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Hot dogs are delicious. Yum! Everyone knows that. Come on. If you met someone and they didn’t know that hot dogs were delicious, you would have to send them back to do school all over again, Billy Madison style. “If you don’t graduate from the fifth grade, you don’t get your inheritance of one package of hot dogs.” (That is a real quote from that movie and I challenge you to prove me wrong.) But hot dogs are also boring. OH MY GOD, SO BORING! They just sit there on the bun and don’t look anything like a human being at all. Uh, hello? I’m trying to have lunch, not DIE OF BOREDOM. Wait, what? Are you saying that I don’t need to die of boredom at lunch anymore ( make no mistake, I eat hot dogs for lunch every single day, I’m sure. It’s called “brain food,” and it’s important.)? Because now there is an invention called The Happy Hot Dog Man that cuts your hot dog into the shape of a human being or if not a human being then at least one of those weird floppy dancing tube people that they put on the top of used car dealerships? Why didn’t you say so, imaginary person I am fake having this conversation with!
This has been going around the Internet because people think it’s “funny,” but I don’t really see what’s so funny about it. It’s just a useful cooking tool developed by some of the world’s greatest chefs, inspired by their lifelong love of wonderful food. CHECK PLEASE! (Via Dlisted.)
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Hot dog man vs hot dog octopus, which is better? Serious debate, show your work, go!
Nannerpuss did it.
I have wanted to buy this for years, even though I do not even eat hog dogs:
http://www.baronbob.com/octodog.htm
I have also considered giving it as a gift for many occasions, including weddings (but not funerals because, contrary to what I would like to believe, I do not actually put the fun in funeral), but I have never purchased it because I do not want it to gather dust in someone’s kitchen. What if it ended up being the kind of gift that you feel too guilty to get rid of, but you don’t really want to use it, either, and eventually every time you think of it you are riddled with guilt? I do not want to be the person who ruins octodogs for someone else, is what I am saying. I think?
I like about :54 seconds in when those girls are really sad about eating a normal hot dog, since hot dogs are nothing but sad, and then they get the happy hot dog man and they are so happy, and also so hot dog so man
Now I have a way to act out my cannibalistic tendencies in a safe and legal way.
What, smiley face pancakes just weren’t doing it for you anymore?
Perfect for the neighborhood budding serial killer, who has always wished that boiling a little person alive could be part of his daily routine!
thinking about a hot dog being a tiny little living person is approximately one million times more appetizing than what hot dogs actually are.
If my food doesn’t look like a human being then I’m not hungry.
Something be one million times more appetizing than delicious? One Happy Hot Dog Man, please!
I’m actually not a pirate.
“It’s like a toy you can EAT.”
I used toothpicks and a butter knife to make my hot dogs into dogs and people before I drowned them in ketchup and Cheez Whiz and devoured them alive. Kids today have no imagination.
We’ve clearly learned nothing about the dangers of posting videos of wieners.
Much Like Hot Dog Man (I call him Hot Doug, bc Pun), I too am comprised of Turkey Necks and Gizzards, Hog Leftovers, and Reconstituted Chicken Bits.
Also, Boot.
Hmmm… I think I did this wrong
“Hey Mr. Doughnut man, who’s trying to kill ya? I don’t know but they better not!”
I have also invented a Hot Dog Man device. I call it “Knife.” You can buy it in stores now, even Bed, Bath and Beyond!
Gabe is right. Hot dogs are very delicious, which makes this product extra crazy. It’s like, the dogs are done man! Put that shit in your belly! The longer you play with them, the longer you’re waiting for delicious wieners!
“The longer you play with them, the longer you’re waiting for delicious wieners!”
That’s what she sa…wait a minute. This was way too easy. I smell a sting. Are you a cop?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I think these hot dogs are beautiful. They really give me that human connection that I crave when eating my hot dogs. Most hot dogs are all about the mystery “What is this hot dog made of?” when all along hot dogs have been about the people. Hot dogs: brought to you by J.J. Abrams
I love how it’s “safe for kids”. The thing that has an opening the size of a finger that slices whatever is stuck in there with an arsenal of blades when you close it…is “safe for kids”.
Four happy hot dog men? How many goddamn happy hot dog men does one person need? Then again…that would be a hilarious thing to give as a gift. Three times.
Did she just tell me to put my hot dog into the happy hot dog man? I may be a vegetarian and all, but I’m pretty sure she’s doing that wrong.
Oh wow, these comments. Just, all of them. I had to clamp my hand over my mouth to try to control the laughter at work.
i sense potential for wavy blonde spaghetti hair
Also, the bonus Ketchup Kritter is clearly more of a Ketchup Kreature, especially when paired with a Mustard Monster.