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The Onion’s AV Club Inventory has a new video up today talking about and giving examples of movies in which the characters aged and their makeup did a terrible, over-the-top job of representing it. Which is great. There are lots of examples of this! I have a maybe controversial opinion about what I think is an example of this that I have never seen discussed online before, and I have KIND OF looked, and that is: you know the movie Blue Valentine? Well. If you don’t, which you do, it has Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling in it and switches back and forth between the time when they were dating and falling in love and the time when they were married and falling out of love. And these are only a few years apart. Like, when they’re dating Michelle Williams is pregnant and when they’re falling out of love her daughter is still very young, maybe 5ish. And their ages are like 22 and then 27, say. I don’t know if that’s true but I think that’s about right. But look at Ryan Gossling when they were dating. And then look at him when they were falling out of love. A BIT MUCH. I mean I’m sure there are a lot of reasons you could give for why it is a bit much. All of which would be bologna, but. And maybe a person could age that much in a few years, I guess. But still. A bit much. I like that movie though. Anyway, what are we talking about? Oh yeah, the AV Club Inventory video:
A lot of neat makeup ideas for the next time you go to a fancy party, ladies!
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I know from experience that 5 years of hair loss is like ten years of aging with a full head of hair. You’ll never understand what the follicly challenged have to go through! Never!
“I’ll understand more than you’ll… never know.” — Tobias Fünke and Frank Lloyd Wrong
Is this an appropriate place to brag about how I’m happy that my hair is turning gray, even if I’m 25? Lifestyle of a silver fox, here I come!
There are dozens of us! Dozens!
I prefer the follicly challenged.
Uh oh….Kelly WENT HARD at Gosling. I hate to see how this is going to play out.
I would like to think nightmare would still hit Ryan Gosling even if he got baldish and chubbyish
“I’d like to go hard at Ryan Gosling.” – thisismynightmare
Not that I don’t LOVE Ryan Gosling (I don’t really, because of how close together his eyes are, but I kind of do still like him because I am a female), but come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, that movie.
As the president and founder of the Videogum chapter of the Anti-Gosling alliance, allow me to say, WELCOME.
If only Gosling would GO HARD at Kelly, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
!
Ryan Gosling post on VGum = A piece of The Narrator dies.
So I’m guessing fat suits are next? Yay fat suits, now if someone can put on a fat suit and age 30 years they’d win all the Oscars
Been there, done that. — Paltrow
Have you ever seen one of those people who doesn’t quite seem to be human? You know what I mean, like the people who didn’t evolve quite right, and their features are all exactly wrong, like they’re on the other side of the uncanny valley or something. I imagine when those people get older, people think they’re actors ALL the time. “You don’t look like a real old person! Why are you wearing that disguise? Am I being punk’d?!”
I just assume everyone I meet is secretly Ashton Kutcher, it is why I tell everyone that The Killers was a terrible movie
True Fact: Every time I look at myself in a mirror, I wink at it just in case there is someone behind it with a camera.
I tried to find a gif of the Jersey Shore folk getting ready in front of the mirror with a camera behind it, but apparently one does not exist. But it would have worked so well right here.
Katherine Chloe Calhoun.
At first glance “AV Club” is a funny/clever name for a media review site, but NOPE turns out it is just a perfect, spot-on name that encompasses everything about that place to a T.
Also, their TV Reviews are very, very good.
Also, SHOWERS NOT REQUIRED.
i made the mistake of think this would be a supercut of bad old makeup. this is a good video but if i wanted to think and have a discussion i would be doing my work instead of watching this video.
I know I speak for everyone when I joke that the classic film Great Expectations, starring master thespians Gwyneth Paltrow and Ethan Hawke, actually is the worst in the opposite way. The characters are supposed to age decades, but the actors don’t. Of course, you all know exactly what I’m talking about.
Haha? Ugh. My funny bone is broken.
It’s not Ethan Hawke and Gwyneth Paltrow’s faults that they’re so attractive!
Maybe not Hawke’s, but I have no probelm blaming Paltrow
Hey, that guy has a Hulk Hand on his desk!!! I have that!
I just looked up pictures of friends prior to a kid & then 5 years later. LOTS of aging. Then I looked at pictures of Obama 5 years ago then today. Whoa! What I am saying is, you cannot say even slightly-maybe-not-even-remotely-negative things pertaining to Ryan Gosling without my brain discrediting it.
Hair loss, glasses, mustache, bologna. The four horsemen of male attractivenessocalypse.