Uhhhhhh. Before watching this “commercial” I would have thought that a barbecue-themed perfume that smells like “an intoxicating bouquet of spices, smoke, meat, and sweet summer sweat” would have been the most ridiculous thing, but it turns out the most ridiculous thing is the creators of a barbecue-themed perfume’s idea of what a blind date is like. “Why can’t she just talk about sports?” “I don’t even think he likes Sex and the City.” What is going on here? Ladies, when you get nervous during your first encounter with a guy at a restaurant known for its fluorescent blue martinis (?!) is the very first thing that comes out of your mouth some manic explanation of how much you like on-line dating, which is surprising, because I didn’t think anyone liked on-line dating? Probably. Oh, ladies. Oh, this perfume. (You aren’t off the hook either, fellas. Why do you want to fuck a rack of ribs so badly? Just kidding, I know why. BECAUSE A RACK OF RIBS WON’T TALK BACK AM I RIGHT TRACY MORGAN?!) Buy some here! (Via LaughingSquid.)

Comments (35)
  1. this commercial goes HAM!

  2. ¿Qué?

  3. Que, as in, WHAT!? also, who hasn’t been to restaurant in years? who are these people!?

  4. Before watching I thought Que was, like, ‘what’ in Spanish. ¿Que?, which is what I said to myself after watching this commercial.

  5. I never joke about my cologne, Double Oh-Seven.

  6. My dogs already try to lick my face enough as it is, thank you. I am not adding a BBQ-flavored perfume into the mix, no matter how much the kind of rude, Kenny Powers-sounding guy I met online likes ribs.

  7. I thought this was just a joke, like a commercial for a BBQ restaurant. HOW IS THIS A REAL THING?!

  8. Seriously, what a bitch. Who doesn’t launch into passionate barbecue talk seconds after meeting someone for the first time?

    And that fucking asshole didn’t immediately tell her that he likes Sex and the City?! These jerks deserve each other.

  9. Here, just take it already…

  10. “Come Oonnn… Say Barbecue, Talk about it Please…”

    • This commercial wasn’t realistic because there were no frosted tips.

    • this guy. its like someone saw poochie the dog and said “thats not what marketing people would make, i’ll show you what marketing people would make”. i swear to christ he is like the xtreme apocalypse brought to you by the spike network.

      • The first time I ever saw this guy was in some ad for … Chile’s? … and I couldn’t figure out why Chili’s was parodying something like this and then I couldn’t also find the actual parody, and so then I realized he was a real person who lived like this. I was sad.

  11. I’m glad these two space aliens disguised as humans were able to find each other, but it’s going to be really embarrassing when they get back to their home planet and realize they were just studying each other the whole time.

  12. Here’s me getting all “women’s studies,” but is it weird that the thing that bothered me the most about this commercial wasn’t the clearly failed attempt at satire, but rather the “message” that the campaign is centered around? Ladies, even if you have zero chemistry with the strange guy sitting across from you, you better pull out all of the stops to get him to want to have sex with you, and if the BBQ fetish creep proposes, well, you had better say yes. Oh em gee, you’re getting married!

  13. “I’m really attracted to women who smell like MEAT, like COOKED MEAT.” — an ordinary, sane person whom you would definitely want to date.

  14. that is waaaaay too classy to be my cologne.

  15. It’s always a bad sign when a lady’s “secret weapon” smells like barbecue.

  16. As a result of my day job, this fragrance is sitting right next to my laptop. It smells like what it says. To my mind it’s demonstrably effective viral marketing. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand then I watched this. Woah. Hey, ladies, sure this JC Penny catalog model reject has contempt for everything you love and are, but if you embrace his perverse desire to marry a barbecued human, you just might snag him.

  17. True Story: I used to work at a fragrance shop, and we carried KISS Cologne. As in, cologne made by tha band KISS. Two of the notes were black pepper and cumin. One day a girl came in and was like “My dad loves that band! Does it smell good?” I told her I thought it smelled like chili. She said “He loves chili too!” and bought it.

  18. Why buy the cow when you can get the BBQ for free?

  19. They’re totally doing the dry rub tonight.

  20. “I never thought I’d love anybody more than I love my smoker.” – Seth Rogen

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