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“I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can.” – Gwyneth Paltrow
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'Sup, pogs!
Let's all go to the movies, and let's all see the same movie, and let's discuss it here.
Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
i’ve had a crap morning today, so forgive me in advance for being so crass, but what a classist bitch.
Apologizing for calling GP a bitch on Videogum is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while.
i aint been around regularly in a long time! i don’t know the etiquette anymore! all i know is that i’ve had it up to here with rich motherfuckers- and it tends to be female rich motherfuckers- dispensing out life tips like golden fucking nuggets from their over privileged pampered asses. i want to go smoke some crack right goddamned now and eat all the cheeses in cans in the world just to spite this skinny asshole. and then, you know, burn down wall street. priorities!
Sing it, sister!
PS – Gabe has a burning, unquenchable hatred for Gwyneth
Sadly this is not the first thing like this that she’s said.
“I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-A-Soup.” -Gwyneth Paltrow (http://www.slashfood.com/2005/08/23/gwyneth-paltrow-chooses-death-over-cup-a-soup/)
Joke’s on her because as soon as she dies I’m totally feeding her kid Cup-A-Soup. Actually, it’s the generic version, not even brand-name Cup-A-Soup.
“Canned cheese is whack!” -Whitney Houston
“Canned cheese is for poor people. If I bought canned cheese, where are the receipts? Show me the receipts!” -WH
Well, I’d rather smoke pot than eat cheese from a can. The irony is that smoking pot greatly increases the likelihood of me eating cheese from a can.
The weird thing is when she does eat cheese from a can, she also uses a broken lightbulb.
maybe it’s just because i’ve been gone a while…but FLW has been killing it all week.
all week, every week
“I’d rather smoke crack than eat
cheese from a can. ” – Gwyneth PaltrowI think this is more correct.
Gabe, are you sure she is not self aware?
The other quotes are pretty deplorable:
She can “eat any man under a table” and says, “I drink constantly while I’m cooking,” — “Wine, either colour.”
And you know she pronounced the U in “colour.”
“I can eat any man under a table” – TWGPS
I choose to believe she meant that she can eat any man, just so long as she’s under a table. This would confirm both her evil cannibal nature and her snootiness about etiquette.
So many people are taking this as a criticism of cheese from a can. I prefer to interpret it as Gp proclaiming her love of smoking crack.
this reminds me of a GQ interview a couple years ago with Keith Richards where the interviewer basically said, “You’ve been known as a severe, undiscerning drug addict for decades how are you still alive?” and he answered, “i don’t eat cheese, mate. that shit is poison.”
me being a midwesterner, i take to cheese like Keef would to smack…neither of us care where it comes from.
I can’t stop looking at this.
“Thin line between heaven and cheese from a can.”-Bubbs
more useful info from an average, working mom
I’d rather goop the goop then goop a goop, you know what I’m saying? – GP
Yellow Tops! Got them Yellow Tops!
You sir, are the winner.
“I’d rather smoke crack than eat Gwyneth Paltrow.” –Clifwith1f
Is there anyway we can actually make this happen? Don’t say things you don’t mean Gwynneth,
He doesn’t agree.
“Let them eat cake.” – Gwyneth Paltrow, constantly. (But yea, cheese from a can does sound gross.)
“Let them eat gluten-free organic Croquembouche*, my good friend Jay-Z simply adores it”- Gwyneth Paltrow
*I googled “fancy name for cake” to learn this word and 1) google finished the phrase as soon as I got to the c in cake 2) This shit looks delicious