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It has been almost a year since we last heard from “musician” T Mills, and a lot has happened since then. A year is a long time, especially for young people, whose bodies are going through all of those changes and who know now that their parents can’t actually tell them what to do. Since last we heard from T Mills the Republicans regained control of the House of Representatives and nearly retook the Senate. James Franco and Anne Hathaway hosted the Oscars (haha, remember THAT?). Videogum hired Kelly Conaboy. And GAME OF THRONES! So many things that are both very important to teenagers, and very meaningful to their personal lives. Look, the point is, the world changes constantly, and we are all in a different place now than we were a year ago, even teenagers, SO WHY ARE THEY STILL LISTENING TO CRAP LIKE THIS? Look, we’ve all made some mistakes in the sweet rush of youth, most of them having to do with Manic Panic hair dye and learning how to use devil sticks, but good grief, teenagers, you have to know you will come to regret this. (Headphones UP, these lyrics are NSFWOLOA*.)
Go to your room. All of you. Everyone’s grounded. Forever. (Thanks for the tip, Ian.)
*Not Safe For Work Or Life Or Anything.
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*=?
Not Safe For Work Or Life Or Anything
Maybe? That’s my guess.
Not Safe for Work or Life or Angioplasty. I’m sure that’s it.
Not Safe for Work or Life or Agnew, Spiro. Has to be.
You may want to see a doctor, Gabe.
Why can’t kids listen to the music I listened to as a child? Namely, Bobby Goldsboro and novelty songs about monsters having a good time
The Monster Mash is all about subtext, Mitchnmurray, and that subtext is filthy.
Can anyone provide a Freudian analysis of the One Eyed Flying Purple People Eater?
Kids these days just love having new clothes
I feel God sent him here so we’ll be nicer to Chet Haze, sorry Chet Haze you’re not too bad, also sorry guys for sending this tip
You know that scene in Ferris Bueller when they are at the Chez Quis and he pretends to be Abe Froman. Then the snooty maitre-d’ says, “I weep for the future.” When I was I kid, I thought that guy sucked.
This video just made me aware that I am now on team maitre-d’
I fucked this white girl
She’s got glasses because her eyesight is poor
She rides her bike in the proper bike lanes because she’s sensible and cautious.
She has a few tattoos that are very meaningful to her and she recently decided to splurge on a new pair of jeans but that’s okay because she’s my wife and I love her very much
She doesn’t sound so bad
Thoughts while watching without sound:
“Too many cutaway shots! I feel like I’m getting motion sickness. Hey Director Kid, it’s OK to stay on a shot for more than 4 seconds. Give me time to adjust to your image before throwing me to something else. *hork*”
“Hey, I have that IKEA bedspread.”
“I don’t know, there’s a lot of Gender Issues going on here.”
Girl takes her panties off at 1:09 and I am Too Old For These Shenanigans. And I feel dizzy. Someone else will have to tell me how this video ends, hopefully in bloodshed and mass extinction of these Hipster Scenekids*.
*note: I have no idea if these are Scenekids, Hipster Scenekids, or what. Get off my lawn, etc.
Pretty sure these kids count neither as “scene” or as “hip,” as I’m pretty sure you need to be within 100 miles of anything that can be considered a “hip scene,” and the aqueducts and parking lots featured in this video don’t count, I’d like to believe. Hell, I’m pretty sure even the most violently-coiffed metal dudes would beat the stuffing out of this kid for his shitty rapping.
Can we call them sadsters?
So many STD’s in that video, probably.
(What?)
Do I smell a T14TT in the works?
Taking a stab.. Not Safe For Work Only Ludacris Organ Armpit
NSFWOLOA
Not Safe For Work Or Life Over All
Some day, he’s gonna fuck with the wrong white bitch:
Hey, I go to the University of Insensitive Use of Headdress as well!
T. Mills saw Crazy Town’s “Butterfly” on TRL when he was eleven years old (he was born in 1989–he’s 22!) and the next step in evolution has now been taken.
He’s Generation Y’s Shifty Shellshock.
White guy fucks white girl, film at 11.
I got a freaky intraracial sex fetish, dog.
Oh great, another asshole bragging about how “educated” they are.
Pretty sure that if Bon Iver had made more references to fucking white girls on his new album, Pitchfork would have knocked him up to that 10.0. Maybe.
Fucking white girls in cabins in the woods is relegated solely to bad guys in Eli Roth movies
Not sure if it’s exact, but I counted 5 nonwhite people in that video. Max.
The other day on the train I saw a dude with those crazy stretched-out earlobes, but minus the rings inside. It was actually more horrifying than I would have imagined.
Wow, that was what I was just wondering!
Wow. Of course I knew that was going to be completely terrible before listening. But, man, that was so much worse than I ever expected! I’m actually kind of impressed at how terrible it was on every level–sound, look, sentiment. Terrible, terrible, terrible. Give me harmless Rebecca Black any day.
T. Mills, I hope I get to see what you look like when you’re 35–with earlobes hanging to your navel and 97 percent of your body completely covered in ink. #wisechoices
And I hope he doesn’t make it to 35.
Any time I see a privileged, young, white, asshole acting like he’s so fucking hardcore he can handle anything, I like to imagine I am operating some kind of galactic crane. And that I can just pick him up by the back of his shirt crane-game style and transport him all the way to some war-torn, fucking psychotic place. Like, hey guy! You think you’re badass? Try some Libyan rebellion on for size!
Oh, bad language apologies. I don’t mean to sound so aggressive. It’s just that I’m so very educated.
Upvotes because the dipshit in this music video looks EXACTLY like one of my bosses (I am 21 and my boss is younger than me), and your rant approximates what I mumble in the breakroom every single day I work. That ridiculous my-life-is-so-tough attitude is gonna end poorly for those kids – at least, that’s what I have to tell myself.
I couldn’t watch all of this. When does his mom walk into his room and yell at him?
More Kreayshawn coverage pleaze, Gabe. T Mills is so 2010.
Look what you’ve done!
Mark it. Today was the day, while watching that music video, that I felt really, really old. I bristled when he said “motherfucker,” like I was like, “Oow! language…”
back in the day when i was just a wee 13 year old KO, my mom told me that she didn’t want me listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers or Ice Cube. something about them being crude and swearing, i don’t know i wasn’t paying attention…to busy listening to Jackin for Beats.
i always told myself, no way would i ever do that to my kid…he can listen to whatever he wants.
fuck you T. Mills for making this way harder than this should be.
That was PUNK ASS.
Sike.
They just don’t make rap like they used too.
It’s this kind of shit that makes me ashamed to be part of this generation.
Elvis Presley and his gyrating hips brought on this musical apocalypse… pretty sure that’s where it all started.
I’m confused. None of the girls in the video had the neck tattoo he kept talking about…
“And if your girlfriend got a mouth she can blow me.”
This is almost TOO romantic.
And it was at this moment he realized he was the oldest and (probably) smartest person in this video, and the futility that revelation carried.
So many people die every day.*
It is so unfair, that this asshole is not one of theam.
*About 9 thousant people per second or something.
Whenever I get mad at music like this, I remember that I owned the Butt Trumpet CD “Primitive Enema” and bite my tongue. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primitive_Enema
So I guess I’m the only one who didn’t think it was that bad? I mean, yes, a skinny white 16-year-old (22 is LIEZ!) who probably filmed this video after soccer practice and before his lunchables snack is really annoying, and also why are white people talking about banging white people? BUT, it had a decent hook and I could bob my head to it.
Which is to say, it’s worlds above the “Don’t Put It On Me” video by Courtney Stodden.