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Hahha. Whoa! Congratulations, LADIES! Looks all all of your work with The Secret trying to will the Universe into making Muccia Prada hire Tobey Maguire as the company’s spokesperson has finally paid off. What is even going on here? Like, Tobey Maguire is a pretty good actor. I think the Cider House Rules is kind of stupid, but he was definitely good in Spider-Man 1 and Spider-Man 2, and he was at the very least hilarious in Spider-Man 3. JAZZ HANDS! (See also: Wonder Boys and The Ice Storm, both good!) But a high-end fashion template? Is this that thing where you are supposed to think a model is pretty because she is so ugly? Because the guy has got gobble chin and anime eyes and baby voice and bobble head. No problem! I ain’t care! I can’t afford this stuff anyways. Boo hoo, I’m sure. Who am I trying to impress? The mouse that lives in my oven? Besides, these ads aren’t for guys, they are for girls, and girls, we all like what we like. I’m sure this was a better choice than Jon Hamm. I’m sure Chris Hemsworth was like “Muccia, please, I couldn’t possibly do this until Tobey Maguire has turned it down. It wouldn’t be right, as the second-best-looking man in the world, to steal food from his gorgeous mouth.” Man, Chris Hemsworth, you guys. Did you see Thor? I am not gay, because it’s not gay to be in love with a GOD. (This post is normal. Good post. Let’s blog.)
Click through to enlarge if you want to do that for some reason, and also a second photo of Tobey Maguire looking like he’s writing “Mr. Prada” on his jeans with a Sharpie only to cross it out and start crying again.
Sorry, other spokespeople. It’s a wrap at the 2011 Spokesperson Awards. Clean sweep for Mr. Magooire. (Via AdWeek.)
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Little does he know he’s actually the spokesperson for Prado. That’ll teach him to sign contracts on Canal street.
Damn, Toby. You just got Burnburry’d.
:”This fake ad shoot stole three hours of my life! See, I timed it here on this genuine Bolex watch!”
Miscommunication, they wanted another actor from Spiderman 3 for their campaign
The Topher Crowne Affair.
what’s up with that dude, anyway?
With great Prada comes great responsibility.
I do not understand fashion.
You don’t understand that it takes courage and vision to look like a zombie? Some might simply say that sickly and demented is in vogue (in-joke!) for upper-crust models, but the genius of Toby is that the second image straight up looks like he was photoshopped into a scene from 28 Days Later.
(New ad campaign: 28 Pradas Later. Better.)
What, like Topher Grace was busy?
If only we still knew what Topher Grace was up to!
That semi-turtleneck under the v-sweater under the jacket that gives the uncanny impression of some horrendous chest rash probably costs more than all my assets combined. Cool.
Don’t you know that it’s now fashionable to wear hideous rash-colored shirts with weird necklines? Fashion is cyclical, and we are obviously cycling through the Black Plague Era of Fashion.
Personally I just don’t think he has the right body type for the types of cuts Prada has. I’ve got nothing against skinnier dudes but, with the cut of that suit it looks like he’s a little boy playing in his dad’s closet.
Agreed. And the way he’s sitting/leaning on the table… Hello Mr. Slouchy! That pose is not making you look more like an adult and less like a child.
he will ALWAYS look like a little boy playing in his dad’s closet
Sorry, Tobey, this does nothing for me.
Saw this and thought of you, Nightmare, even as I brought a printout of it to my barber and said “make me look like this so that I will have all the sex from now on, please.”
All you have to do is ask.
“Hey, what’s wrong with anime eyes and bobble heads?” – Every Prada model
It’s obviously all a ploy to snag the role of Mr. Trudy Campbell in the next season of Mad Men.
I don’t think that’s very fair Gabe. Tobey Maguire is basically the male Uma Thurman; he can be quite handsome and he can be pretty unattractive depending on the intent of the person handling him. Plus, he pulls of a much better introverted / sickly menacing demeanor than a typical pretty boy would, and designers dig that.
I would love to see him play someone really really evil, but to my knowledge he hasn’t yet. Any ideas for characters, fellow monsters?
a Patrick Bateman/Dexter type? Like someone who could pass for normal but also kills lots of people. It could be a very weird Pleasantville sequel
He sneaks into his favourite shows to murder the characters…no one can stop him, because it makes for good viewing…
I was so close to saying WHAT ABOUT SIN CITY then I realized that was that better-chinned anime-eyed studling, Elijah Wood.
I’d like ta lie ja wood right—oh nevermind.
Well, now I understand that people telling me my celebrity doppelganger is Tobey Maguire is actually a huge insult…
Is that a MOCK NECK? Who is he? Elliot from ‘Just Shoot Me?’ This is better than all that J.Crew heritage shit but these outfits look like they were curated from the lost and found of an ailing country club in Connecticut.
Also, the “rust” mock neck makes him look like he has Kevin Spacey in ‘Pay it Forward’ chest.
Did you just mock Enrico Colantoni? That’s Keith Mars you’re talking about!
“Someone get me a model who fills a shirt like a 13 year old boy, stat.” – fashionistas
This goes for both men’s and women’s fashions. It’s equally disturbing for both.
Wait, I get to bitch about Tobey Maguire AND Prada at the same time? Worlds be colliding, yo.
Get the look.
This is only somewhat less racist than the ads he did for PRAVDA.
I’ve run into some weird people at Pravda before….
I did see Thor!
The turtleneck in the second picture makes it look like they photoshopped Tobey Maguire’s head onto George Hamilton’s body.
“One morning over at Elizabeth’s beach house she asked me if I’d rather go waterskiing or lay out. And I realized that not only did I not want to answer that question, but I never wanted to answer another watersports question or see any of these people again for the rest of my life.”
PRADA
Wearing sweaters is much cooler than pretending to be a superhero. Good career move.
FIRST…IT’S MIUCCIA NOT MUCCIA PRADA…and you wrote it…you don’t understand fashion so don’t speak..don’t write about it…Not all the Italians ( as I am..from Milano ) love to see the D&G big guys like all around the world…the important thing is what can the model of the moment let you feel when you see the advertise…we have all different tastes…and you don’t know the reasons of Miuccia…so..don’t crash it..