Photos
I have great news, everybody! NBC is bringing back one of your old, canceled-too-soon favorites. No, not Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Yeah I agree that they should give that one another shot, though it did end nicely enough. Not Freaks and Geeks either, be quiet about Freaks and Geeks. No, not Firefly. Please stop guessing. Firefly was not even on NBC. It’s your favorite one I don’t know why you didn’t guess it already: Fear Factor! From Deadline:
Now, under new boss Bob Greenblatt, the network is going further back in the past to bring back to life one of NBC’s first reality hits: Fear Factor. The network has ordered a new season of the series, with Endemol USA back as producer and Matt Kunitz and David Hurwitz as executive producers. It is unclear if Joe Rogan will return as host.
Six more seasons! Six more seasons! This is very exciting news of course, but it begs the question: If not Joe Rogan, whom? He was so good at it. “I’m Joe Rogan, eat these bugs!” It’s certainly a tough call, but we are very smart about TV and we have lots of very good suggestions: 
Justin Timberlake
Singer, actor, handsome comedianne, there’s is nothing Justin Timberlake cannot do. Remember that rumor about how he was maybe going to join the cast of SNL for a season? That was stupid! This is better than that.
This
I wanted a picture of a robot with sunglasses and this is the closest thing I could find. Here is a video of it dancing. A robot with sunglasses would be a very good host but it’s possible that a dancing hexapod robot with sunglasses and a hat (curiously omitted from the 2010 Hexapod Dance Off) would be an even better host.
Chelsea Handler
If there is one thing we all need more of in our lives it is Chelsea Handler. Are you there vodka it’s me Kelly and I just want this one thing!
Thumbs Up for Rock ‘n’ Roll Boy
An inspiration to us all. Though, because everybody would be eating all of the feces that they have to eat or whatever and they would all get their million dollars, it might take some of the dramatic tension away from the show. And I guess that might be why people watch Fear Factor. “Will they or won’t they eat all the feces?” They will! He knows they can do it. And then you’re just watching people eat feces. I’m sorry for saying that!
Chandler Bing
Could you BE eating any more bugs?
Cast of Under the Umbrella Tree
Iggy would be like, “Do the stunts, c’mon!” And Gloria would be like, “I don’t know, Iggy, that seems kind of dangerous.” And Jacob would be like, “Oh I don’t know it seems fine to me!” And Holly would be like, “Bedtime, guys!” And then everyone would have to go to bed.
Vincent Gallo
This suggestion is so good I can hardly contain myself. “Hey everybody, welcome to Fear Factor” said with a Vincent Gallo impression. Hahah! That is very good. Let’s move on.
Birdie
This seems obvious enough? I kind of feel silly pointing this one out, actually. I hope we’re not stepping on any toes in the Joe Rogan replacement department at NBC. They can take the credit. We just want what’s right for Fear Factor.
So that’s pretty much it, I guess? Please let us know if we overlooked anyone but I definitely cannot think of anyone else. (Thanks for the tip, Scott.)
 |
 |
You Might Also Like
 A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: The Unaired Fear… |  The Fear Factor Reboot Drinking Game |  Awful Joe Rogan To Return To Hosting Awful Fear Factor Show |  The Office Series Finale Drinking Game |
Leave a Reply
Sign inSign in with FacebookYou must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.
Carlos Mencia
Ahhhhh! You beat me to it!
Alternatively Joe Rogan’s other great nemesis, a random teenager on myspace.
Whatever happened to that guy? It’s like he finally developed some common decency and vanished.
He and Jeff Dunham were taken into custody by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents so that their “humor” could be weaponized in the fight against Dr. Doom.
Joe Rogan will always have my respect because of that. He’s really underrated for helping popularise the UFC as well. By far the best commentator in sports today.
Joe Mande, taking one for the team
Steve Winwood’s avatar.
Danny Devito picture.
Gif of Steve Carrell dancing.
Jpg of Ryan Gosling saying “Hey Girl.”
A photoshopped pic of Gabe’s face on Donald Trump’s head.
Gwynnie.
Carson Daly. I think his deadpan delivery would be a nice contrast against people lying in a tank of scorpions.
Everyone in Odd Future
This is actually perfect.
I do love Firefly.
This guy
“Before you eat these cockroaches, I want to have a frank discussion with you about why you feel you need to eat live bugs on national television just to win a trip to Cancun.”
“Let me tell you a very heartfelt, very eloquent story about one time when I ate cockroaches in high school.” — Mans Rogan
“How do you upvote on this fucking remote???” — Viewers
Steven Tyler
Tyler Perry
Perry Ellis
Ellis Island
The Lonely Island
Los Lonely Boys
Sh’boss Boys
Bing Commercial OR Fear Factor Hosts
Philosophy
The entire cast of Murphy Brown.
Paul Reiser as Paul Reiser.
Paul Reuben as Peewee Herman.
Vincent Gallo as Charles Manson.
Actually that would be brilliant.
I just want to squeal about Under The Umbrella Tree and move on… I watched that show all the time.
No Big Comfy Couch love?
Chloe Sevigny won the only episode of “Vincent Gallo Fear Factor”. only back then it was called Brown Bunny.
perfect.
When you win you lose.
The actual Statue of Liberty, relocated to NBC studios.
It’s going to be either Joey Fatone or Guy Fieri, right? I mean, that’s not even a joke, it’s just for sure going to be one of those two.
Are you sure those are two different guys?
No Guy Fieri is Mark McGrath and the guy from Smash Mouth not Joey Fatone, honest mistake
I can’t see the name “Joey Fatone” without thinking in my head while I am reading it “Joey Fat One.” So for that alone I vote Joey Fat One.
I think the answer is obvious: Joe Rogan and Nic Cage do a Face/Off so the host is still Joe Rogan, but he’s just sporting Nic Cage’s face.
Meanwhile, Joe Rogan’s face on Nic Cage’s body rides a Razr Scooter along the Appalachian Trail.
It’s going to be like Doctor Who, Rogan is going to come out and begin the regeneration process and when it’s finished, Jay Mohr will be standing there in Rogan’s leather jacket and v-neck T.
Then a Dalek kills him. Then the opening credits of Firefly appear on screen. Then Mila Kunis and Allison Brie emerge to sit on the couch and watch it with me. Then I wake up. Then I cry.
I kind of feel that Birdie would be like “What’s the big deal guys? That insect covered, cow blood pizza looks DELICIOUS. But seriously, if you’re not going to finish that…”
Winwood?
“OMG SQUEE! I just ovulated” – some girl, after watching a cute kitten video.
“Ugh. I think I just became infertile.” – me, after seeing that picture of Vincent Gallo.
The Two-Headed Taylor Lautner/Robert Pattinson Hydra Monster that we voted to replace Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man way back in 2010.
Mark Wahlberg who starred in the movie “Fear,” in which he fingered Reese Witherspoons on a rollercoaster.
FEAR FACTOR
4
EVA
i’m scrrrrd
i’d like to downvote myself for posting a gif
He is also the producer of Turtle, who now wears Adam Scott’s old suits.
Marc Maron
I do like the idea of his pre-challenge interviews making all the contestants bear their souls and weep BEFORE they have to eat the scorpions.
I also enjoy that image Kelly used featured Joe Rogan’s face basically scratched out as if she was his psycho ex-girlfriend (I know Kelly personally in real life and spoiler alert, she is Joe Rogan’s psycho ex-gf! sorry Kel-Kel cat’s out of the bag (i let it out because you shouldnt keep cats in bags you crazy!))
“In Soviet Russia, maggot smoothie drink YOU!”
Adam Corolla. Rogan replaced him on The Man Show, so it seems only fair. (I’d say Jimmy Kimmel but Corolla needs the work way more.)
Towlie!
Mr. Hankie!
I found this post very entertaining but I must register my displeasure at the misuse of the phrase “beg the question.” Go ahead and downvote me, I don’t care, it’s a pet peeve and I hate it. Kelly, I still think you are very smart and a good writer, it’s just my thing. Thank you for listening.
I found this comment to be very informative, but i must register my displeasure because it sounds like a comment from my high school english teacher. Mrs. Cheney? is that you? get out of here, we’re having silly time discussing a show where people devour horse testicles to win money.
I’m with you, girlphilosopher. Kelly is great! And lots of great people get this wrong, all the time. But I secretly voted for Hillary Clinton in part because she used this phrase correctly during her campaign.
If someone used “nauseous” and “begs the question” correctly in the same speech/article/fever dream, I think I would be his or her girlfriend.
Uhoh. I’m sorry, guys. At least I didn’t say, “Joe Rogan coming back and hosting it again would leave me really nonplussed,” RIGHT? At least I didn’t misuse nonplussed! Can we please just for once talk about how I didn’t misuse nonplussed?
You didn’t! See how awesome you are? Very awesome.
Oops!! Accidental downvote!! Which begs the question….wait, never mind, I don’t know how to do it I don’t think.
A Bill Cosby impersonator would be ideal as well.
I think Jon Hamm should host it as Don Draper. He could intimidate people into eatting bugs and/or swimming into tanks filled with aligators.
Also: Under the Umbrella Tree! The best episodes were the ones with Stacy Mistysyn because she is adorable. Totally normal thing for an adult to say.
“Eating bugs isn’t good or bad. It just is.” John “Don D” “Honeybaked” Hamm.
james franco duh doy
As a serious answer, I would nominate the guy from the Chelsea Handler show who is always rubbing his balls on things. I forget his name. I know, I know, Chelsea Handler, she’s the worst. But if you skip the monologue and the interview and just watch the panel discussions, it’s a pretty funny show. And short. And that guy is both very handsome to look at and pretty disgusting, so it would seem like a good match.
Non-seriously, everything about that Vincent Gallo nomination makes me so happy I just peed a little bit. Hosting Fear Factor would be the perfect use of his talents, which I’m sure he has.
Obviously is should be either Jeremy Piven or Ari Gold. One of the two.
How about Stephen Hawking? I think this show could only help his hypothesis of a Godless universe.
Flava Flav.Whenever there is a lull in the proceedings he could stick his face in the camera and go “Taste the Flava…OF FEAR!”
I imagine he will be doing this quite a lot.
This is how I imagine that robotic head would host the show:
Robot: “CONTESTANT! Transmit data about your unusual talent.”
Contestant: “Well, I have this thing whe-”
Robot: “EXCELLENT! Begin flirting protocol with female contestant.”