Photos
Person #1: Ooh, this looks fun. What’s this?
Person #2: Hmm “AutoWed.” I guess it’s, like, a wedding thing?
Person #1: Oh, weird. I’ve never seen anything like this before. It looks so old-timey. I wonder what it does. It’s so cute!
Person #2: Yeeaahh…I don’t know. Yeah, it’s cute.
Person #1: How much is it?
Person #2: A dollar, I guess. It says a dollar but there’s only a quarter slot.
Person #1: [Reaches into pocket] I have four quarters. [Shrugs.]
Person #2: Huh. Well.
Person #1: [Puts quarters into machine.]
Person #2: Haha. Oh. Ok, well. Haha.
AutoWed Machine: Please select your union. Press 1 for–
Person #1: [Presses 1]
Person #2: You didn’t even let it finish.
Person #1: Oh, didn’t I? It said “Press 1 for straight.”
Person #2: No…it hadn’t said anything yet.
Person #1: Oh. Well, whatever!
AutoWed Machine: Please enter the grooms’s name–
Person #1: [Enters groom's name, presses 1]
Person #2: Haha, oh, well, this is moving pretty fast, wouldn’t you–
AutoWed Machine: Please en–
Person #1: [Enters bride's name, presses 1]
AutoWed Machine: Do you take–
Person #1: [Presses 1]
AutoWed Machine: Do you take–
Person #1: [Presses 1]
Person #2: One of those was probably mine to answer.
Person #1: What?
AutoWed Machine: [Dispenses rings]
Person #1: [Puts on ring, takes person #2's hand, puts on ring]
Person #2: That was cute, the way it spit out the rings. I wasn’t expecting that part.
AutoWed Machine: Congratulations, you may now kiss.
Person #2: Hahah [Looks at ring, takes out phone]
Person #1: [Looks at Person #2]
Person #2: [Looks at phone]
Person #1: [Looks at Person #2]
Person #2: [Looks at phone]
Person #1: [Looks at Person #2]
Person #2: [Looks at phone]
Person #1: [Grabs Person #2's head, kisses violently.]
Person #2: HEY–
Person #1: WE’RE MARRIED WE’RE MARRIED WE’RE MARRIED WE’RE MARRIED!!!
Person #2: This isn’t real, it’s just a toy machin–
Person #1: [Places handcuff around own wrist, takes other handcuff and places it around Person #2's wrist] We’ll be together forever! [Throws away handcuffs key.]
Person #2: HELP!!! [Tries to unlock phone]
Person #1: [Takes phone, throws it on the ground, steps on it.] That’s no way to treat your spouse.
AutoWed Machine: [Prints out marriage certificate]
Scene
[Via TheUniblog.]
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I just saw part of Serpico for the first time. It’s OK! Everyone seems very sweaty. Pacino’s clothes are LOL. But the thing that shocked me more than the rampant police corruption of 1970s NYC was the fact that there were apparently vending machines on the subway platforms? VERY good idea. This city was a fucking nightmare!
Everyone knows that the subway in the 70s was a great place to take your money out. It let people know you had status and were not to be harassed.
If you watch French Connection, when Hackman is tailing Fernando Rey, they are on the 42 St Shuttle Platform in Times Square and there is a hot dog stand with seats ON the platform. Hackman buys a Sno- Cone and everything. It blows my mind every time I watch that movie.
I’m surprised they didn’t choose gay marriage.
Err, um…
These things are gonna be all over New York soon. Obviously, they’ll let ANYBODY get married there.
Machines can do anything! In a few years when the spark dies down, machines have got them covered:
…
On second thought, nope, not gonna post those pictures. Use your imagination, sickos.
It was a smart move to make the wedding machine pink, what with how ladies be loving matrimony.
This “BIG” remake is really straying from the source material.
Hmmmm, my new avatar did seem kind of familiar….
Distopia? Or Utopia?
“Finally; a member of the clergy I can actually talk to.”
Hey, speaking of marriage, anybody feel like contributing some ideas for the bachelor party I’ve been putting off planning? Cigar lounge has been ruled out as way too expensive, copious amounts of alcohol and nudity are out as my brother is pretty boring, so any other ideas? It’s in Austin, if that helps.
Moderate amounts of alcohol and nudity?
When I was in Austin, one of the nights, a group of friends went to this bar called Ego’s for Karaoke. It was extremely divey and extremely fun. I’ve only been karoking a few times, but this ranked at the top. If that’s something your brother might dig, i recommend.
Otherwise: Kids birthday party themed. cake. hats. maybe some games. maybe some inflatables. etc.
PAINTBALL. Done. You’re welcome.
In Portland there is a converted ATM machince called the Church of Elivs and it also performs weddings, but it costs 75 cents.
Hello,
I saw your AutoWed vending machine post on your blog and wanted to see if you might be interested in a NAMA (basically the big, national vending machine association) hosted facebook contest called Vend.Love.Win., which just launched earlier this month. The contest is simple to join (and win!) and it gives entrants the opportunity to win money for themselves or their favorite local charity!
All users have to do is upload a creative photo or video that includes their favorite vending machine or vended product, along with a short description explaining why they love it. On the last day of each month, the top 20 entries with the most votes will each win $200 for a charity of their choice or a $200 Visa gift card for themselves to spend as they wish. We’re also giving away a $5,000 annual prize for the absolute BEST entry before March 30, 2012. The entry with the most votes overall will win the grand prize.
I’ve included a link below to the contest that provides additional information. I’ll try following up with you soon to see if you have any feedback to offer about our Vend.Love.Win. Facebook contest, but in the meantime, if you have any questions I can be reached at 312/765-8770 or via e-mail at kcarson@healyandschulte.com. Thanks for your time and consideration and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best,
Keeley Carson
Link to contest: http://www.facebook.com/VendLoveWin?sk=app_112813808737465