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Here’s a video that’s been going around the ‘net kind of (which will be my introduction to every video when I host my own morning video show with Kelly Rippa called Good Morning, Kelly) in which Paul Jury, who wrote the book States of Confusion, which I can only assume is Eat Pray Love for cars, says a stereotype about every state. Ok! Some of these are a little weak, though. Like Pennsylvania’s, for example: “Even our Amish will fight you.” Comee onnnnn. That’s not that good. And here is where I would put in a better one if I could think of one. “The cities that we have are kind of ok.” That’s all I can think of. Let’s think of better ones maybe? You think of a better one. (Via LaughingSquid.)
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Illinois: Why can’t my dumb tumblr ideas I don’t actually bother to see through become a book?
that one’s sort of specific to my apartment
Here, here.
That, or Old Style cans fighting Pabst cans.
I think they should change Pennsylvania’s to “Yins”
Ummmm, no. There’s a significant portion of the commonwealth that relies on the “yo” and “youse” rather than “yins.”
you mean in philly?
Pennsylvania: We have a chocolate amusement park, that is the greatest thing ever
I like it! It makes me think that we have three rivers of chocolate here in Pittsburgh.
If only! At least we have Primanti’s…
I didn’t understand the California one but apathy prevented me rewinding it more than twice.
Dude needs another shirt.
Vlogger/AuthorsVille-We Only Have One Shirt
New Mexico: Now with 2 area codes!
We will only ever have one in Rhode Island
Yeeeaaaahhhh, but RI is the smallest state in the country…. NM is the 5th LARGEST right behind Montana.
Rhode Island: One of our cultural landmarks is a giant blue cockroach that we put antlers on at Christmas time.
I hate Rhode Island. Love RI monsters though.
Is that really a cockroach? It’s embarrassing how concerned I am that I’ve thought it was an ant since I was an infant.
Actually, it’s a termite and it’s name is Nibbles Woodway. I wish I were joking.
But, but, but….. VJ Day!
Sufjan really dialed back the scope of his 50 State Project.
California: where they film things that are obviously in California* and pretend they are in other states.
*I think
Vancouver: Same! Oh wait. That is in Canada.
“Vancouver: We Are In Canada.”
More like, “Savannah! We’re kind of ashamed of Atlanta.” (Georgia)
To be fair, they have freshly pulled taffy in Savannah. We just have freshly brewed beer in Atlanta.
And freshly brewed Cokes!
And also fresh coke lines!
I thought Louisiana’s stereotype would be that we all have pet alligators…well, we do.
Pet Narrators?
Also! The fastest and most reliable mode of transportation: the pirogue.
“New York: Andrew Kornfeld, the coolest guy in the world, is from here!” That’s gonna be in six years from now when the New World Order declares me the coolest guy in the world. (I included my full name in this comment to get it on Google and get the ball rolling.)
(I’m sure in six years I will be the most notable thing about New York, not any giant populous metropolises we might have.)
Hi. I’m in Delaware.
me too…LSD by the beach, yo!
New York: MARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIA! THROW DOWN THE KEY, MAMA!
I went to England, and this is a conversation I had:
“So you’re from America? Where are you from?”
“New York.”
“Ooooooo!”
“The state! No the city!”
“Oh…”
In conclusion; New York: Hey, you know there’s an entire state above that city thing?
Pennsylvania: They have really weird insurance laws.
That’s a very specific and unusual stereotype, but it’s true and it’s also the only thing I know about Pennsylvania.
As someone who grew up watching the Pennsylvania Game – an honest-to-goodness game show on PBS – this statement saddens me. Pennsylvania is home to Mr. Rogers! The First AND Second Continental Congresses! Poison and Tastykakes and the Poconos! It’s home to the American version of the Office and our only gay President (unless you believe the rumors about Lincoln)! And if you’re going to pick on us for weird laws, why not focus on our State Store system for selling alcohol at an incredible markup?
I jus spend Memorial Day Weekend in the Jersey Shore (Belmar/Pt. Pleasant/Bradley Beach area) and I feel like this guy.
I meant this guy, but that works too.
You mean…hot
???
You mean…oiled
???
For the remix of ignition, I’m hot and fresh out the kitchen.
“Rather than deal with the problems he was facing as a recent college grad, Paul Jury decided to leave them in his rearview mirror. He might not have known the direction his life was headed, but he knew the route he was taking to hit all forty-eight contiguous states on one epic road trip.”
So, basically it’s a book about a giant asshole with too much time and expendable income? Coooooool book. Cooooool video.
Epiiiiiccccccc.
Kelly, your avatar always makes me sing this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hJjx7jTHA8
So now my co-workers hate me directly and you by extension.
I sing this one:
http://stereogum.com/703612/when-saints-go-machine-kelly/mp3s/
I like that one Nate Scott!
Oh man, you know that time in sixth grade when the cool new kid said hi to you but that’s all they said and you were all like “Now I’m cool” like the Cool Vampire bit you and now you can SEE INTO FOREVER?
That’s totally me right now.
It’s like being bitten by a were-actuary
Did anyone else feel like these were pretty lazy? Like he only read the 1st sentence of each state’s Wikipedia article and then congratulated himself with a PBR?
Yes! Alabama: Our state bird is NASCAR.
Really? That’s the best you’ve got? Lame.
PBR and an incredibly annoying soundtrack. This isn’t an episode of Car Talk or the New Yankee Workshop, asshole.
The Florida stereotype was pretty spot on. The only thing I would add is that people aren’t meant to live here.
Agreed. As someone who lived in Alabama for nearly a decade, the Florida panhandle is the most backwards and terrifying region in the southeast.
the Florida stereotype is also true of Maine.
There are no good Pennsylvania stereotypes, because why would you ever think about people from Pennsylvania? You wouldn’t, and probably don’t. It’d be like having a stereotype about people from Delaware.
“Delware: who cares?”
Noooo! How did I correct the spelling of “Delaware” the first time, but not the second?
“Pennsylvanians: we are sloppy copy-editors.”
Being from Pennsylvania, I feel the same about Ohio. Who cares? But I’m probably just projecting.
the weird thing about ohio is that I can name 6 cities in that state without even trying and I’m from New England. I couldn’t even locate Ohio on a map until college, but I sure do know the names of their cities.
I think that’s because Ohio cities always need to make a big deal about how they’re a city in Ohio. If you’re talking about New York, or Philadelphia, or Boston, you can just say the name of the city. But with Ohio it’s always, Columbus, OHIO, or Akron, OHIO. Like any other state would name a city “Akron.”
I grew up in Columbus, and we do that because Ohio is incapable of naming their own cities. Basically every city is named after another city. Athens, Rome, Oxford, Toledo, Washington, even Columbus and Cleveland. So now that I live outside of Ohio, I have to specify that I lived in Ohio because people will assume that it’s Columbus Georgia or Indiana or somewhere else.
Also who knows where Akron is unless they grew up in Ohio? No one.
Delaware is “Delaware: Where you go to buy your big TV if you live near Delaware.”
“Delaware: there is a long highway here that you can drive down if you want to get to Maryland.”
Delaware: Where you go to buy your alcohol if you live in Pennsylvania.
Pennsylvania: Land of Polar Opposite Entertainment Exports??
Both of those things started out good and then got really really bad and hyperbolic.
Yeah, Louisiana’s stereotype is pretty lame. Surely he could do better if he cared or visited or talked to me on facebook for 5 minutes. We just re-elected a Senator who ran on family values and called hookers from the floor of the US Senate! We love corruption and our people are awfully dumb.
Texas: Our most famous phrase, “Don’t mess with Texas,” came from a recycling campaign; nobody here recycles.
Or, better yet, here we go, “Louisiana: what you see on True Blood is pretty much spot for 95% of the state, except for the whole vampires and supernatural beings stuff.”
New York: it’s so hot, why is it so hot? why don’t I have functioning a/c? oh god, my apartment’s like a sauna without any health benefits (but also without old men.) seriously, NY:chill out, please. would a little breeze kill you? oh, I’m so miserable.
(am I doing this right?)
Yes, yes you are. Which is why I’m trying to move back to the land of never-getting-above-24c (71F). Near constant rain is better than the caprices of New York weather. New York: highly liveable! (for two weeks in Autumn)
new york I love you, but you’re melting me down…
Illinois: probably still not able to find a not-corrupt politician; just give it time.
Georgia, where Kelly was born.
i watched 20 seconds of this last night before i hit stop. i probably audibly cursed out loud also. i hate the dude’s smirk, the effort that went into that travel, and the lazy hackiness that went into the jokes. I’m audibly cursing right now again.
Thumbs up on the hoedown music that was loud enough it made what he was saying hard to hear.
Lower Peninsula Michigan!
Puerto Rico: What’s the deal?
I thought Wisconsin was pretty spot-on.
Yeah, my boyfriend’s first winter here was a learning experience in that regard. I slammed a few beers before we went out one night, and when he looked at me askance, I explained the concept of a “beer coat.” He then laid claim to the other half of the six-pack.
Oklahoma: “Actually, it’s been seven days since our last tornado.”
Yeah, who am I kidding, that stereotype is spot on.
New York: not just Manhattan.
New Mexico: Red or Green?