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For those of you who are lucky enough not to know this for some reason, LuAnn DeLesseps is a character from The Real Housewives of New York. She used to be called “Countess” LuAnn DeLesseps because she was married to a count, but he divorced her. (She held onto the title and calls herself that, but Videogum is old fashioned and does not recognize divorced landed gentry.) Being on any of the Real Housewives properties includes the contractual obligation to record at least one horrifically awful “pop song” per cast member per show at some point or else they have all their wigs taken away from them. That is just a legal obligation. But the agreement says nothing about insane garbage music videos. Nevertheless, LuAnn felt compelled to make one for her song, “Chic, C’est La Vie” (goood name for a sooong!) and it is completely unacceptable. Like, we are all very glad that New York legalized gay marriage last week, but with that out of the way it’s time for Albany to get some REAL work done, namely passing laws banning The Real Housewives from making music videos because NO.
No way! As a grown up adult, how are you going to make something worse than Ke$ha? This is a good YouTube comment, though, from user “TheBlammah”:
nothing personal against the countess, do your thing, glad you married count chocula and became a countess, but i just wanna let you know this video only got a hit so i could post it on someone’s wall to make fun of it.
Haha. Nothing personal, Countess, you understand. This is BUSINESS! And business is GOOD! You just got BLAMMAH’D! (Via Vulture.)
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This is the best Jackie Collins drag queen routine I’ve seen all week.
Slow week?
Yes.
That is some VERY careful enunciation.
Ehh, she kinda messes up the line that goes, “Ramona bring the penis.”
The only reason she’s famous is because she’s the son of Tom Hanks.
Oh my god, the Countess and Chet Haze should do a song together and win all the Grammys!
#getcounted
You know, a Countess isn’t all that powerful in terms of royal hierarchy. It’s somewhere in the middle. So she can go on about how great it is to be her, in the end, she’s no Duchess or Marchioness.
I thought the proper term was Contessa? Unless the Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego game show was lying to me? Either way, she’s not vampiric and made of felt, so I reject her title completely.
WHY DO THEY ONLY DANCE SITTING DOWN? That’s the most infuriating part to me (also, that it exists).
They way she says (sings?) the word “elegance” really bugs me.
If she’s going to just talk the whole thing, she needs to either auto-tune it, hire a young urban gentleman to rap it, or commit to spoken-word poetry.
She just become the frontrunner for being cast on my new hit show, “The Real Housewives of Drowned In The Atlantic Ocean.”
late stage capitalism, you so funny!
I just logged in for the first time in months to say I love you. (I just logged in for the first time in months to say I caaaare)
#reallytryingwaytoohard
I’m really glad they hired Honey as their choreographer!
So I have no idea who this lady is and I watched it with the sound off, but is this like the adult version of what that Rebecca Black company is all about? Vanity projects for rich people that are actually terrible? “Ok, Countess, this is the part where you’re having ‘fun, fun, fun, fun’ with your friends. Try not to look confused when we put blush on your armpit.”
That logo of hers at the end of the video looks like it needs to be checked out by a doctor.
Ark Music is having a banner year.
Needs more upvotes
“Find your dreams within yourself, and live with dignity.”
Whoops.
Also, needs more twerking.
so there’s this economic theory of development about how the logical conclusion to economic growth is the “age of high mass consumption”. which is like the perfect thing to chant to yourself when you are at a mall, or watching tv, or driving along a terrible highway facing miles and miles of checker’s billboards, neon signs for topless diners, and payday loan signs. it becomes like the religious invocation- probably due to the inclusion of the words “high mass”- and this, this is pretty much it, all botoxed and plucked to resemble what once was a human female.
I like you. Let’s be friends.
late 90s Madonna called, she wants her “rap” style back.
You know what’s the grossest? People who list luxury items as examples of what it means to live a good life.
I’m not saying I’m above wanting nice things. Of course I’m not! I like nice things, and it would be cool if I had more money for nice things. But things aren’t your life, ya know (very good insight)? In summation, fuck that lady and everyone who aspires to be like her.
a few years ago i either read or heard a report on why people in the US love luxury items so much, and the idea was the fact that since we tend to work way way way more than people in the industrialized world, we tend to use objects as substitutes for leisure. like, you can’t really take the vacation because your boss needs you on hand at all times, so instead you blow a couple thousand bucks on a new watch or earrings for your wife because you need to prove to her that you love her. so instead of using our money to experience things, we use our money to own objects that project the idea of being able to experience things. also there have been some interesting sociology studies on how objects now carry so much insinuations about the owner’s actual self worth, so like, it makes more sense to buy a iphone and a coach purse than put that money towards like healthcare or something, because in order to be successful you need to project the image of already being a success.
y’all, i go back to school in two months, so i’ll stop commenting again right around then.
You too serious, girl.
But for real, that makes sense for the average person. The boundaries between work and home life are virtually non-existent for too many people, and I’m sure this is just one of the shitty consequences of that.
But for people who are actually wealthy (Ms. DeLesseps), I just don’t understand it. I’ll never get rich people who don’t understand that the chief benefit of wealth is freedom.
i think once you’re so far removed from the grinding bullshit of every day life you kind of can’t understand how important money and wealth actually is. which is super counter-intuitive. but. basically just read the opinion pages of the wall street journal for like a week and you’ll notice it. or read interviews of people who like win 80 million dollars in the lottery and then drive themselves into penury in a few years. once you hit auto pilot on the idea that you are set for life and dont have to worry about anything, then you can just be an opulent dickbag until you spend so much money that you lose all of your german castles. (i’m looking at you, nicholas cage.)
That’s doubly interesting because the idea of leisure time is a relatively new concept, and didn’t really take root until after the industrial revolution. Therefore, we’ve cycled from having zero leisure time and working in a steel mill 94 hours a day, to having a home/life balance, to back to working in an Blackberry mill for all the hours a day.
“And to think i was saving my vacation hours for the future!” –Steel Mill Worker Orphans
consumer culture is even newer than leisure time! there is an excellent bbc documentary on how freudian psychology was used to spur demand after ww2 in order to keep the factories and growth machines a-pumpin after the war, since everyone was so terrified of falling back into the great depression. so instead of making bombs, we started making dishwashers. and then the ladies got all bored with their leisure time and that’s how feminism happened! (that last part is only partially true. all the white ladies that could afford dishwashers got bored with their leisure time and that’s how feminism happened.)
you can watch it on the youtubes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_0g1RUQMVQ
as an aside, i love your avatar, schmartmann!
and i yours, southernbitch! bacon is one of my favorite foods/painters. i stole my avatar from the front of a “bloom county” compendium, and was titled “gesundheit!”
southernbitch – i just learned something real from a post about a horrible music video. while i expect laughs all over the place from videogum, i did not anticipate getting served some knowledge. you are wonderful. i like you a lot.
Oh god, I totally just did this (but to a much lesser monetary extent because I am only amateur-league ballin’ over here). I won’t be able to take more than a couple days in a row off, and my boyfriend can’t really take time off at all or else old people don’t get to their doctors and I was bummed we can’t go camping with some friends (which would require dogsitting arrangements anyway) so I bought myself some presents. Now I feel like a tool
. But a tool with presents, so yay! I can’t help it, I just love presents.
I hope she talks like this even when there are no cameras around. Just gurgling words into a vacant palace or whatever.
When there are no cameras around she does not talk because nobody of her status wants to be around her and she’s too good to talk to the help.
Damn you, ugliest dog in the world, for giving this one to Luanne! It should have been written for Simon!
he turned it down to make this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbRlRUlXWz0
This is a very good song for Pitbull to do a guest spot on.
I’m mostly confused about what elegaaanzzz is.
Fake and grey
For some unknown reason, I’ve always hated Teri Hatcher. Seeing how much “the Countess” resembles her in this video makes me hate her more. I almost hate her now as much as Gabe hates Gwenyth!
My favorite part was every second the cool middle-aged dude with the mohawk was in it. He just looks very hip and very cool, finger on the pulse. I bet he’s the fun guy out of all these people that look really fun to hang out with.
i don’t know what errbody’s problem is. man, this shit be catchy yo. c’est bon! c’est bon!
http://www.benzlogo.com/
I tide fashion Good-looking, not expensive Free transport
Gabe and Kelly, I only just realized that it’s part of your actual, real life job to watch things like Real Housewives. For the longest time, it seemed that you guys just watched what you watched last night and filtered it through your creativity. I watched a couple minutes of Real Housewives tonight (due to this post and alcohol) and I’m mortified. I’ve never seen a full episode but I imagine that it’s like pulling nerve endings from your fucking gums. So, thanks for writing not about the show, but the ridiculousness around the show. I really do appreciate it, as I imagine everyone else does. And I appreciate what you guys do in general. Reading Videogum helps me to have a healthy disconnect from a poisonous pop ‘culture’ in which I’m inexplicably immersed. You guys are really taking one for the team.
Well, it’s obvious that I’m drunk, but as long as I’m drinking — Here’s to a pop culture that doesn’t require Gabe and Kelly to write about the absolute worst. May it be soon that they have no choice but to write about the absolute best.
It’s great because it’s a message that everyone can relate to.
Not ironically, her nickname growing up was “Slant-Rhyamm LuYann”
UHG. That is all.
What is amazing …really Unacceptable…
http://www.zimbio.com/Weight+Loss/articles/jpXbTZaghon/Shake+Away+Review+Eat+way+out+yet+Slim
That was the longest women’s deodorant commercial I’ve ever intentionally watched.