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I owe Tom Hanks an apology. A PUBLIC APOLOGY. You see, over the years, I had grown to dislike Tom Hanks. Isn’t that just classic me? I think it all started when I watched The Terminal dubbed in French and someone was like “Qu’est-ce que c’est dans ton coffee can?” and he said “C’est le JAZZ!” Had you been there, I think you would have decided to hate Tom Hanks, too. But the truth of the matter is that even though I haven’t really liked a single Tom Hanks movie in forever because they are always broad and corny and have sappy endings and really just aren’t very good or at the very least are not for me (although fingers crossed for Larry Crowne, right everybody?) you have to admit that as a celebrity he is VERY LIKABLE! The guy is always upbeat in a way that feels genuine, the way you would expect a millionaire movie star to be upbeat. Up and at ‘em! No day like today! Life sure is a magical adventure! Etc! Not, it should be noted, in that wearying way that some millionaire movie stars are upbeat because they spent all night rehearsing “upbeat” and then woke up before their alarm and rubbed an entire jar of vaseline on their teeth. He’s having fun! And he does produce very good World War II mini-series for HBO. So, I am sorry, Tom Hanks. I am sorry that I confused C’EST LE JAZZ with who you are as a human being. You seem very nice. I hope that’s true. In either case, keep enjoying yourself. You earned it.
Meanwhile, something something joke about Chet Haze! (Video via Vulture.)
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El diablo blanco y morado!
I waited 3 minutes and 5 seconds to see some chopsticks, Hanks. WHERE WAS THE CHOPSTICKS?!
Mi nombre es thisismynightmare.
I believe you mean “Me llama thisismynightmare.”
So this is how they do the weather in Mexico? Just dance and never talk about cold fronts? I love Mexico
This is actually filmed in Miami, but hooray for Mexico anyway!
Welcome to the Disney Monorail. For the safety of you and others, please stand clear of the dancing Hanks. Por favor mantengase alejado del bailando Hanks.
RT @TomHanks! Get #GETAPPRAISED. by Gabe.
Gabe is like our generation’s Roger Ebert, but for people instead of movies.
screwed that one up. i guess my brain #GOTMALAISED. and now this joke #GETSCLICHED. #HOORAY
I really want Gabe to say, “Isn’t that just classic me?” every time he writes about how he doesn’t like something.
I like her tush.
Editor’s choice over here!
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
That is just not even close to being correct.
Huh. Perhaps I was being naive (classic me!), but I didn’t expect you to suddenly become one of THOSE commenters. You know, “Everyone here tries too hard to be cool. It’s not possible that everybody here is just trying to have a good time and make their friends laugh and maybe they happen to have a similar sense of humour so it’s easy to all laugh at the same things and also some people are just ‘cool’ whatever that means.”
I probably should have seen it from the juvenile and gross username and lack of avatar. I guess I just thought you were a new guy!
But seriously, everyone, no one be THAT commenter. It’s boring!
I like her dupa.
fixed?
I was kidding, but I do suppose my username is juvenile and gross– I chose it quickly and without thinking. I just liked the way it sounded.
I still think that this lady’s butt is just so big…so out there. She looks like…
“I liked your comment.”
“You fucking douchebag!”
You would plopfart dreams…you would.
I am sorry, the correct term we were looking for was “tushie.” Yes, that’s right, “tushie.”
badonkadonk?
My second language is French, so obviously I’m a little bit out of the loop on this terminology. We say Tushè.
Culo?
I had no chance of even remotely figuring out what was going on there, let alone pick up on a Chet Haze refernce. Can someone fill me in? What am I missing?
A few teeth and some of your hair.
funny guy
He quietly sighs and says “I hate my son” at 2:32.
I was waiting for it too, but when it never happened I realized that Gabe was talking about the reference that he makes at the end of the post. Because you can’t talk about the Hanks dynasty without at least mentioning the Haze.
I’ll just assume ‘Despierta America’ means ‘Desperate America’. DANCE, AMERICAN ACTOR! DANCE FOR US, YOU FOOL! #BachelorParty
i love it that the name of the show translates to “Wake Up, America”–the must-have phrase for seasoned letter-to-the-editor writers
¿Como se dice “pranks”?
One of the weirdest experiences of my life: Hired by TNT to do the press junket for Bonfire of the Vanities. All of us were brought to a screening the night before and all of us left the theater absolutely miserable. Then, the next day we were escorted to the hotel suite where we had to individually interview Brian DePalma, Bruce Willis and Tom Hanks. Time to work on our acting chops: “Loved the movie Brian.” “Terrific casting!” “You were wonderful Bruce.” etc. DePalma looked suicidal. Willis was a total dick. And Tom Hanks was the nicest, warmest, most genial person I had ever met. It felt completely genuine. But, yeah, most of his movies have sucked since Splash and Big.
What? the Ladykillers wasn’t good enough for you? it had Marlon Wayans ferchrissakes!
All kidding aside…i watch You’ve Got Mail every time it comes on TNT or whatever channel its constantly on. remember dial up connections?
I will still watch Ladykillers at least twice a year despite remembering every single thing that happens in it. I don’t know why it continues to amuse me, but it does. It’s just enjoyable.
#humblebrag
Eighties movie’s Tom Hanks is the best Tom Hanks of all the Tom Hanks.
I thought Toy Story was pretty good.
I thought Charlie Wilson’s War was really good. It was entertaining and funny and it had Phillip Seymour Hoffman and it was kind of short too so it didn’t overstay it’s welcome.
Awwwwww, i was expecting HIM to reference Chet Haze.
I worked on a set with Tom Hanks (SNL a few years ago). In between takes he cracked jokes to entertain the kids who were acting as extras because it gets boring and they get tired. He was incredibly down-to-earth. Good to know you can still be successful in Hollywood as a nice person.
#humblebragathon
All these humblebrags about him are making me really, really happy. I always hoped he was as nice as he seemed in interviews and it seems that he is! Yay!
apropos of nothing, (nothing other than gabe using the phrase correctly in the above) one of my facebook friends said “up and adam” the other day.
“Up and atom!”
“Up and at them”
I’ve recently begun working* on a theory, that not on a looks level, or maybe even a talent level(though he is very talented), but just on a being the absolute best and most loveable guy around level, Tom Hanks might be our generation’s Paul Newman. I won’t know for sure until I’ve tried his lemonade.
*working=just kind of rambling about it to whoever will listen
I will support your theory just because I love Paul Newman and his salad dressings (SO GOOD).
Also the Newman O’s!
Hmm. Gabe used to not like Tom Hanks. Then this past week on The Best Show on WFMU w/Tom Scharpling, Tom Scharpling starts a topic for callers about likable/unlikable celebrities and Hanks gets high marks by all. Then Gabe writes a blog about Tom Hanks being likable, posts a fun video showing him being just that, and apologizes for not thinking Tom Hanks was likable even though his movies have not been very good lately. Coincidence? You be the judge. Also, everyone should listen to the Best Show.
So, like, are we thinking her badonkadonk is padded or is it real? If it’s real, then I have a slow clap for her.
Guys I saw Chet Haze the other day! I was crossing Sheridan in front of Kellogg and I looked up because I was about to walk into someone and it was Chet and he looked at me and we both kinda moved to the side so as to accommodate each others walking patterns and then I got to the sidewalk on the other side of the street and went on with my day. True story!
lucky!
#notahumblebrag
No no no no no no no no. What I said was, is LIKE Sony guts.
Disco! Disco!
I like that Hanks appears to have absolutely no idea what’s going on and is just desperately attempting to keep up. Somehow reminded of Avery Jessup on Mad Money – “Is one of you Jim Kramer!?”
I always had non-specific fond feelings for Tom Hanks because of watching “Bosom Buddies” reruns growing up, but when he was on Stephen Colbert’s USO special helping him box up puppies and ice cream for the troops I was like “Yes. he is OK.”