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Great news, guys, they’re going to make another Pirates of the Caribbean movie probably. Oh thank goodness! After this most recent episode (which has made one billion dollars at the box office, literally, which is an astonishing fact that is very hard for someone like me to make any sense of!) I was worried that the franchise couldn’t get any more confusing, less interesting, or visibly worn out. But ho! There may be some exhaustion juice left in this old war seahorse (get it?) yet! From TheWrap:
Johnny Depp is close to signing a deal to star in a fifth “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie, an individual close to the negotiations told TheWrap. In May, producer Jerry Bruckheimer said he was working on a fifth “Pirates” script — and that he wouldn’t make the movie without Depp.
“Hopefully, if this one does well, (Depp) will want to come back and play the character again,” Bruckheimer told the L.A. Times. “But it’s going to depend on the screenplay. It always does. He’s maniacal about not wanting to disappoint his audience.”
Haha. IS HE? Is Johnny Depp maniacal about not wanting to disappoint his audience? Can we get some doctors or scientists to back that up in court, please? Make no mistake: Johnny Depp is great, no joke. He is a very talented actor, he makes really interesting decisions both with individual characters and with his career choices in general, and other complimentary things to say about it. But I’m not sure that he’s MANIACAL about not wanting to disappoint his fans. If that were the case, maybe he wouldn’t have been so quick to make Jack Sparrow a weird, mumbling homosexual in the first place? I’m glad he did! But you know what I mean?! Even Chocolat seems like a bit of a stretch for the average Johnny Depp fan. I think? Wait, now that we are on the subject, WHO IS the average Johnny Depp fan? (That is a good question. I will take my answer off the air.) ANYHOW, enough about that. We have work to do! We have to figure out what the tagline should be for the new movie!
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Kiss Of The Lobster Queen
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Deepest Waters Of Magic Water
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Gold Coins Pajama Party
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Madea’s Ocean Reunion (Black Pirates Of The Caribbean)
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Pirate Academy VI
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Journey To The Edge Of Shrimp Town
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Pirates Mariniere
These are just good movie titles!
“Congrats, kid, here’s a bag of cocaine-dusted 1,000 dollar bills. Welcome to showbiz!” – Jerry Bruckheimer (via Bluetooth)
Make your own!
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Pirates Of The Carribean: People Who Enjoy These Movies Are Similar In Intelligence To Members Of The Obama Administration
Pirates Of The Carribean: People Who Enjoy These Movies Are Similar In Intelligence To Members Of The Obama Administration
It’s the second one we like, apparently.
*Head roll*
Pirates of the Caribbean: Laundry Ship
Pirates Of The Carribean: Harry Potter And The Deadly Hallows Part 3
Pirates of the Caribbean: A Ride for Children
Pirates of the Caribbean Meet The Harlem Globetrotters
Pirates Of The Carribean Meet The Snorks
Pirates of the Caribbean: Maniacal About Not Disappointing My Fans something something Treasure
Pirates Of The Carribean: Ernest On The High Seas
Pirates of the Caribbean: Tokyo Drift
Pirates of the Caribbean: When Cpt. Jack Met Lloyd
Pirates of the Caribbean: We Already Took $10.25 Out of Your Checking Account 3-D
Pirates of the Caribbean: Out of Depp[th]
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Irate Pirate
Pirates Of The Carribean: The Irate Pirate And The Rural Juror
Pirates of the Carribean: The Trail of Captain Hook
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Edge of Treason
Pirates of the Caribbean: Sunken Chest and No Booty
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Johnny Depp Needs A New Private Jet Hanger
- One God’s trash. A pirate’s treasure.
- Tighten your swashbuckles, it’s going to be a bumpy boat ride!
- Keep the secret of #Pirates5 close to your (treasure) chest!
A quick note about Depp and his career: He hasn’t really had an actual career for maybe the past decade. Oh sure he’s made a shit ton of money but no one gives a shit about any of the films he’s made during that time. And his turns as Willy Wonka and the Mad Hatter lead me to think he’s not so much a talented actor as an easily bored Brando wannabe who makes random character choices to amuse himself. Hey Depp, if you’re so bored, maybe not do sixteen more Pirates movies or shitty Burton adaptations where you get to wear a year’s worth of makeup at once. Rich asshole.
Also, and I say this to clarify as opposed to go out of my way to e a dick, I think we’re all confusing ‘tagline’ for ‘subtitle’. An example of a tagline is ‘You will believe a man can fly.’ ‘On Stranger Tides’ is a subtitle by comparison. Now we all know! (I’m really not trying to be an asshole, I love this site)
Pirates Of The Carribean: Curse Of The Mislabeled Subtitle
Pirates of the Caribbean: Pirates of the Carabiner
………………………………………rock climbing.
Pirates Of The Carribean: This Shit Again?
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Last Crusade of the Raiders of the Temple of the Crystal Skull on Ice in the Caribbean
Pirates of the Caribbean: Mediterranean Vacation
Pirates of the Caribbean: Crabs on me booty
#directedbymerchantivory
Pirates of the Caribbean: Revenge of the Myth
Pirates of the Caribbean: Darkest Days of Ha Just Kidding It Doesn’t Matter What I Write Here, You’ll See It Because You’re An Idiot, I Can Write Whatever I Want
pirates of the caribbean: bread and circuses
Pirates of the Caribbean: Lowering the BARRRRR
Pirates of the Caribbean: Sparrow Swordhands
Pirates of the Caribbean: Jack Sparrow, Assholes
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Search for a Billion Dollars
Pirates of the Caribbean: This time the pie rates are just too high.
Those films are about pies, yeah?
The Pirates of the Caribbean Take Manhattan
This would of course be a crossover with the new Muppets movie.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Journey to the Edge of the Money Ocean
Pirates of the Caribbean: De Derp De Derp Johnny Depp Deetley Derpey Derpey Dumb
Pirates of the Caribbean: Jamakin’ Me Crazy or How I Learned To Stop Worryin’ And Love The Journey to the Strange End of The Dead Man’s Pearl
Pirate5 of the Caribbean: Starboard Drift
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Tides That Are Less Strange Then the Previous Ones, But Are Still Rather Peculiar
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Tides That Are Less Strange Then the Previous Ones, But Are Still Rather Peculiar
Pirates of the Caribbean: We’re Going To Need A Bigger Boat (for all the money it will make)
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Depp Charge 3D
Pirates of the Caribbean: Back in the Habit
Pirates of the Caribbean the jerk store called and they’re running out of you
Pirates of the Caribbean 5: They’ve Made A Huge Mistake
Pirates of the Caribbean 5: …C’mon!
Pirates of the Caribbean 5: The Curse of the Seaward
Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Say Goodbye to These, Because It’s The Last Time!
Pirates of the Caribbean: Grog Mysterious Woman Swords Swords Gun Boat Explosion Jump In The Water Can We Go To Bed Now?
Pirates of the Carribean: Another DVD to Give Your Dad for Christmas
Pirates of the Caribbean: The 7 Seas: 3-D
POTC:T7C:3D
Pirates of the Caribbean: We Sell Sequels by the Seashore
Pirates of the Caribbean: Trilogies are for quitters!
Jerry Bruckheimer looks like a bad caricature of a dinosaur that turned into a human.
Don’t you mean “Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Jerry Bruckheimer looks like a bad caricature of a dinosaur that turned into a human”?
Pirates of the Caribbean: Lost at Sea
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Golden Pond.
Pirates of The Caribbean: Too Le Shit To Quit
(‘Heimer Don’t Hurt Em)
Pirates of The Caribbean: The Legend of Curly’s Gold
Pirates of The Caribbean: Drowning in a Sea of Cash
God willing we’ll all meet again in Pirates of the Caribbean 5: The Search for More Money.
Pirates of the Caribbean 5 is brought to you by L’Oreal Wear Infinite Waterproof Eyeliner.
This should have more upvotes, it works on multiple levels (3, to be specific).
Well, kind of 4 now that I think about it.
1) The PotC movies are very commercial
2) Waterproof, obviously
3) Jack Sparrow and then everyone else ever in a pirate costume after him wear lots of eyeliner
4) An infinite number of PotC movies are going to be made
I thought very hard about your joke, orangeyouglad, and it was worth it. I am glad.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Back 2 Tha Hood: Sparrow’s Got A New Rap
Pirate5 of the Cari5ean
Pirates of the Caribbean: The One Where They Rape That Douche Orlando Bloom.
I’m sorry, that’s not all that intelligent.
2 Piratety 2 Caribbeany