Sorry to disagree, Fozzy. Parts of LA are great. But Downtown sucks.
I’ve been attacked by a homeless person in the West Village of NYC, so I don’t think that should be the basis of whether a place sucks. However, downtown L.A. does have an outright shanty town, complete with tents and partitions, so I wouldn’t recommend going there after dark, though I think Las Perlas mezcal bar is definitely worth the risk…
Well, then let’s just say I PREFER to go to places where I don’t get physically assaulted by crazy people.
Also, the West Village sucks. #sorry
The West Village does suck so I guess my argument wasn’t that solid.
My brother got stabbed in the lips outside a bar in Wicker Park (Chicago) a few years ago. In the lips!
By a homeless guy. That part is important. It was a homeless guy that stabbed him in the lips.
That seems really hard to do. I hope your brother is OK!
He is, thanks. Slight scar, but he has a beard anyway…
True story: Was leaving a job interview in downtown L.A. and I saw a man next to the very nice building I was exiting sorting through dirt like a gold prospector. It was creepy. Most of downtown is creepy. I’d much rather protect Los Feliz, and not just because that is where I call home when I’m there. And stay the hell away from the traffic courthouse downtown because it is TERRIFYING.
That being said, downtown L.A. is next to Little Tokyo and in that Little Tokyo is a post apocalyptic mall. And in that mall is a place called Orochon Ramen. And I crave that vegetarian miso broth #3 like a crack fiend. Speaking of… could someone mail me some soup from L.A.? Just throw it in an envelope… that would work, right?
Spring St. bar is great.
The Downtown Independent theatre is great.
Casey’s is great.
Lost Souls Cafe is great.
Zencu sushi is great ($1.50 pints of Sapporo)
Daikokuya ramen house is great.
MOCA is great.
Mas Malo is great.
Art Walk is great.
La Cita is great.
Redwood is great.
Free summer Friday night Grand Performances are great.
It just takes time, which sadly many tourists don’t have.
DAIKOKUYA FOREVER.
Also La Cita and all the other ones.
Jeez, it’s good to be back on videogum! I haven’t been here in a month. I AM GLAD IT DID NOT COLLAPSE WITHOUT ME.*
*In some ways however this fact is hurtful.
This is a great and accurate list of things that are great in Downtown LA. I’ll add:
The Disney Concert Hall/Center Theatre Group is great.
Library Bar is great.
7 Grand is great.
Shabu Shabu House is great.
Pizza Next Door/Nazo’s Bakery is great.
There is lots of great in Downtown. Also lots of not great. Like most parts of most cities!
downtown LA is great as long as you don’t look down and see all the trash you’re stepping over to get wherever you’re going. and you ignore the fact that all the poor people you passed on the way to your “cool club” can’t get in or put food on their families. otherwise, it’s awesome.
I support all of this. Downtown LA has some really great areas!
But there’s also Skid Row, which has preserved its reputation with good reason. Skid Row is honestly the saddest sight I have ever seen in a city. Granted, I haven’t been to New York much, but it is a very bad area that needs a lot of help.
That doesn’t mean people should avoid Downtown at all though! Wurstkuche! The Edison! The Redwood! Cole’s! Varnish! Even the Art Walk! MOCA!
Misplaced fear/repulsion surrounding downtown LA is exactly how artists have managed to make a go of the city on their own terms. If only people were as freaked out by Bushwick. Sigh.
I think people mistake Hollywood the neighborhood with “Hollywood” the concept. Hollywood the neighborhood is huge, and runs the gamut from expensive and upscale to seedy as fuck. But that’s what I like about it — you can walk around the area north of Franklin by the UCB and see all these great old brick apartment buildings and big trees, and gawk at the huge Scientology celebrity center, then go a few blocks south-east-ish and be in Thai Town, then go west and see tourists getting their picture taken with a struggling/failing actor who dresses up as Spiderman every day and hangs out in front of the Chinese theater. It’s fun and weird and diverse in a million different ways. I think what throws people from other places about LA in general is that LA takes a little more work, but I think anyone willing to put in that work can see it for the actually fantastic (and frustrating, and bizarre, and many other adjectives!) place it is.
Also, I’ve never had a bad time downtown. To add to the cool places down there, the Brewery art colony is pretty fantastic! The fact that that place can even exist, and flourish, is something I think is uniquely LA.
Downtown LA has some very cool spots – great restaurants, fun bars, cool architecture, a great museum, a huge rad market and many other interesting things to see/do. It still is one of the ‘sketchier’ and dirtier places to hang out in the city though, and skid row is one of the most depressing situations you would ever see in any city. You definitely wouldn’t want to just be cruising around downtown at night by yourself. You can get a fancy hipster loft and isolate yourself from it all, but it is not a super neat area to live in.
I live in Hollywood, and it’s actually gotten a lot more chill the past few years. Much less ‘slum-ier’ than it used to be. Yeah, there’s the one super-tourist-trap stretch of Hollywood Blvd around the Mann Chinese which is totally un-chill and gross and times-square-y, but no one but tourists hang out there. The section I live in is really clean, has *fantastic* restaurants, one of the most kick-ass movie theaters in the city, and even a brand new huge Trader Joes. It’s like a real neighborhood! I’ve experienced the downtown living thing and much prefer where I am now.
That said: I’m really tired of the Zooey Deschenel uber-precious cutesy thing. Seems very deliberate/contrived. Calling her a ‘cow’ is very weird, and her comments probably were taken out of context third-hand, but I’m getting tired of her innocent little “who me?” act. I recently listened to her on the Nerdist podcast and she came off as really jaded and smug to me. Very private-school ‘actress-y’ kind of affect, which gets nauseating after a while.
Mooey Deschanel.
BUT Zooey D runs HelloGiggles, which is the worst thing.
Oh god, it really is the worst. Have any of you read the comments after one of Zooey’s entries. Please do. I have never wanted to be an internet troll but reading HelloGiggles makes we want to troll so bad.
but Zooey also just put this up on Hellogiggles, which is the BEST thing:
http://zooeydeschanel.tumblr.com/post/7534516699/hellogiggles-video-chat-karaoke-episode-4
For Jean Ralphio, The Jerk, and Ukeleles, I can forgive anything.
I am at work so unfortunatley cannot view this video. But i can agree that Jean Ralphio is the best in any situation under any circumstances.
Your recognition of this fact is appreciated. Likewise, I understand all too well the way some comment sections just bring out the troll inside that you never knew existed.
But not Videogum’s, because look at this agreement and compromise! So conciliatory! Monsters for Congress! (as opposed to the lowercase m monsters in there now?)
YES.
Seriously, drawing a super-flattering cartoon of yourself thinking your unfunny tweet is not comedy.
Also did anyone hear her on the Nerdist complaining about how she wanted to take improv classes but thought she was above starting at level 1 with everyone else? UGH.
YES and it was awful. That and her/Chris Hardwick doing the Circling Dance of Acceptable Musical Tastes.
That podcast made me want to barf. I used to think she was cute and probably interesting, but that smashed everything. She sounded like a smug privileged person who doesn’t appreciate what’s been handed to her. And I totally despise her deliberate whimsical-vintage-eclectic-er-than-thou take on music. “I only listen to rare 70′s ‘mellow gold’ compilations on vinyl. You probably can’t get those anywhere anymore, and don’t really understand how groovy and moody it is.” Gross. Sorry you have to deal with that constantly, Death Cab Guy. Or maybe he’s perfect for her. I don’t know.
I dunno. I kind of think that HelloGiggles is the YM of blogs (unless YM has its own blog? Is YM even around anymore? I would check, but I fear the google results would just be a picture of the Grim Reaper with a ticking clock underneath it because I am old now), so I have a hard time hating it. I would have loved it when I was 12*, so I cannot fault other 12 year olds for loving it.
*yes, 12 year oid me had questionable taste. That goes without saying, as all 12 year olds have questionable taste. I was also convinced that SeaQuest was the greatest show and premise ever and also that Jonathan Brandis and I were total soulmates.
Uh. How is Star Trek under the sea not at least one of the best premises ever.
Cosmopolitan is YM for adults.
“It’s funny they brought royalty here, there is a parking lot with trash around the corner.”
If anything, this joke is TOO funny. The only way I think she could have made it any funnier would have been if she’d threatened to stab her gay son.
It sounds like she just needs a good drover. Preferably one who’s not housebroken.
This doesn’t seem like a feud with the newspaper so much as it’s a feud between she and her.
“I am completely and utterly shocked that a professional journalist, whom I have never met, would take a partial quote out of context, and use it as the basis for a misguided personal attack.”
Does she not understand how journalism works and has always worked and will always continue to work?
That’s not how it has always worked. It only sometimes works that way now.
Pretty sure it’s always worked that way.
When you reference yellow journalism to demonstrate a consistent trend in the press that extends to gossip columns in the L.A. Times, I have to log in to upvote you. Herstorygum. Upvotes forever.
aw, you are in love.
What I don’t get is, isn’t it kind of an unspoken rule of thumb that if you’ve lived in a city for a substantial amount of time, you’re allowed to shit all over it as you see fit?
And I do mean “substantial”, Portlanders who have lived here for a fucking month and are already complaining about gentrification and the Pearl go away I hate you.
I didn’t know Portlanders EVER shit all over their city. Every Portlander I’ve ever met has made a point to shit all over any city that is not Portland.
That’s what Beaverton is for.
San Franciscans are the same. Man, do they love that place.
Additionally, New York is the best city, we’re all agreed, right?
You’re meeting the wrong Portlanders. The right Portlanders shit on those people.
Hey, I just moved here a month ago! I like it. I even like the crazy weather. But is it too much to get a thunderstorm? Seems unfair you get rad storm clouds and no thunder/lightning. Otherwise, pretty much perfect. Food good, people good, people watching amazing, dog-friendly, cute as hell…
Had friends from LA in town and they were all “wait, people get to live like this?” so hahahaha, suck it everywhere else.
Wait, can I do that yet? It’s been a month and a week and a couple days… I also do defend Los Angeles. And I like Brooklyn a lot. Chicago can totally rot in hell, though.
Welcome!!! I’m definitely exaggerating but it kinda bugs me when people talk shit about PDX like they grew up here. But give it some time – you’ll find plenty of things for which to poke the city in the ribs. One of those things is the constant self-congratulation for being part of such a great town.
Also, I miss thunderstorms every single damn day.
I think Zooey means she’s “completely and UDDERLY shocked.” ok, I’ll show myself out now.
No, please stick around. We’ve got a window table reserved for you. Tonight’s special is steak, served with buttermilk mashed potatoes.
I think you mean UDDERmilk, amirite?
Am I the only one that cringes whenever anyone says “juxtaposition” in any situation?
You musta shuttered a lot during SAT prep.
My mother is an art teacher at a very hoity-toity girls’ school, and one of the seniors made this sculpture out of Dunkin Donuts cups and tampons. Since the girl only took about 12 minutes making it, my mother asked her to explain the piece. The girl started by saying “Well, clearly the juxtaposition of-” and my mother cut her off there. The girl was given a dictionary and mom made her look up, and read aloud, the definition of pretentious. Momma says after, “If your work falls under that definition, people are going to laugh at you. Start over.”
That’s a good Mama Bear
I get the same thing with “synergy.”
Dude, I love Synergy
You need to get out of the office.
NOOOOO! I had a hilarious picture of Synergy from Jem posted, and now it is gone, and I look like a fool. Curse you Jem!
How about Sinergy?
Good save! High five!
As an amateur archaologist, I love the word “juxtaposition”.
I know Pat Morison was wrong, but…
I just feel like if “Forts and the Inbetween” were a person, that person would be Zooey Deschanel.
I can why there was a misunderstanding. It’s well known in LA that Patt Morrison has anti-trash filters installed on all of her hats.
Zoey is the best you guys.*
*ZOEY IF YOU’RE READING THIS PLZ DIVORCE BEN AND MARRY ME I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU FOREVER AND TREAT YOU RIGHT. I WOULD NEVER TAKE A QUOTE OF YOURS OUT OF CONTEXT I SWEAR <3
There are some promises you just can’t keep bro.
“But Ben spells my name right” – Zooey Deschanel
RATS
Is it weird that I love her even more because she spells her name like that?
Maybe a little weird, but not in a bad way. I like it because my brain reads it excitedly, like “Zoooo-eeeyyy, I’m so happy to see you!”
My favorite part is her defense of trash. “…I never said that I, personally, didn’t like downtown, the Royals, or even trash.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Maybe she’s a Grouch? She looks muppet-y.
Downtown LA is fucking great, Gabe. Go back to your house on the Upper West Side, you cow.
Zooey’s opinion is a moo point. You know, a cow’s opinion. It doesn’t matter. – Joey Tribiani
This is the only joke from Friends that I know and like.
“I’d rather eat cheese from a can than go to Downtown LA.”
-Goobe Delahaye
Happy birthday Michelle Rodriguez!!!
Marc, are you Michelle Rodriguez? And if you are…whatcha doing tonight?
I can neither confirm or deny the true identity of myself as Ms. Rodriguez. I can only give the probability based on the number of action movies we have both been in… 31%. We/she/I may or may not be hanging out in a parking lot in downtown LA tonight.
I haven’t been to L.A. in about 15 years, but my family used to visit almost every summer when I was a kid since I have a much older brother who lives there. My personal count is L.A. trips, about 12. Trips to actual downtown L.A. where all the skyscrapers live, 1, and that was by accident.
Wait, it’s Tuesday isn’t it? Where the fuck is my copy of Recycle Times Weekly????
My big takeaway here is that Gabe must have gotten dumped in LA, right?
Compton
Is the city I’m from
You never go outside
without a murder weapon
I think the take away from this so called “feud” is that Zooey Deschanel is very pretty.
Zooey Deschanel is our generation’s Gwyneth Paltrow. I can’t wait to find out what she thinks about all kinds of Important Issues!
disagree.
“bearface” is right.
Natalie Portman will be our generation’s Gwyneth. Mark my words, GOOP will be available at Kohl’s and some organic vegan Israeli-French* fusion of clothing, army training and hummus will be blogged on a weekly basis.
*Provided she stays with that ridiculously good-looking man of hers.
Natalie Portman can do anything she wants and she will remain my precious
I entirley agree with you. A few more years of this twee indie darling nonsense and Zooey’s going to be a regular ol’ asshole who has nothing important or groundbreaking to say, but will still say these things with such an assumption in mind.
I went to high school in downtown LA, and it was a total shithole but Alvarado street was cool and there were old hotels that would let us use Fake IDs.
Also there is some really pretty architecture.
I always thought the reason you would move to LA (other than to be famous) was to be in a place where you could have all of the culture, food, night life (yeah, it exists there) without having to live in shitty apartment 10 flights up with a view of a brick wall.
Cow, huh? I think someone may have just watched Australia. ZING! The door is which way? Ah, yes, there it is.
SUPER wrong and SUPER New York snobby on this one. There are lots of cool places in downtown LA. I think you need to issue an immediate apology to the entire city of Los Angeles.
TEAM ZZZzzz
http://www.benzlogo.com/
I tide fashion Good-looking, not expensive Free transport
Oh who cares about LA and whether it’s trashy or not?!
All I care about is that someone ruffled Miss Deschanel’s precious feathers.
HA!